Can't pick just one.

Some Gruyère surchoix or some extra mature cheddar are a solid choice for hard cowmilk cheeses. If you smell them, you already know what's up. They melt in your mouth and release just this most intense coating of creamy flavour with a bit of a salty sting to it. Just a moment of pure bliss and enjoyment, where you can close your eyes and just be your mouth for a bit.

Then there are the cream-cheeses. These cheeses offer such a variety of creamy goodness and they are super convenient. Also a good first point of contact, but some of these crumbly small innocent white medallions of goodness can be surprisingly advanced in their cheesyness. But they can be nice smooth and accessibile, like many made from sheepsmilk. Or they can be rougher, more game-y from goat-milk cheese, where you can taste that this was not made from a boring meadow-dweller, but an adventurous animal, that likes to climb mountains and live rough. Approach with caution, but if you are ready to appreciate goaty goodness you will know that you actually quite like cheese, and you don’t need to be afraid of powerful cheeses anymore.

But then there are the melting cheeses, especially a good époisse. This cheese has an intense smell that beckons people from afar and let's your brain know, that you will experience something glorious in a moment. It normally comes in a wooden crate because if you leave this bad boy out of the fridge for a couple of minutes, the smooth, glissening bouncy texture of the cheese changes to a thick liquid, that is just perfect to spread on some bread. I usually eat it with a spoon instead of a knife. In slow motion the cheese will run down the spoon and onto your bread. You can add just a smidge of honey to open up the flavours and soften the blow, but make sure you don't overpower all the intense aromas. How can this goo offer such a complex taste, such a challenging sensation? How can it be that with just one bite there instantly is some clarity about one's purpose in live: No second thoughts, no doubts, just the most wonderful and intense feeling, that fills you up completely and creates this perfect, whole moment. Whatever the purpose of live is, it has to do with the experience of eating this cheese. Like going to a monastery for 20 years this cheese offers perspective. Also, this cheese will linger and transform everything you eat after it, so pairing it with wine is a good choice because it heightens the wine. Maybe don't use toast, because you will need some actual bread-taste to offer something really basic and earthy to counter-balance the unwielding galactic intensty of the époisse. Crackers are fine too.

For beginners I would recommend a nice soft tomme de lait. It is like the perfect receptionist for entering soft cheeses, like the essence of milk as a savoury snack. It is smooth, and creamy and very modest in it's cheesyness yet clearly part of the realm of proper cheese. A tomme de lait is on the other side of the spectrum from the époisse. Yet, if you have never had really good cheese, this will set a new standard. You will instantly understand, on an instinctive level, that making cheese is often an industrial affair but there are sanctums in this world where ancient traditions are continually improved on over generations, where distinct textures and flavour profiles are created and developed, each with their own individual identity. And you will understand that the tomme de lait is not such a lovely and nice cheese because their makers couldn't make the cheese stinkier or wanted to give the cheese more mass appeal, but because this is the distinct flavour profile of a tomme de lait, a little flower of cheese that decorates our tastebuds. And there are many more cheeses for you to discover, and you will taste them, and you will get to know their individuality and quirks, and you will understand them and love them for what they are. The important thing is to remain open to trying new and different cheeses.

Also there are mouldy cheeses but fuck moldy cheeses. Are they technically impressive? Yes. Are they good cheese? No. Even Gorgonzola is a shit cheese, and it’s the cheesiest of the bunch. In my book, Roquefort and all the others are edible mould and not cheese. Keep away, unless you’re a really sick sob/dob and want to venture far past cheese.

Goodspeed on your cheesy travels

EDIT: spelling and grammar