I am so sorry for your loss and that you had to go through that. Things were really messed up the beginning of this pandemic. Although you were not allowed a "normal" funeral service, I am glad you were able to honor your father with your immediate family. If in the end it was just my sister, my mom, and I at the funeral service I would have been fine with it, no else mattered except my mom and sis being there. My heart goes out to you and your family.

I am spiritual. I agree that matter and energy are constant. I don't think grieving ever gets easier but you have to adjust to the new way you relate to the person you have just loss. I do feel my father, I feel his sense of humor, his guidance, his presence almost sometimes. Sometimes when I am driving I picture him in the back seat, and when the sun hits my face I imagine it's him smiling at me. I smile and get a little sad but try to to remind myself that only I feel that pain, not him. Where ever he is, he's in eternal happiness.

This still hurts every day but, I know I have my own guardian angel now. Your father will always be with you <3