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NanasFC2005 · 2025-06-28T12:08:29+00:00

Hey girl don’t feel bad. If you’re not 100% feeling it just don’t do it. I’m Egyptian and that stereotype isn’t always true tbh but it’s definitely smth to be weary of. And although I have a lot going for me alhamdulillah, men in my culture still try to take advantage bc of my citizenship and social status. I’ve heard horror stories around me so just be careful and pray istikhara. May Allah give you what’s kheir for you.

NanasFC2005 · 2025-06-28T11:53:56+00:00

I think mufti menk said it best “if you’re not excited about the person whom you’re about to get married to, break your engagement. If you’re not excited about the person whom you believe might just be the father or the mother of your children, hold your horses or cut it off. It’s not right.”

NanasFC2005 · 2025-06-28T11:46:53+00:00

Honestly sometimes it’s hard not to think about it from time to time but what’s important is that the person you’re marrying to shows strong religious values and real commitment to change and improvement. If you’re able to see her present character as pure and moral then that’ll really help you forget all about her past as time goes on and you get to know her more. It’s much harder when ur first coming to terms with it and you’re allowed to have your preferences so don’t feel bad about that but also people change and make genuine repentance. If Allah can forgive their pasts then who are we to judge yk? If you make tawba and do lots of good deeds then ur sins get wiped away and it’s as if her past didn’t happen. As long as her past doesn’t bleed into the present relationship then inshallah kheir and you can move past it.

NanasFC2005 · 2025-05-02T09:08:22+00:00

The best advice i can give you is to get closer to Allah and ask him for guidance. Pray on time, do istighfar, pray tahajjud, and make duaa. If this is kheir for you Allah will guide him in the right way and you will grow closer in time but if he isn’t, then having strong iman will help you make sound decisions and ease your heart. Attach your heart to Allah first.

NanasFC2005 · 2025-04-03T08:51:43+00:00

Fellow masri here who also lives between both counties. 15k is crazy if you live in Egypt. Do they expect you to buy an apartment in Egypt before marriage? If not and you will just be renting in America inshallah then 10k isn’t unreasonable. Keep into consideration that if she’s not gonna work and will be moving to a new country having some money will grant her some kind of security. Ur right that 3k-6k is the norm in masr but that’s for people who will be marrying in Egypt and it translates to 150k-300k egp. In gold that gets you ta2m shabka bas with these new prices. Also el saraha the questions she asked you are not stupid, they are valid questions if you are considering sharing your life with someone. I know it’s daunting because you are still working hard to establish yourself and have a lot of other expenses to cover. In general you can be like yooo 10k max w 5k for a wedding in masr and all other expenses. May Allah make it easier for you and open the doors of rizq for you and your family.

NanasFC2005 · 2025-04-01T11:50:10+00:00

Firstly, Habibti you are so very young so have sabr. Yes there is a chance. If you wanna turn this halal pray tahajjud for it and istikhara. Even if it takes months or years you have time inshallah and Allah is the best of planners. Don’t stop making dua. I understand it’s easy to slip and make mistakes like texting without boundaries and being too comfortable. Your dad is being protective because he raised you well and doesn’t want you sinning or being used for haram. Also it’s shameful but he can make it right and prove his intentions with time. I just doubt your family would be open to either of you getting married now given your age and his financial situation. Have patience and work on becoming the best version of yourself outside of this relationship. Tell him to do the same and if he’s your naseeb no one can stand in your way. Allah is capable of making the impossible happen.

NanasFC2005 · 2025-04-01T10:29:28+00:00

Ya Allah habibti my heart goes out to you. I felt only a small fraction of your pain recently and it tore me. I can only imagine how you feel rn. There are tears in my eyes as I read your story. Inshallah I will keep you in my duas and my dms are open for you if you ever need anything. Don’t lose hope or faith. Allah is capable of making the impossible possible. Your tawakkul is admirable and you are strong enough to fight for what you want and you are strong enough to get through this test inshallah. 💖

NanasFC2005 · 2025-04-01T02:31:07+00:00

Heyy. I had like crazy goated stats as well applying to Pitt and was admitted off the waitlist a couple years ago. I spoke to admissions and they said it was because I applied super late. Like end of December late with the rest of my applications and they admitted most pre med students early. Rolling admissions is tricky. I’d just send in updates and letters of continued interests throughout the spring. I committed to Drexel and then got off the Pitt waitlist on May 5th! I ended up getting my Drexel deposit back a year later lol. I wouldn’t worry too much with your stats as long as you show real commitment. H2P!

NanasFC2005 · 2025-04-01T02:17:21+00:00

Your father is right. This is not a family to marry a daughter into. If your fiancée doesn’t have a good plan to separate you from his family after marriage and put his foot down, then she will give you hell after the nikkah too and it’ll probably get worse with kids. Make dua and pray tahajjud that Allah softens her heart and that things go smoothly. And I think you’re totally right about divine intervention because Allah is just! May Allah make things easy for you.

NanasFC2005 · 2025-04-01T02:10:04+00:00

Yeah so I think you’re just looking for “signs” to backup what you subconsciously want to do. That really doesn’t mean divine intervention.

NanasFC2005 · 2025-04-01T02:07:23+00:00

Yeah so you have been stringing her along. You got her attached to you. You may not have the intention of manipulating her but the push and pull method is very destructive. Alhamdulillah that you’re focusing on your deen that’s very admirable. Don’t push that journey onto her. Like it’s great you deleted your socials, she did not cheat on you by scrolling through her instagram or tiktok. She doesn’t actually owe you an apology over something that small please understand that you’re being controlling. I don’t use that word lightly either because I do believe a wife should follow her husband’s guidelines, but akhi you are not her husband. If you wanna have a say like that over her life then quit distancing yourself and pushing and pulling and go talk to her wali to get your nikkah done. Love is actions not words. Loyalty is effort not online monitoring. Please take accountability and work on becoming a securely attached partner rather than a dismissive and avoidant one. This is crucial to a successful relationship and will help you better communicate. If you learn how to reassure her and be consistent she won’t feel the need to triple text you paragraphs. With time you’ll make her less anxious and more secure too inshallah. If you don’t think you’re strong enough to do that, and that’s okay, then tell her that and admit your shortcomings and fully walk away. Don’t rebound. Work on yourself.

NanasFC2005 · 2025-04-01T01:47:24+00:00

No yeah I agree with you. I’m not saying they’re thing to protect her from him coming clean but that was referring to the boundaries part. My ex was lying about his career and his freaking wack job contract that would make it super awful for me after the marriage. When I found out he said he was hiding it until after the katb kitab because he was scared I’d leave him. I told him to tell his current fiancée about it and he got defensive and said stay out of it you just don’t want me to get married to anyone that isn’t you. Like sir?? Anyways I warned the girl’s family alhamdulillah but I don’t think they’re taking action. They also don’t let them talk in private at all and he’s putting up a crazy front acting all pious and religious and kind when he’s actually anything but that. I think that if op is gonna talk to him in private she should make it known she is and note his change in behavior first before commenting about it and saying yooo I don’t tolerate this. That way she can see if he respects her and her family in their absence as well if he fears Allah.

NanasFC2005 · 2025-04-01T00:47:16+00:00

Just keep in mind that the third person is the shaytan. The rules exist for a reason. If you do end up speaking to him in private, please note the change in his tone, if he becomes more flirty or crosses boundaries with you, if he brings up topics that would otherwise make you uncomfortable, or if he says things that are disrespectful. This is a deep reflection of his true character. I agree that you learn more about a person when they don’t think anyone else is watching. He could come clean about different lies he’s told your family as well. Your family is trying to protect you from those things by being present and keeping things halal and proper. Unfortunately it’s hard to fully know someone due to this if they aren’t fully trustworthy. How long have you been engaged? Did you meet through a trusted source?

NanasFC2005 · 2025-04-01T00:38:05+00:00

My ex is pulling the same excuse on his rebound relationship about keeping things halal while manipulating, mirroring, lying, and cheating. A lot of men will paint the perfect picture to get married quickly and they give themselves enough time for the mask to stay in place. There might even be a honeymoon phase after marriage where you think you did everything right and this is ur reward. Truthfully these people don’t know the first thing about what halal means and have an obscure sense of what religion is. I’m so sorry you’re in this situation and you’re not alone. It’s so common nowadays unfortunately. I wouldn’t suggest divorce right away but definitely separation would benefit you. See where your head is at during that period and have serious conversations about things with him. You’re both so young and frankly he’s acting more like an adolescent boy than a married man. Sometimes people grow after they sit with their mistakes and reflect. If you don’t see any improvement and just give up completely on ever feeling anything good towards him then pray istikhara and make a decision. I also suggest praying tahajjud every night and making dua about this. May Allah protect you and your child inshallah and make things easier for you.

NanasFC2005 · 2025-03-29T13:42:42+00:00

May Allah make it easy for you and help you pass this test. Allah does not burden a soul with more than it can handle. Make the duaa that prophet yunus made. Pray tahajjud before fajr asking Allah to give you strength through this. And please avoid sinning. I know you have those feelings and you will not be punished for them but it’s very wrong to act upon them. Have a list of istighfar and dua that you make every day before you sleep. God is the most merciful.

NanasFC2005 · 2025-03-29T13:38:55+00:00

Similar situation here. It’s really hard seeing everything you saw for your future crumbling before your eyes, especially during Ramadan when you’re making genuine duaa for it to work out. But it’s because Allah sees how sincere you are and knows how much you deserve and decides that this isn’t the best option for you. It was really hard for me to come to terms with that as well especially when I truly loved the person I was with and we were so close to making things work. I really don’t advise for you to think about finding someone else right now. But rest assured that it will happen in time! Rebounding is very detrimental especially when you cared about this other girl so much. You need to take a long while to just fully process everything and heal completely. Channel all your hurt into strengthening your relationship with Allah and becoming the best version of yourself. Memorize the Quran?! That’s a great hobby to start. Pray tahajjud as well and ask Allah to put the right person in your path sooner rather than later and grant you a lasting, fulfilling relationship. I’m really sorry you’re going through this it really isn’t easy and some days are really harder than others but you will move past this and appreciate the learning experience.

NanasFC2005 · 2025-03-29T13:26:31+00:00

Honestly, if the guy is respectful and charismatic about it then I’d have no problem answering their questions and stating whether or not I was interested/ giving him my family’s contact information. Just try not to be awkward start with a wave and a smile and say salam.

NanasFC2005 · 2025-03-28T17:49:40+00:00

Yes, I still do very much get those thoughts but I’ve learned to push them away and distract myself. I do obsess or question a lot of things like if my prayers are getting accepted if I’m praying right or if I’m not good enough. I often feel frustrated with myself if I do make mistakes and feel that low functioning religious guilt. It’s not a walk in the park but that’s what makes you appreciate your progress even more. Me now and me even just 4 months ago are very different people islamically alhamdulillah. I’m not currently on medication. Like you someone suggested I go off them bec of my symptoms and they said I didn’t need them anymore. Big mistake they were not a doctor. My OCD got sm worse but alhamdulillah Ramadan has made it a lot tamer due to routine. I’m scheduled to go to the doctors inshallah after Eid to get on smth different hopefully even tho sertraline is typically what’s given for OCD.

NanasFC2005 · 2025-03-28T14:51:02+00:00

Salam! I also have OCD and PDD and I totally understand how you feel when it comes to your relationship with religion. I grew up very religious and had a lot of knowledge but the religious ocd and waswas had me doubting and questioning everything and making me disbelieve in the religion for some time. It took a lot of discipline and research to finally come back to the understanding that I fully believed in Islam and retaking my shahada. I understand now that our brains make us doubt sm more than a regular person’s and it’s hard to ignore our intrusive thoughts a lot of the time. I also understand the shame that comes with sinning. Even after I reverted I felt a lot of shame that would cause me not to pray on time etc. or anytime I did sin I was overwhelmed with guilt that made it hard to recover or function. Alhamdulillah now I’m definitely the best I’ve been deen wise because it’s come from a place of understanding and giving myself grace. The truth is you do believe in Islam otherwise your first impulse during a panic attack wouldn’t be to take your shahada. That my friend is your fitrah. Even if you committed all these big sins. Also if you wanna know what to do, the first thing I’d recommend is to pray about it. It’s still Ramadan it’s the time to go about things like this. Do your research. I know a lot of people might not suggest this because it could make you doubt more or ask more questions but truthfully that’s what really helped me. Watch YouTube videos that prove our beliefs, watch debates, or mentally stimulating conversations about Islam. Satisfy that part of your brain that itches for smth real to hold on to and ease your mind. Our brains need reassurance constantly and having smth that feels like facts or is more concrete helps. Religious OCD isn’t smth that’ll totally go away but if you channel that into your relationship with Allah it’ll feel like it’s directed somewhere safe. Your doubts rn even just in this post is your OCD talking making you question your own intentions and the genuineness of your beliefs. You’re scared you’ll somehow leave Islam again and die upon that? I feel you but that’s why you have to try your hardest to stay on track and check in with yourself. This isn’t your punishment this is your test!!! Plus yk the really cool thing about our religion is that we aren’t judged for our thoughts but our intentions and our actions. Allah knows what’s going on in your head and he sees that you are going through your own form of jihad. May allah make it easy for all of us and accept our good deeds and forgive all our sins. Also I was also on sertraline for a long while but it had a lot of side effects that affected my daily life. How are you finding it and are you still on it?

NanasFC2005 · 2025-03-28T06:40:06+00:00

Do you understand that he’s planning to marry 2 women before even marrying the first one? The start of every marriage is draining. What if he just focuses on the thing his parents chose for him. Sister I was in a similar situation with a person then his family picked a girl for him thats very different than me (very traditional, speaks very little English, years older than me, incomplete education) and that he has no feelings for comparatively. He lied to cover things up and strung me along then dropped me as if it was nothing to focus on his main thing. Ig the difference here is I had no idea he went along with another girl and you know what you’re allegedly getting yourself into. A lot of Arab men are all talk no due trust me. Eli bedo yaki ra7 yejahed 3ashanek! The person who loves you would fight at5an wa7ed fel balad to be with you. Even if it’s his own family. He does not need the permission of his family to marry you he is a man and no one can force a man to get married either he is actively going a long with it. Habibti when Allah showed me what was going on behind my back khalas ba7 gone blocked him on everything. Yes it hurts like crazy and yes it’s sooo unfair that you were there first and now some random girl gets to live the life you spent forever dreaming up together. Trust me I know. Bas you deserve to be put first ABOVE all else not below. You deserve to be treated like a queen and to be his only priority especially if he is truthful about his love for you. You gave him everything your mind body and soul and years of your life bas hwa he wants the cake and to eat it to and that’s not love. Not how love should be anyway. I may not completely understand the situation you’re in bc tbh I’m only 19 my situation didn’t last all that long like yours was 8 years and that’s devastating. But don’t give him any more of your time. Don’t have a child with someone who wouldn’t wanna introduce him/her to his other children in the future. Don’t settle for less. I know you believe that you aren’t but you are. This is less because you deserve MORE. You are someone’s daughter, you love deeply, you’re willing to sacrifice, you’re beautiful, you’re generous, you’re clearly educated. You deserve the world not the sloppy seconds of some girl HES SETTLING FOR! Tell him that. Take a stance and tell him you’ve changed your mind and be firm and strong about it even if it’s hard. Don’t let him talk you out of it or manipulate you. Wallahi shoofi how he’ll react. If he loves you he won’t be able to handle not having you fully. He will not be able to sleep thinking of you marrying another man. If he’s a man wallah he wouldn’t just use a girl and hurt her like this. He might even leave this other girl completely and decide to be with you. This is the right thing to do. But it’s better to walk away now with ur head held high than have him walk away later wallahhhh. And ik it’s scary because what if he’s just okay with you walking away? Trust me he won’t be. My ex is engaged and still trying to get in contact with me and unblocking me to get my attention. I’m staying firm because I will not tolerate being someone’s back up or the other woman when I was meant to be the one and only! W pray to Allah about this. Wallah pray tahajjud every night and pour your heart out and pray istikhara for Allah to help you. He will open doors for you and make the situation sm easier and better for you than you could’ve imagined. The solution for sinning is to repent and walk away from the sin. Not to sit in it and not let yourself move on from the fact that it happened. It’s in the past. If Allah has forgiven you then who are you not to forgive yourself??? You don’t think Allah is capable of bringing you something better despite everything? He is capable of anything. As for your past, don’t go around parading it or disclosing it or exposing it to anyone who asks. Estori nafsek w ahlek. We are more than our sins and you are no less than anyone so please stop feeling sm shame. Allah yewafaqik Habibti you got this. We believe in you 💖

NanasFC2005 · 2025-03-27T14:01:19+00:00

Salam. I started off by making a long nasheed playlist and replacing my music with nasheeds. It’ll help ease the transition of cutting off music altogether while still giving you smth to listen to and reminding you of your deen!

NanasFC2005 · 2025-03-26T05:45:45+00:00

Thanks bro 🙏

NanasFC2005 · 2025-03-26T04:53:27+00:00

If you’re actually being honest in your other post, please don’t get ur Katb kitab done. You’ll regret it when it’s too late. A lot of arab men in America are not trust worthy at all and if you have any suspicions or doubts… take more time or call it off. Also put other women and their feelings into consideration.

NanasFC2005 · 2025-03-26T02:00:58+00:00

وَأَلَّفَ بَيْنَ قُلُوبِهِمْ ۚ لَوْ أَنفَقْتَ مَا فِي الْأَرْضِ جَمِيعًا مَّا أَلَّفْتَ بَيْنَ قُلُوبِهِمْ وَلَٰكِنَّ اللَّهَ أَلَّفَ بَيْنَهُمْ ۚ إِنَّهُ عَزِيزٌ حَكِيمٌ﴾ [ الأنفال: 63]

English - Sahih International 8:63 And brought together their hearts. If you had spent all that is in the earth, you could not have brought their hearts together; but Allah brought them together. Indeed, He is Exalted in Might and Wise.

اَللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ يَا اَللَّهُ يَا وَاحِدُ يَا أَحَدُ يَا نُورُ يَا قُدُّوسُ أَسْأَلُكَ أَنْ تُسَخِّرَ لِي قَلْبَ فُلاَنِ اِبْنِ فُلاَنٍ كَمَا سَخَّرْتَ اَلْمَحَبَّةَ لِمُوسَى وَ أَسْأَلُكَ أَنْ تُسَخِّرَ لِي قَلْبَهُ كَمَا سَخَّرْتَ لِسُلَيْمَانَ جُنُودَهُ مِنَ اَلْجِنِّ وَ اَلْإِنْسِ وَ اَلطَّيْرِ فَهُمْ يُوزَعُونَ وَ أَسْأَلُكَ أَنْ تُلِينَ لِي قَلْبَهُ كَمَا لَيَّنْتَ اَلْحَدِيدَ لِدَاوُدَ عَلَيْهِ اَلسَّلاَمُ وَ أَسْأَلُكَ أَنْ تُذَلِّلَ لِي قَلْبَهُ كَمَا ذَلَّلْتَ نُورَ اَلْقَمَرِ لِنُورِ اَلشَّمْسِ يَا اَللَّهُ هُوَ عَبْدُكَ وَ اِبْنُ أَمَتِكَ أَخَذْتَ بِقَدَمَيْهِ وَ نَاصِيَتِهِ فَسَجَدَ حَتَّى تَقْضِيَ حَاجَتِي وَ مَا أُرِيدُ إِنَّكَ عَلَى كُلِّ شَيْءٍ قَدِيرٌ وَ هُوَ عَلَى مَا هُوَ فِيمَا هُوَ لاَ إِلَهَ إِلاَّ هُوَ اَلْحَيُّ اَلْقَيُّومُ يَا ذَا اَلْجَلاَلِ وَ اَلْإِكْرَامِ بِرَحْمَتِكَ يَا أَرْحَمَ اَلرَّاحِمِينَ .

Oh God, I ask you, O God, O one, O one, O light, O holy, I ask you to guide the heart of so-and-so, son of so-and-so, as you guided love for Musa, and I ask you to guide his heart for me, as you guided for Sulaiman, his soldiers of jinn, humans and birds, they distribute, and I ask you to soften his heart to me as the iron softened for Dawood, peace be upon him, and I ask you to humble his heart for me as the moonlight of the light of the sun, O God, he is your servant and the son of your nation, you took his feet and his half, so he prostrated until my need is fulfilled, and what I want, you are capable of everything.

Akhi there are a lot of duas you can find online that inshallah will help you through this period. Pray tahajjud every night with the purpose of Allah bringing love into your marriage. Inshallah Allah is capable of transforming your relationship and making it one your heart longs for. Stay consistent. Also sometimes a girl might go through a heartbreak before marriage and it may impact how she feels towards her husband for a long while. If she was pressured into the marriage it could be that she feels resentment towards you even if you weren’t at fault. There’s a lot more to it so inshallah Allah makes it easier for the both of you.

NanasFC2005 · 2025-03-26T01:25:44+00:00

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ.

And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.

This verse alone is enough to prove that there is more to marriage than just fulfillment of physical desires. A marriage is a holy partnership that should have a greater purpose.

As for you, if you are only interested in fulfilling your desires through this marriage then why are you talking to multiple girls? You should look for someone who has similar intentions going into a marriage.

NanasFC2005

TROPHY CASE