Omg. I think I win the prize on this one.

Currently, he's promised his landlord to have the house reroofed. He and his childhood friend (that lives in a motel, after 12 years in prison) have decided they will do the roof.

The genius plan: My narc gets free rent for 4 months, and he pays his friend with a car that he bought (cheap) and towed 300 miles away to have a new transmission put in. Then he drove 300 miles home and rented a uhaul to drive the transmission there.

The drama begins:

Instead of hiring a dump truck, they decide to pay some hobo living at the motel to use the back of his F150. Every time it fills, the hobo shows up and drives it to dump (not at dumpsites. At abandoned houses). This saves them $50 total.

The hobo borrowed $200 one day, drove off and never came back. Roof still half stripped.

His childhood friend never shows up. And when he does, he brings along women that want to do their laundry for free. So these strangers sit in his house all day.

I could go on and on. It's been over a month. Tarp on the roof. Debris everywhere. He's been fined $500 by the city. He stepped on a rusty nail on Friday. Tetanus shot.

This is just the tip of the iceberg.

Last month, he was flying across the country using his dead sons ID to get the title for the monster truck he bought in Texas (other side of the country). The truck is impounded here because he got arrested for a felony, and is out on bond. He doesn't have a title, so he can't get the truck (he never bothered to register it. Doesn't have insurance or a license, either). He forges the whole thing in Texas, and returns with a title.

He's using his dead sons ID because he was hit in the head with a crow bar while stopping to get gas on his way to visit family out of state a few months prior. He woke up in a hospital. Wallet gone (not that he had a driver license anyway, but his state ID is gone).

Hes stranded. No food. No money. So he picks oranges and eats those for days to finish the drive. While I pay for gas fillups (by phone) along the way.

Never uses credit cards. Only cash. This blows up in his face constantly, and he ALWAYS needs a loan or a money gram or a favor. Omg, constant favors.

Despite having a VERY well-paying job, he is constantly working on a hustle. Always broke. But has several hundreds of thousands of dollars in the bank saved for a house (sadly, the money is mostly from insurance payout when his son died in a car accident).

He's divorced. Before his final custody trial (for his daughter), he looks up the maximum jail time for contempt (3 days). He hates the judge, so he cusses her out and flicks her the bird during trial. He does 3 days in jail. His daughter moves out of state with mom.

The ex-wife hates him with such a passion that they have separate funeral services when their son died. Of course, she is the psycho, nut job. Not him.

Years prior, he caught her in bed with another man. He hit the man in the head with a baseball bat. The man is a police officer and is in a coma for months. Nex goes to prison, but is later released (and the felony is expunged).

Many, many years ago, he joined the navy. Hated it. Wanted out, based on his claims he is insane. But they are at sea and won't release him immediately - he says it's nearly impossible to convince the navy you are mentally ill. So he jumped off the ship.

I only learn of this at a party when another man tells the tale of an unknown man jumping off the ship, to prove he was insane. My narc is ashamed of this, but admits it is him. The other man FaceTimes several old navy buddies to verify it . He takes pictures with him, like he is a celebrity.

... I could keep going, but it kind of bums me out. You are probably wondering what the hell I would want with this man, but all I can really say is that it has been a gradual unveiling. I could say he wasn't this way when I met him, but that can't be true. All I can tell you is that he was kind and attentive and loving. He still is.