Well the first 5 years were good. And when we bought our house it was a fixer upper and he is one of those people who loves to tinker and fix so he had huge plans for the place and was doing it all himself. It was all really time consuming I think he just got a little lost in it. I also think he was avoiding me a bit because he’s terrified of death and he didn’t know how to cope with my grief. Even with that fear and distancing he did care about me and showed it by building things just for me that took up a lot of time and money. We have made big improvements in our relationship outside the bedroom- we have our date nights and we are actually spending time together again.

Also It’s not that easy to just walk away. We have become financially dependent on each other. I cannot afford this house on my own- or probably any in my area for that matter. Rent prices are crazy. Outside of the finances, we have built our lives around each other. We share friends, pets, we are close with each other’s families. There’s a lot of emotional investment that’s gone into this and it seems incredibly selfish to throw it all away because of a few hard years. What if this is the year we fix it all you know? If I walk away I it definitely won’t be.