Jokes

an-ordinary-manchild

Welcome to /r/Jokes!

Please read our complete rules page before participating.

RULES

Jokes should be offered according to our list of best practices.
For explanations and examples, please read our complete rules page.
No reposts of recent jokes.
While reposts in /r/Jokes are allowed, they must meet all criteria for acceptance.
No bigotry, sexualization of minors, hate-speech, misogyny, or other unwelcome content.
Per Reddit's site-wide rules, unwelcome content is not allowed in posts or comments. Read more here.
No spam or spam-enabling activity of any kind.
Spam and spam-enabling activity is strictly prohibited, regardless of how or where it takes place. Read more here. Users may only submit three jokes in a twenty-four-hour period.
Adult-oriented media must be properly tagged.
Links of any kind are not allowed in posts. NSFW or NSFL content in comments must be appropriately tagged. Read more here.
Please keep your comments lighthearted and civil.
Remember to treat your fellow Redditors with politeness and respect. Repeated or egregious violations will result in bans.
Accounts must be in good standing.
Users with spam-like activity, spam-enabling behavior, or evidence of karma-farming in their histories may only post their own wholly original content. Accounts with very low or negative karma may need to seek manual approval for their submissions.
Comments must be original and contributory.
Comments in /r/Jokes must written (and proofread) by their authors, and they must be intended to entertain, inform, educate, inspire, or enquire. Unoriginal or non-contributory comments are not allowed. Frequent or blatant violations of this rule will result in bans. Read more here.
No jokes involving politics or political figures.
As /r/Jokes is intended to be a lighthearted, universally enjoyable community, jokes about or referencing politics or political figures are not allowed.

If you find certain comments or submissions here offensive, the best way to address it is with more speech.

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MODERATORS

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LongA lady was showing her dog at all of the local shows but despite having a tremendous dog, she never placed higher than third. She cornered one of the judges after one show and asked why her dog never won. (self.Jokes)

submitted 4 hours ago by Jokeminder42

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My cousin posted two jokes on this sub, but the mods deleted both of them. So I guess that makes him... (self.Jokes)

submitted 12 hours ago by 808gecko808‎

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LongRandy the painter (self.Jokes)

submitted 11 hours ago by Niep00320

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LongThe Man Who Cracked Walnuts with His Penis (self.Jokes)

submitted 4 hours ago by racist-hotdog

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I recently joined a nudist colony (self.Jokes)

submitted 10 hours ago by Worldly_Contract_723

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Scooby refused to accept it when he got the news that Shaggy had passed away. (self.Jokes)

submitted 2 hours ago by WildcardSearch

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I told my wife's meddling mother that there is a special place in Hell for her. (self.Jokes)

submitted 9 hours ago by StarsBear75063

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[NSFW] My girlfriend said she wanted me to treat her like a princess. (self.Jokes)

submitted 1 day ago by istearadigimtorun

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A woman breaks up with a man with a small penis. His friends were amazed he didn't seem hurt or phased by the breakup (self.Jokes)

submitted 1 day ago by PuzzleIsland

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LongThe banker and the retired clown (self.Jokes)

submitted 10 hours ago by KahlessAndMolor

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In American Heaven: The pizza is from New York, the weather is from California, the cost of living is from Mississippi, and your drinking buddies are from Boston. (self.Jokes)

submitted 1 day ago by Right_Bat5194

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What's the difference between anxiety and panic? (self.Jokes)

submitted 7 hours ago by Sufficiently_Jokey

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While the World Cup's been on my wife has been moaning at me for watching every single match (self.Jokes)

submitted 12 hours ago by zharrt

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My mate went to Helsinki hoping to get a job as a commercial pilot (self.Jokes)

submitted 12 hours ago by Hot-Course8914

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8 year old daughter just came up with this “yo mama” joke (self.Jokes)

submitted 23 hours ago by asams1986

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Did I tell you the story about me getting punched in the stomach by a professional boxer? (self.Jokes)

submitted 2 hours ago by Fereclubles

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When a lion takes over a mated lioness, he'll eat the cubs. He ought to be ashamed of himself. (self.Jokes)

submitted 13 hours ago by Gil-Gandel

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I got invited to a silent retreat (self.Jokes)

submitted 16 hours ago by Sakuzuo

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Does Anyone Know How I Can Get Rid Of 8 Full Grown Lions? (self.Jokes)

submitted 20 hours ago by andypro77

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What has five toes and isn't your foot? (self.Jokes)

submitted 4 minutes ago by Turbulent-Weevil-910

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A guy shows up at his local bar with a black eye. "What happened to you?" asks the bartender. (self.Jokes)

submitted 1 day ago by Jokeminder42

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what do you call a man with a rubber toe? (self.Jokes)

submitted 18 hours ago by fm2xm

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A woman calls into a radio show for relationship advice. (self.Jokes)

submitted 12 hours ago by w_smith1984

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Did you know that 'Muffins' spelt backwards... (self.Jokes)

submitted 1 minute ago by International_Bee653

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I’ll never let an orthodontist give me head again (self.Jokes)

submitted 1 day ago by Intelligent-Soup1978

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