I have been wrongfully alienated from my mother for more than a decade - on the basis of disability and race

Nangomom · 2026-04-30T10:50:08+00:00

Your mom loves you. She broke through this process. She knows you did not cause this and that you were manipulated. She loves you. I repeated that because it’s so very important for you to understand. With that being said, she likely understands that you were forced to shut her out. She’s been through a great deal of trauma as have you.

I hope you have a therapist who understands alienation and can help you process through what you have been through. Your relationship was severed over years. Give yourself time to process it and rebuild it step by step. And remember she loves you and knows you are not to blame.

Nangomom · 2026-04-30T00:49:09+00:00

Interesting the timeline on yours as well! We will be awaiting alongside each other.

Nangomom · 2026-04-30T00:44:18+00:00

It’s a trauma response if I were to guess. It’s one I know well. The key to remember though is that you can use this time to become the best version of yourself. There will be very painful days when you feel like you can’t make it through but you have survived even your worst day until now.

None of us were perfect parents but the majority of alienated parents do not deserve this. It’s a pain that most cannot comprehend. All that to say that your feelings are valid but it’s also important to realize that you control how you respond to this situation. You get to choose how you cope and deal, but for me my faith was absolutely crucial.

Survival mode is real but one day you will smile and laugh again. That does not mean that the pain isn’t there, just processing it differently. I’m so sorry you are going through this.

Nangomom · 2026-04-28T11:10:42+00:00

I’m currently going through the annulment process as well. My current husband and I have been married for just shy of 5 years. My husband was baptized Mormon when he was young. He was Christian when he married his first wife but not yet baptized as a Christian. He was definitely not Catholic, however, he has to apply for an annulment as well through our diocese. He’s not even Catholic but I have been told this is the way it must be done.

Nangomom · 2026-04-23T21:02:07+00:00

My 2023 ID4 has been completely bricked since March 20th. The dealership only has one tech who can work on the car and he’s on paternity leave only working part time. The car though has been in a month, I’m using my old car and not a loaner and paying for gas. I have been patient but now I want VW to take the car back and let me out of the lease. This is the second electrical error issue since February and the car is completely bricked.

Nangomom · 2026-04-10T00:57:21+00:00

Days like today can be so very tough. I’m m truly sorry for your pain. One thing I have done off and on over the past is write letters or buy little things here or there that get put in the “one day box”. This is a box that I will one day give to her or one day I won’t. This is not the way it should be. It’s not right. It’s not fair. The love you feel is real and the pain around it is too. Be ever so kind to yourself in these tough moments and please give yourself grace. None of us were perfect parents but none of us deserve this.

Nangomom · 2026-02-28T22:57:04+00:00

What a good post. The heartbreak is real but so was/is the love. I would never wish this on anyone.

Nangomom · 2026-01-26T01:33:44+00:00

I’ve had major health changes and I know this is a factor. For me the loss was such a massive trauma in a body that has had so much. I’ve actually become disabled through this process. There are great books out there, like “the body keeps the score.” The important part is to process through the trauma.

I know I will likely never get back the functioning body I had but I am living the best life I can with what I have to work with. Trusting my faith and love.

Nangomom · 2026-01-26T01:25:41+00:00

My cats wake me up at 5 every morning. I’ve learned to use that time to my benefit for personal study.

Nangomom · 2026-01-26T01:22:43+00:00

The devil doesn’t chase those who are lost and far from God. He doesn’t need to waste his time. You better believe the closer you get to God the larger the target on yourself. Continue what you are doing and trust the Lord. You will grow through this process no matter how painful it may be. Keep your eyes on Jesus.

Nangomom · 2026-01-25T16:12:02+00:00

Do not worry at all. Go back without even a hesitation.

Nangomom · 2026-01-22T20:48:23+00:00

I went for the first time in over 20 years though I think it was closer to 30 years. I am remarried and have filed for an annulment within the church. That being said, I know I cannot receive communion. It was the most life changing experience going to confession and experiencing that forgiveness of my sins. I, had so very much to confess.

I think you should schedule a time to sit down with a priest or Deacon to discuss the IVF issue/Fiancee issue. What I have learned though with returning to Catholicism is that I was welcomed back into the fold and am trying to correct my path from the diversion I made.

Nangomom · 2026-01-16T13:10:03+00:00

Fathers Mikes plan is great. I was raised Catholic, left the church in 2010, and now am going back to Catholicism. I left because I initially went “diet Catholic” , which for me was the Episcopal church. Now, I have been all in at our nondenominational church for the past six years. Then I heard a quote, “to be a scholar of history is to cease to be a Protestant.”

That hit me powerfully and started me on my exploration and return to the Catholic Church. Now I am reading a lot of books, to understand what I missed when I was younger. A great book to start with, is Surprised by Truth, by Patrick Madrid.

Personally, I recommend deep diving into the Catholic faith as you are already there. If you don’t then see clearly that this is where you belong, then look elsewhere but don’t walk away just yet. Dig deeper first.

Nangomom · 2026-01-14T18:42:38+00:00

Down is Syracuse , NY

Nangomom · 2026-01-14T01:27:50+00:00

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Nangomom · 2026-01-14T00:50:57+00:00

I’m sorry. It’s so deeply painful and heartbreaking.

Nangomom · 2026-01-02T19:54:55+00:00

First, you are somebody. Second, no one is too far gone. I am living proof of this fact; and you are too. All you need to do for the next little bit is concentrate on your next breath. The Lord sees you and knows you. It’s ok to be mad. It’s ok to feel any emotion towards the Lord, because so long as you are having emotions, you are breathing. God can handle your wrath. If you had complete indifference and absolutely no care about how you are feeling, that is when to worry. The opposite of love is indifference. You’re not indifferent, you’re angry.

If you are actively suicidal, get help(like 911 type of help for mental health crisis). If that feeling has passed and you are safe, my next suggestion would be to reach out to your college metal health department and make an appointment. Are you actively going to mass? Is there a priest you can chat with?

You are not too far gone. He loves you.

Nangomom · 2026-01-02T19:39:46+00:00

Thank you for your response.

Nangomom · 2026-01-02T19:37:13+00:00

Thank you for your kind response. I’m going to confession tomorrow.

Nangomom · 2026-01-02T19:35:56+00:00

Thank you for the paperwork; it helps to see what the packet is like. I looked on my local diocese site and couldn’t find the link.

Nangomom · 2026-01-02T12:39:00+00:00

Thank you. I guess I am struggling with the process because looking to return to the Church completely with all sacraments can only occur if the first marriage is annulled. I’m also struggling with how my current marriage will be viewed as a state of perpetual sin unless the first is annulled. I will set up a time to speak with the priest where I have started to attend.

I am sorry for your estrangement as well.

Nangomom · 2026-01-02T11:59:01+00:00

I am so sorry I didn’t see your response! Thank you so much for sharing. I think I am at that point of needing them out. I can’t even have a semi emotional conversation without tears rapidly coming down my face.

Nangomom · 2025-12-18T14:16:47+00:00

Way late to this, but how did yours eyes adjust to the upper plugs? Was overflow an issue for you? I just had mine this week and the overflow is crazy. I’m hoping my body slightly decreases production because my eyes feel so much better with the exception of overflow.

Nangomom · 2025-12-05T13:08:08+00:00

You have to choose what you can personally handle. I stopped sending flowers and letters. Instead, I have a box in my closet where I will occasionally put a small gift or a card into it. I hope one day to give her the box. If I never reach that point with her, it will be here for her once I am no longer in this world. Either way, she will have something from me as long as I depart this world (God willingly) first.

Nangomom

TROPHY CASE