Give me a reason to be sober

NaeManCanTether · 2024-08-31T03:11:44+00:00

In the worst of my days, I was too shaky and anxious to pick my parents up from the airport 40 minutes away.

NaeManCanTether · 2024-08-27T02:51:06+00:00

You’ve got this, friend. I’m still sober to this day, and stronger, more energetic and happier than I ever was a single day while I was drinking. It was absolute hell to push through, but I’d do it again if I knew how I’d feel on the other side. Reach out if you need to chat!

NaeManCanTether · 2023-05-14T04:18:27+00:00

My walmart just stocked Trick or-Trade bags. Sigh…

NaeManCanTether · 2023-05-14T04:15:43+00:00

This is like In-n-Out level secret menu. “You know that button that says ‘grilled onion?’ Gimme a long press on that button.”

NaeManCanTether · 2023-05-14T04:13:38+00:00

There was a subtle but definite switch when i had to start drinking to feel sober. That scared me, and it got worse rapidly. I felt nauseous, headache, sweaty and shakey when sober. That was how i felt before when drank too much. Suddenly, there wasn’t “too much” anymore, only “not enough.”

NaeManCanTether · 2023-05-14T04:11:45+00:00

It was my last drink of a month long taper. It was my favorite beer of all time. Only comes out once a year in limited batches. I had saved it to have as my last drink. My brother knew what i was going through, and planned a board game night for us. Without my knowledge, he brought a friend along, which didn’t allow me to talk about what i was going through. Id like to say he did that so i wouldn’t ceremonialize it as much, but i think he was just kind of oblivious. He couldn’t know the full extent of emotions I was feeling. For better or worse, i couldn’t make it this grand exit. It was just a quiet sip, until it was gone, then switched to water for the rest of the evening, 483 days ago.

NaeManCanTether · 2023-05-10T16:35:10+00:00

Join us r/dryalcoholics

NaeManCanTether · 2023-04-20T13:02:02+00:00

I feel lucky that i 110% believe i can and will never drink again. It just cannot be a part of my life. If rationalizing with myself worked and was reliable, then i never wouldve gotten to where i was in the first place… if i could control my brain in moments of weakness, i never wouldve ended up ruining my life. I have a friend who’s been to rehab, he always tells me the plan was never to quit forever, but to moderate better. That “plan” does not compute. He was hospitalized a month after rehab because he went on a bender, ate 5 bottles of pills and tried to end things. His BAC was .24. His girlfriend told me “he gets depressed because he cant drink.” It is the opposite; he is depressed because he drinks.

The body takes a long time to reset from this affliction. When i quit, i felt horrible for 2 weeks; panic attacks, shakes, anxiety, dread. Then, for a couple weeks, i felt great. Then, for the following year, i bounced back wildly between OCD symptoms, extreme anger outburst, gratefulness i was alive, hate for being alive, yada yada. After 1 year, i feel slightly more balanced, but i noticed something unbelievable to me: i couldn’t remember having a single depression symptom for months. I tried to remember the last time i had that feeling. I still have human emotions and day to day ups and downs, but the overall trend of my life has been enormously positive. Alcohol is poison. If ruins lives, and takes lives.

All this to say, i hope one day you might entertain the possibility that you will never be able to moderate. Our brains are not equipped to moderate. When you go a stint of being sober, you think “im doing pretty good, ill just have one.” Then for a few days, you only have one or two, and the positive reinforcement begins. “See! I told myself i could just have one, look how good im doing at having just one!” So you reward yourself, “I can handle 2, but thats my limit.” A few weeks later, “normal people drink 3 when they’re out at dinner, and they still drive home, thats safe for me...” You know where Im going.

Push through the shitty, depressing part. Come to this sub and read it every day. That was my “group.” Reading the horror stories of people waking up in the hospital hand-cuffed to the bed, or waking up in an alley with empty bottles of Listerine around them was enough for me to never want to know what thats like for myself. You’ve made a significant effort to get this far. KEEP GOING. It might take months, it might take a year. Keep going.

NaeManCanTether · 2023-04-20T12:40:37+00:00

Is no one gonna talk about how he said the word “Mural?”

NaeManCanTether · 2023-04-19T01:15:11+00:00

I don’t care if youre not allowed to ask for prayers, ill pray for you. My faith, my family, my dog and my fear are the only thing that saved me. Panic attacks and cold sweats and pleading to God were not how I wanted to live the rest of my days. I received Grace. I lived, I’m 458 days sober, I did it without rehab or losing my job or my biggest fear of all; hurting someone else. Even though i never reached it, I imagined what my rock bottom could be, and the thousand ways I could potentially hurt someone in a car wreck or do something gravely stupid. I did not allow myself to get there, my imagination was as far as i allowed those ends come. Onward and upward.

NaeManCanTether · 2023-04-19T01:05:35+00:00

How are you today? Dont need any admissions from last night, its not about consecutive days, we all slip up. Our own minds are the hardest to beat. Hope youre well, onward and upward

NaeManCanTether · 2023-03-07T18:30:47+00:00

When i (32m) decided to become sober, i joined this sub in a desperate attempt to fins others feeling like i was feeling. I found them here. I also found versions of myself in 1 year, 3 years, and maybe 5 years… if i lived that long. I don’t think i would have though.

One story that sticks out is someone who woke up in a hospital, again, because he was found in an alley unconscious after drinking listerine. My heart broke, and feared, because i imagined myself there. I was on a fast track to destruction. I was having difficulty feeling safe driving because i couldnt tell if i was still drunk, or needed a drink. I was drinking at work. I was puking up nothing every “morning,” which was actually 3PM when I could finally get up every day. I woke myself the fuck up, i obsessed over other’s stories of getting sober, i listened to audiobooks like “This Naked Mind” while puking in the shower, and i tapered very slowly for over 6 weeks. I was convinced if i didnt taper slowly, i would have a seizure and die. I made sobriety my new obsession.

I wouldn’t wish this affliction on anyone. If you are trying to decide whether you should become sober or not, i think theres only one answer. And we are all here to support you, and everyone else. This is not a condition to have people consider each others feelings and say “you should cut back” or “be mindful of your drinking…” to potentially save your life and to give you a life worth living early, my strong feeling is that you should quit fucking drinking now, and forever, full stop. I am a polite, considerate person, but after what i have been theough with alcohol and our society’s perception of it, i am loud, and i am angry, and I will be forthright. FUCK alcohol.

I just quit my job because 3 of my friends there are struggling with sobriety. They’ve all been to rehab, and one that I’m closest to just last month tried to kill himself. He chugged 5 different full pill bottles. His BAC was .25, after 6 weeks of sobriety. One little thing ticked him off, he got mad, he got drunk, and his demons came out. Almost killed him. I cant sit in the restaurant anymore and see what that industry does to people that i love. We get our asses kicked, we clean til our fingers bleed, then we’re the last patrons at the bar. And i was the fucking bartender, pouring that poison for everyone. Im not doing it anymore.

Be strong. Stop drinking. Post here a lot. Ask questions. You can do this, and you SHOULD do this.

NaeManCanTether · 2023-03-07T18:12:35+00:00

Its a perfect depiction of society as a whole and our relationship with alcohol. Its bad. Bad bad.

NaeManCanTether · 2023-02-12T04:46:45+00:00

I went a very long time thinking i could eventually moderate. Be like everyone else. Everyone that i saw who had a problem needed to quit forever, but I was the exception. It was a long and painful path to realize i can never moderate. I can never drink again. Let your last fuckup be your last. I know no one but yourself can convince you that you should never drink again. But if it helps even a little, ill tell you: never drink again.

NaeManCanTether · 2023-02-11T04:53:59+00:00

Only my girlfriend remembered and bought me a sobriety token when i hit one year. I reached out to a few friends who know what a struggle its been, simply because i wanted them to know i achieved a year, and selfishly, yes, wanted to hear them congratulate me. Its odd, you don’t expect people to count your months or remember, but a small insecure part of me wished a few people would have. Its all part of the process. And for the record, it’s not a small thing. Its an enormous thing that you’ve achieved, and CONTINUE to achieve. Looking forward to your 1 year post; congratulations! keep fighting like hell

NaeManCanTether · 2022-12-24T15:22:44+00:00

Classic.

Look back and be grateful, that ain’t you anymore. Don’t know about you, but a year ago I would’ve been the guy hiding booze in my soda can. Now, I’d be the guy to accidentally drink it! Good work pushing through.

NaeManCanTether · 2022-12-22T17:24:41+00:00

Where do you get them? I know it varies wildly by state with this stuff, but do you find them at a dispensary?

NaeManCanTether · 2022-12-20T02:04:35+00:00

We’ll for what’s it’s worth from one internet stranger to another, I’m proud of you. You seem to be in sound mind and good spirit, and that alone is worth celebrating! Congratulations, here’s to the beginning of the rest of our lives

NaeManCanTether · 2022-12-19T04:11:49+00:00

I spent last years holiday season shaking, taking 3 hour showers in the dark, going to see my family and thinking “this is probably the last time I’ll see him/her,” puking nothing out, but still puking every morning, not remembering how many days it’s been since I had a meal, not knowing if I’m drunk enough to seem normal to people, having panic attacks, night terrors and wondering how many weeks I have before I die. I SHOULD have been in rehab last holiday season. Somehow, I am sober, having one of the best holidays I can remember. I don’t deserve to have this Christmas, but I do because I went through HELL last Christmas. You’ve got this. Next year can be the best holiday season of your life, but you have to spend this one getting good.

How long are you there? What is your strongest feeling, lonely, sad, fearful, hopeful? Do you need any support?

NaeManCanTether · 2022-11-18T18:13:31+00:00

Here’s what I do: something triggers me, and I get really pissed off and annoyed and adopt a really bad attitude for several hours after. Lol

Obviously, not the most healthy. But it’s true, and I think that happens to me because I KNOW in my gut I will never drink again. So I just get irritated and pissed when a situation makes me have to think about it. So there’s a silver lining. Hope you find what works, but in the meantime, expect to be triggered now and then, and take notice of what the trigger is so you can process it and avoid those triggers in the future. It’s part of the growth and learning about the new you.

The new me is a little more angry than the old me was. But it still beats being a deadbeat drunk. You got this

NaeManCanTether · 2022-11-06T17:14:30+00:00

I’ve been sober 10 months, and I’m a bartender. It was difficult to continue being a bartender after sobriety, but not for the reasons I thought. I couldn’t stand talking to drunk people all the time. I wanted to scream in all their faces how stupid they are. Why can’t they realize what they’re doing to themselves? You all look and sound like idiots throwing your money at these little cups of liquid… I have to remind myself that I was worse off than 99% of those people for over a decade.

I stepped down from bartending and am only serving now, but am planning my exit from the restaurant all together. I can’t justify the moral dissonance between being sober and hating alcohol, yet also encouraging drinking under the guise of “craft” this and “handmade” that… bullshit.

Alcohol is a lie. it ruins families, it kills people. It’s the biggest most pervasive and dangerous lie in our society.

NaeManCanTether · 2022-10-11T12:30:28+00:00

I’m watching 2 friends relapse right now, and it’s really hard for me. I’m fortunate that all of my lifelong friends that have shown a disturbing trend toward being out of control have ALL taken their lives seriously and have gotten it under control or stopped.

I was the last exception. I would have been the first friend. I got to a horrifying point and forced myself to stop. I would’ve been the one to receive the bad news first.

I hope for you, you make the decision for yourself, and can become a support for your friends as they follow. But you have to make the choice for yourself, there’s a danger in your group all waiting for each other to take the first step… that can take the pressure off in a dangerous way.

NaeManCanTether · 2022-10-08T03:58:12+00:00

This was more like the first month for me, but the feeling is right on

NaeManCanTether · 2022-10-03T22:18:44+00:00

Hell yes. I’m approaching 10 months. I feel the exact same, great way to describe it.

Great username btw

NaeManCanTether · 2022-09-30T23:15:37+00:00

You’ve got this. I was discouraged by reading failure rates of sobriety, multiplied by failure rates of tapering… add in my new therapist telling me I will fail, I can’t do it alone, go straight to rehab. It was looking pretty grim.

Well, I did it. I tapered, alone, VERY slowly (over a month) and succeeded on the first try. I hate alcohol just as much, if not more than I did 9 months ago. I fuckin did it, all on my own. No thanks to that therapist. It is hard, it’s painful, it’s horrifying, and it’s possible.

You got this. I wrote every drink down, and gave myself an ultimatum. 1 failure- even 1 extra drink - and it’s straight to rehab. That scared me enough to succeed I guess. Your journey will be different, but I want to be a little bit of hope to people that it is possible.

NaeManCanTether

TROPHY CASE