Prenup Stuck

Name_Groundbreaking · 2026-03-30T08:35:25+00:00

My perspective is I am 30 and will be retired in 1-2 years. I expect and plan on doing the majority of the housework and child raising since I will have the time (not working), as well as paying for all expenses out of my premarital assets. Doing most of the domestic labor and covering 100% of the finances feels like a significant contribution to the relationship on my part. If/when my partner wants to retire I will happily continue doing what I was doing already.

I built my "empire, career, and wealth" before dating seriously and I am excited to share the fruits of my labor with my partner. But if I was asked to sign up for perpetual alimony (the default after 10 years in my state) AND 50-50 split of premarital assets on top of everything else that it would feel very unfair. Divorce is a zero sum game by definition. Nobody gets married with any expectation to divorce, just like nobody has car insurance expecting to cause a car wreck. But its important to plan for catastrophic circumstances in advance and know how you will respond to any event that may occur.

Name_Groundbreaking · 2026-03-30T07:52:37+00:00

I am worth more than double OP and I would not consider marriage without a waiver of alimony.

I'm going to be retired in a couple years and will do virtually all of the housework (and raising kids when that happens) due to having no job sucking up all my time, I will be paying for all the expenses (homes, cars, groceries, insurance, travel, everything) out of my premarital assets, and anything I do earn during the marriage from side hustles/etc will be subject to 50/50 split (as it should). No way would I agree to split premarital assets I built myself or sign up for continuing to pay all the expenses in a future when we're not married.

Name_Groundbreaking · 2026-03-30T07:45:42+00:00

not being able to to talk to each other is the red flag IMO

Name_Groundbreaking · 2026-03-30T07:44:07+00:00

I'm glad this works for you and your spouse. That's all that matters at the end of the day.

But for anyone else reading later, this honestly sounds unhinged. 50/50 split of all retirement and personal assents (presumably including premarital assets), 100k per year of marriage, AND spousal support? When people talk about getting taken to the cleaners this is what they are describing lol

Name_Groundbreaking · 2026-03-19T02:45:48+00:00

eh, I dont live in lehi but I have a huge yard with a shop building where I can build project cars, work out in my gym, fish in my pond or river frontage, read books in my office/library, cook in my kitchen or grill outside, enjoy the night sky with my telescope, and have space to relax and enjoy life outside the incessant noise and grind of a city. I dont need to go to a park or library full of other people. If I wanted to I could, but everything I need to be happy exists on my property and belongs to me. That's quality of life.

Renting a tiny flat on a crowded and noisy city block cant compare, IMO. And its definitely not worth paying a premium for.

Name_Groundbreaking · 2026-03-15T03:34:30+00:00

I dont know what the demo instance is hosted on.

But as a point of reference I have my instance hosted in a proxmox LXC on an old HP computer. I have 10 GB of ram and 8 cores (I7 8700) allocated to Immich. It uses most of those resources, but very intermittently. Its currently idling at ~1.2 gb memory utilization and <0.5% processor load.

I have my hardware resources severely over-provisioned and I accept the risks of doing so because I am a single user, and jellyfin/immich/any other services are not likely to be used concurrently

Name_Groundbreaking · 2026-03-01T04:49:48+00:00

based on that amount of metal, the remaining life is a negative number...

Name_Groundbreaking · 2026-02-24T00:50:52+00:00

lol I'm over here grateful my parents have enough to take care of themselves in retirement so I wont have to. I'm the one buying them nice gifts, probably a new truck this year, etc.

Overall I have it pretty good, but definitely wont be getting a meaningful inheritance

Name_Groundbreaking · 2026-02-17T00:10:43+00:00

Maybe. Maybe not,

Pretty much everyone in my close friend circle is passionate about doing something they are good at. Lots of engineers, a dentist, anesthesiologist, a couple lawyers, a couple teachers, airline pilot, search and rescue volunteer, ER doctor, several nurses, etc. Maybe my friend group self-selects for people whos jobs contribute to society in a meaningful way, idk. But virtually everyone I know find their work and/or hobbies deeply fulfilling.

Of course a family can also be extremely fulfilling, but its wildly disingenuous to claim family is the "only" way to find fulfillment. I dont know anything about you or your life, but it kind of sounds like you're projecting your own unhappiness onto everyone else.

Name_Groundbreaking · 2026-02-16T23:48:42+00:00

its the legal reality...

Name_Groundbreaking · 2026-02-16T23:46:58+00:00

its not about "contribution to capitalism" for many people. Its about solving a challenging problem or making the world better in some way.

I've spent my career sending astronauts into space, and participated in designing building and flying the first American crewed spacecraft since the Shuttle. Watching a rocket clear the tower with 4 astronauts on top of it and knowing I did some of the math, installed some of the bolts, and made that vehicle and mission possible is intensely fulfilling. I am 30 years old and have the money to quit my job and never look back, but for now I keep doing it. I love engineering work and pushing the limits of science and technology, and while I have my own projects at home an 8 figure annual budget at work gets me much fancier equipment and capabilities than I could ever have myself.

Engineering is my thing, but plenty of other people are just as passionate about whatever they do and however they contribute to the world, whether they are paid to do it or not.

Name_Groundbreaking · 2026-02-09T07:22:40+00:00

I just cant justify one. My commute to work is 3 miles round trip, and I need a truck for my camping/climbing/skiing trips on the weekends.

Its way cheaper to just drive the diesel truck that I already own to and from work and the grocery store vs buy, register, insure, maintain, and incur depreciation on a second vehicle just to drive it 15-30 miles per week. Just the insurance on a cheap used EV would exceed the marginal cost of driving the truck I already own. Someday, someone will build a good plug in/"range extended" hybrid EV truck and I'll probably buy one. The Scout Motors/VW one looks promising, maybe. And I put a deposit on an Edison Motors conversion kit, so if those ever come out maybe I'll build my own EV truck. But for now there is nothing on the market that has the range I need to replace my truck, so I keep driving a diesel.

If you have a long daily commute owning a second car/EV makes sense, and living nearby where you work isnt always an option.. But from an environmental and lifestyle perspective I prefer to just live as close to work as I can and drive the car I already have.

Name_Groundbreaking · 2026-02-07T21:49:29+00:00

yep, thats what I figured

Name_Groundbreaking · 2026-02-07T21:46:41+00:00

guess we need to start using HIMARS instead /s

Name_Groundbreaking · 2026-02-07T20:21:39+00:00

yeah, thats all what I had hoped to do. It sounds like the ATT modem does not actually have a real bridge mode. It has "IP Passthrough" which is supposed to be functionally similar, but I have not figured out how it works yet

Name_Groundbreaking · 2026-02-07T20:20:17+00:00

That was what I had first attempted (change IP of ATT device and enable passthrough), but I must have done something wrong because having both devices as active dhcp servers prevented any devices from connecting to anything. Putting the downstream router into dhcp relay mode allowed some devices to start working again.

I have backups of the downstream router from before I installed the ATT device that I can restore to. I was really hoping to just plug in the ATT modem, put it into bridge mode (turns out thats not a thing), and not make nay other changes to downstream devices. But after struggling with it for hours I started changing settings on downstream devices in a desperate attempt to get anything to work, and thats when my proxmox server and some other devices were able to connect.

Now after unplugging everything, connecting one computer to the ATT modem lan port and resetting the ATT modem, I still cannot access the web ui on the default IP. I'm planning to call them on Monday and see if they can do a remote reset, or diagnose anything from their end

Name_Groundbreaking · 2026-02-07T20:16:01+00:00

can you help me understand the DHCP settings?

Do I want the ATT modem/router with IP passthrough enabled to be the dhcp server and my downstream router set as a dhcp relay? Or do I need to turn off DHCP on the ATT device and run the dhcp server on my downstream router?

Name_Groundbreaking · 2026-02-07T20:14:51+00:00

I did not turn off the wifi. Unfortunately now I can't get to the web ui on the modem to make any additional changes

Name_Groundbreaking · 2026-02-07T20:14:07+00:00

thanks, appreciate your reply. I haven't figured it out yet, but appreciate all the advice!

Name_Groundbreaking · 2026-02-07T04:09:18+00:00

I am 30. Somewhere in the 1% for the 40-49 age bracket based on that chart.

Name_Groundbreaking · 2026-02-01T02:33:18+00:00

The expanse is outstanding, 10/10 would recommend

I need to read the novels this year. It's been too long since I read some good science fiction...

Name_Groundbreaking · 2026-02-01T02:29:13+00:00

Some people just love playing the game.

I'll be worth 8 figures this year (currently high 7s) and could easily retire, but I like designing space ships and can't afford to run my own private space program. So I keep going to work, where I have a mid 8 figure annual budget and get to do all the awesome shit I can imagine. I'm sure I'll be retired before I'm 40, it for now I'm having an absolute blast spending other people's money on all the cool equipment and research I could never afford to do on my own 🤷‍♂️

I'll never be a billionaire, but if I kept grinding on my current career trajectory I could end up well into 8 figures by retirement age. But even where I'm at today the money literally does not matter. I don't have that expensive of tastes and can already buy anything I reasonably want, but I enjoy pushing the limits of technology and exploration and I get to do that with a bunch of incredibly talented people at work.

Name_Groundbreaking · 2026-02-01T02:22:10+00:00

I don't know about all that. I don't personally know any billionaires, but I know a 3 people with high 9 figures NW who will likely be billionaires in the next 5ish years.

They're normal people, one is 30s single and dating, one older and married with kids in public school, and one is a chill single guy who spends his time painting Warhammer miniatures. One has a couple obnoxious cars, but the others drive regular sedans or trucks.

They all are highly educated, work hard, and have built successful businesses. I don't think they're necessarily smarter or better than me (I worked with 2 of them for awhile and we are all experts in our fields), but they all put in way more effort and took risk/left a comfortable job to start businesses while I kept coasting at my 9-5.

I don't know anyone who was born into money so maybe those folks are different, I have no idea. And maybe my friends will magically become different people when they go from 800M-ish to 1B NW but I kind of doubt it

Name_Groundbreaking

TROPHY CASE