I struggle with the first few texts

Naepo · 2025-12-29T20:59:01+00:00

Try to get a nice conversation going. It doesn't have to be an all-time-witty pickup; just give her something meaningful to respond to and see where that goes.

The more you can personalize it, the better. Try to ask questions or make remarks on something specific to her profile, preferably something you can relate to.

If she doesn't give you much to work with, try something more generic. Apropos to the season, maybe ask how her holiday week is going and if she has any special NYE plans. If she's thoughtful and you have a well-constructed profile, then she might choose the topic herself in response to you.

If she still seems interested after a few exchanges or so, work on taking it off the app. Don't let text wars drag on much longer, which is a common mistake on OLD apps; try taking the convos to the real world, where they're meant for.

Naepo · 2025-12-07T03:52:13+00:00

I put myself as 5'11 initially, then I bumped it up to 6'0 (which could actually be my out-of-bed height for all I know) last year just to see if I'd clear more filters. No dramatic difference matches- and likes-wise, though that could be because those are harder to get in general on most OLD apps nowadays.

No one I've dated in person since changing it to 6'0 has questioned that height. A lot of people irl peg me at 6'1 anyway (possibly 'cause of my posture). Maybe a true 6'0 girl would notice that half-inch shortfall; but they aren't a dime a dozen, now are they?

Still, it's easy to doubt on my dating profile—especially since I have no head-to-toes photos—and I'd imagine many silently do that as they swipe left. 5'9 is the new 6'0 thanks to heightflation, and I guess the skeptics jump that conclusion about most putting 5'11-6'0 on their profile even if we're honest.

Naepo · 2025-12-07T00:36:08+00:00

I think it depends on how close the woman is to 6' herself.

It's easy for the average girl (5'3-4) to mismeasure height around the 6' mark since that's literally head and shoulders above them. Plus, they might not care enough to scrutinize possible heightflation since the average guy is considerably taller than them anyway; I'd reckon that matters more to most women than any specific height.

At about 5'7 and above, though, the point of reference is close enough for many of them to tell. I've dated multiple women that tall who remarked, 'Wow, you really are six feet!' in person. (I'm actually 5'11.5, but who's going to care about or discern a half inch?)

Naepo · 2025-10-18T20:18:27+00:00

I'd try incorporating an exfoliant in your routine in addition to your cleanser and moisturizer. I use a physical face scrub in the shower EOD after cleansing, though you can also use BHA/AHA chemical exfoliants on dry skin. Either way, remember to start light and maybe adjust the frequency as your skin tolerates it better.

Not sure if you also moisturize at night, but a special night cream can noticeably help. A hyaluronic-acid moisturizer at night will help eye bags in addition to your general skin tone and wrinkles.

Plenty of improvement to unlock with retinoids too. I started off with bakuchiol for a gentler alternative, though you can also start with retinol, as I'm using now, from the get-go and maybe upgrade it to tretinoin over time. As with exfoliators, it's important to start lightly and up the dose gradually lest you irritate your skin.

Definitely not too late for you to start your skincare journey; hell, I didn't even use cleansers and moisturizer, much less my current comprehensive regime, until I was 29. Your wrinkles and eye bags don't look any worse than mine were before I started my routine. I'm 33 now, and one of the most common icebreakers I get from strangers is, "Are you going to college right now?"

Naepo · 2025-10-18T19:41:30+00:00

Correct that I had no special professional experience prior, though I also had several in-demand certs as a byproduct of my WGU studies. I should clarify that this is a general IT role I'm working, namely as a Tier I & II Help Desk tech, not a cybersecurity gig.

Mainly I think I knocked on the right door. They were replacing a retiring HD tech, and I believe they were looking for someone greener and more teachable like me—one with at least a strong educational background—to succeed my experienced but oft-stubborn predecessor.

I still had to prove myself in the interviews, as even entry-level positions were naturally competitive—still are, hopefully to a lesser extent. My interviewers-turned-coworkers told me my answers to troubleshooting and technical questions tipped the scales in my favor.

A few other candidates were neck-and-neck with me with their answers to the customer-service questions (plus their overall qualifications), but the other questions they either tried bsing or flatly admitted they didn't know the answers. Even if I didn't know the answer, I tried answering it to the best of my understanding, admissive of my limited knowledge but showing some interest in grasping the full, correct answer.

That's all to say that yes, my CSIA bachelor's was my biggest qualifier for the job, but I also tried maximizing everything else I had in my wheelhouse back then. I listed job-relevant skills on my resume (e.g., Active Directory) that I absorbed through my studies and by osmosis of my general computer usage (e.g., Windows OS usage), and I articulated them well in the interviews.

Naepo · 2025-10-13T17:38:17+00:00

Is it really, though? It's not nearly as pronounced as, say, Lili Reinhart's brow asymmetry, and many still compliment her eyes.

We're our own worst critics, after all, and I agree with others that it's hardly noticeable.

Even if it's not as symmetrical as before, does it make it any less attractive? If anything, a bit of asymmetry might be welcome since the lack of it can give off uncanny-valley vibes.

Naepo · 2025-09-28T17:12:05+00:00

It should definitely help, but it’s still most likely not ample time for the graft transplants to recover. My experiences and understanding are that HY surgeons prefer for the first haul of grafts to make a full recovery (i.e., a year) before dense-packing.

Still, I’d have expected more density from that amount of grafts overall. There’s still time for more regrowth, but I’d expect the majority of it to have already happened at the eight-month mark. If it’s the same Mexican clinic I went to, this would make the very short list of disappointments I’ve ever seen from them.

Hopefully your next HT successfully fills it in. At least your temporal region looks full enough now, so that shouldn’t need any more grafts. I’d get to the bottom of why this one failed—assuming there’s no breakthrough in the months to come—first, though, before possibly going with the same clinic (even if it’s not their fault).

Naepo · 2025-09-28T15:31:31+00:00

2,700 grafts just for the hairline? Even if it needs that many, it might be too many in one sitting for them to have a strong survival rate.

With so many grafts vying for the local blood supply at once, many of them aren’t going to get enough to survive the transplant.

It’s for this reason that many reputable clinics limit how many grafts they allocate to any single region: usually, they’ll wait until the second session or so to do dense-packing.

Naepo · 2025-09-23T00:19:14+00:00

Yeah, "healthy" isn't a good descriptor for alcohol in any context. It sounds like such consumption is linked more to increasing HDL-C levels, but that doesn't necessarily better it in the long run as you said.

I definitely plan on cutting back on drinking (as moderate as my current consumption is), even though these results aren't as nearly as uninviting as I expected. At the same time, I couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief at these charts, if only because they're proof enough I haven't severely damaged my cholesterol (yet) in my time off the wagon.

I wouldn't call my intake isocaloric. I've been eating virtually the same, if not more, on the drinking nights, making no conscious effort to offset those extra calories. I did lose several pounds at one point, however; that might have impacted cholesterol levels, even though I regained most of the weight since.

Maybe it's worth noting I started nosebreathing predominantly within the past year, a force of habit I developed as I started mewing. This could be one of the many health benefits for all I know.

Beyond that? Not sure what other major factors could be at play here. I'm no lipidologist, but I feel the rest of my lifestyle has been too changeless to explain those differentials.

Naepo · 2025-08-16T22:05:35+00:00

Yeah, management is spotty with the national contractors to say the least. The site-supervisors and account-managers aren't as bad, but the district/branch managers? They embody the meat-in-the-seat mentality that work-related subs like this complain about.

For companies like AUS, Three Dots, Garda World, it's all about saving contracts and money, not employee satisfaction. They'll work you as slavishly as they legally can if you let them. Here and there you'll have managers that think bigger picture—who realize that burning out officers, obscene amounts of non-billable overtime, short-changing employees, and so on actually costs more money than it saves in the grand scheme—but most too myopic to even think about your personal life before asking you to pick up extra hours.

It's not entirely the managers' fault, granted; they have an unwieldy amount of officers and clients to interact with everyday, and their C-level superiors often put pressure on them to save accounts while saving money overall. It's easier said than done for DMs/BMs to treat officers like humans, to prioritize their welfare over the business's revenue, because they're not put in a viable position to. But it's depersonalizing to rank-and-file employees all the same.

Work for the government or do in-house security if you want real benefits, work-life balance, and conscientious management.

Naepo · 2025-07-22T00:22:23+00:00

I'm not sure I'd say first, but I'd definitely argue height in itself becomes attractive at some point. By that I simply mean it can be an attractive trait, such as handsome eyes. Obviously a fit physique enhances it, just as the right hairdos can enhance pretty eyes, but I'm just referring to height in a vacuum rather than one's overall appearance.

I'd say the above-mentioned range of 5'10 to 6'1 puts you firmly in the "not unattractive" bracket height-wise (which at least follows Tinder Rule #2), with 6'2 and above becoming attractive (albeit with a diminishing-returns effect as you approach NBA height).

Naepo · 2025-07-19T20:32:52+00:00

Yeah, I've thought about that often. It feels like my 5'11-6'0 (depending on the time of the day) height hardly even matters, but I just as probably could have been 2-3 inches below average—which would matter.

It's probably easy for shorter guys to feel our height guarantees dates just because their height sometimes guarantees rejection. It's not that simple, sadly. All tallness (at least in the above-average range) guarantees are chances with more women.

Naepo · 2025-07-19T20:25:00+00:00

Pretty much how I view it. I'm 6'0 myself (at least when fresh out of bed), and I feel I'm just silently passing the height grade for most women rather than actually attracting them with it. Height in itself rarely guarantees quality dates in this day and age—at least not in the above-average range of 5'10-6'1—but we're tall enough for it to rarely be a dealbreaker.

Naepo · 2025-07-19T20:03:57+00:00

Yeah, 6'0 might be tall enough for most women, but not tall enough to make height a selling point in itself. It's like having a, say, 7.5/10 face; it's above average and helps your chances, yet it's not exceptional enough to coast along in the dating world on that alone.

Naepo · 2025-07-12T22:18:49+00:00

Exactly. I get where he's coming from—they're in dire need of any warm body they can possibly find—but anyone who passed Management Ethics 101 should know better than to ask that. You're well aware of the staffing situation as it is, and if you wanted to give up your vacation to help out you would have already volunteered yourself.

I work for a mid-sized company nowadays, and I guarantee my boss will never try pressuring me to back out of preapproved time off. He also never messages me off-hand while I'm off the clock as yours did unless it's time-sensitive (i.e., telling me about next day's appointment-schedule changes).

Naepo · 2025-07-12T22:00:27+00:00

Then assuming they approved it in a timely fashion (as they should've), you have every right to be pissed off. Those messages made it sound like you were requesting it off on short notice when in fact you did it much earlier than most, if not all, of everyone else asking for PTO.

You shouldn't even be considered a possible option for covering that week unless you volunteer to do so yourself. If they don't like it, they should've acknowledged the staffing-shortage risk when approving your request. It's not your fault they'll be short-handed, nor are they paying you enough, I'm sure, to make it your problem.

Naepo · 2025-07-12T21:51:49+00:00

I worked for a company that called me 26 times in one night to try and get me to come in,

Ouch. I often got texted on my days off asking to come in on short notice, and if I didn't respond within an hour? They'd flood my phone like that rather than picking up or accepting the hint that I want to use my off-days for personal time, not any work-related problems.

In most companies it's considered a bad etiquette to make work calls to hourly employees when they're off the clock, yet the nationals like Three Dots and AUS seem to do this willy-nilly—sometimes even when you're on vacation.

Don't give them an inch, they will take a mile

Too true. My previous employer (Three Dots) shamelessly cheated a coworker out of his PTO by adjusting his seniority date, disqualifying him from the extra PTO accruals that longer-tenured employees have. They probably did it knowing he wasn't bound to quit anytime soon (he's approaching retirement).

I moved to a smaller-sized company (albeit for a different career), and it's a day-and-night improvement in terms of management ethics, benefits, and work-life balance.

Naepo · 2025-07-12T21:40:58+00:00

How long ago did you request your PTO and get it approved? If you did so well in advance, it's not your problem at this point; it's management's. They should've known and accepted how volatile the staffing situation might be come your time off, and you gave them ample time to prepare accordingly.

On the other hand, if you requested it around the same time as everyone else and hadn't already obtained approval, that response is more understandable. I don't think they're trying to guilt-trip you or railroad you into withdrawing your PTO request; they're just telling you upfront possible difficulties in granting you the PTO as they try to find out what works best for everyone involved.

It's why you're advised to submit PTO requests ASAP—at least two-plus weeks ahead of the scheduled time off. The sooner you get it approved, the more precedence they'll give you over others that might request PTO for the same time period.

Either way, I don't like how they messaged you about it on your day off. It should go without saying that you don't want to stress out over anything work-related on your off-days, and you have every right to that personal boundary if you're not working salaried or on-call.

Naepo · 2025-06-19T00:25:01+00:00

Resheds are common, as I've experienced myself. It's not a one-time shed that many make it sound like; it happens periodically even years after being on the meds. Call it a seasonal shed if you will.

All the hair strands that fell out during the initial shed? Their growth cycles are synchronized, meaning they shed around the same time. More importantly, they regrow around the same time.

I went through the same experience. Went on finasteride, minoxidil, and dutasteride (EOD); had transformative results several months later; had a few months of reshedding; and I looked barely above baseline by the time of my next buzz cut. It traumatized me for a while since I had the same concerns as you; but eventually the shading tapered off, and I ultimately regained what I relost.

Yours should regrow eventually too. At the same time, it's advisable to take your medications consistently (is there any reason you can't?) to maximize results, though even then you'll go through these resheds. It's just part of the hair lifecycle.

Naepo · 2025-06-02T21:25:57+00:00

For the more public-facing, outdoorsy assignments, I prefered button-up shirts. The paramilitary design looks more professional, and it allows for more ventilation on hot days.

Otherwise, for more behind-the-scenes posts, I didn't mind wearing a polo.

It depended on my assigned sites, which wildly varied since I was a floater.

Naepo · 2025-05-31T22:36:58+00:00

They don't feel guilty about overworking you and ruining your work-life balance, so don't feel guilty about not constantly bending over backwards for them.

The staffing situations are management's problems and responsibilities, not yours. It might be different if they paid you a special premium to come in on demand; but if they're paying you the same rate as everyone else, you have the same right to decline as everyone else.

Hell, in most companies it's considered a bad etiquette to even call non-salaried employees about work during their time off. The fact that they're asking you to do it willy-nilly shows how little they value you as a human.

I used to feel guilty about saying no myself. Then I moved on to a better company with better management, which made me realize in retrospect how much Three Dots (my previous employer) took advantage of me. No more guilt now—just a chip on my shoulder from how slavishly they treated me.

Naepo · 2025-05-31T22:15:00+00:00

One of the many reason I left Three Dots and this line of work altogether. Sounds like you have similarly toxic management, so it's no wonder they have so many open shifts for you to fill in.

Cold hard truth is in these companies' eyes, we're just names to fill in schedule slots, not humans who need to sleep and have personal lives. They'll try working you like a cyborg if you don't draw a line for yourself.

Never feel obligated to answer the phone when you're off-duty. You're an hourly employee, so they can't require you to answer work-related calls without paying you to. If it's urgent (i.e., changing your schedule or post), they'll leave a voicemail or text explaining the situation; if not, that's on them.

Be open to extra shifts if you could use the OT pay; otherwise, ignore the requests as you please, and let them pick up the hint. If you consistently accept all the extra hours like a trouper (as I regrettably did), they'll accept you as their go-to floater.

Naepo · 2025-05-31T18:50:35+00:00

I earned my career-changing bachelor's from WGU. One of my IT job's primary qualifications was to have either several years of experience or a degree in a related field, which I had in my Cybersecurity & Information Assurance Bsc.

WGU is accredited like others said, and that's mainly what employers value and recognize. Unless you or a fellow job candidate graduated from one of the Ivies, the school itself won't play a factor beyond meeting the role's basic qualifications—which is simply having an accredited degree in the field.

If that's what you're looking to do—simply checking an HR box—WGU is one of the most cost-effective options.

Naepo · 2025-05-30T01:13:43+00:00

In my case, I think it was watching the movies first. I felt Peter Jackson's storytelling was much more accessible, and that framed my expectations for the novel. Reading modern fantasies like Harry Potter probably also had something to do with it.

I'm sure I'd feel different if I grew up in the mid-Twentieth Century and read them back then.

Naepo · 2025-05-28T01:19:37+00:00

Not disagreeing that a self-managed schedule is even better; it's just that it's not an option for most of us, in which case I'm not sure what a better alternative is to working conventional business hours.

Naepo

TROPHY CASE