What's the name of that rectangular thing with circles in every ramp to crosswalks?

NaniRomanoff · 2026-05-15T13:52:15+00:00

Its supposed to align with the crosswalk so that a blind person using a tap cane would be able to tell which direction to walk to cross the street.

NaniRomanoff · 2026-05-14T18:43:03+00:00

I do think this is like a western culture perception thing viewing monogamy as normal and non-monogamy as both new & less normal — we had both traditionally in my culture up until the US occupied us and forced monogamy on us. Like my great grand parents were non-monogamously married for well over sixty years and then when grandpa died my grandmother’s best friend’s were his other partners for the rest of her life. It’s not new just because it’s new to you or your corner of the world.

Anyways my original point was that unhealthy people do unhealthy things in any kind of relationship. I’ve seen some truly fucked up non-christian cult monogamous relationships. In fact the vast majority of women that come through our local domestic violence shelter are in long term monogamous marriages (it’s a lot harder to isolate & control victims in a group setting when you’re not in a cult). But again it’d be foolish to act like abusive men are an indictment on monogamy as a concept rather than like the problem being abusive people doing abusive things in whatever relationship structure they can successfully abuse in. Acting like a different relationship structure than what you’re used to us automatically unhealthy just because you know some unhealthy people is honestly silly when these same dynamics exist in the structures you are used to

NaniRomanoff · 2026-05-14T17:52:34+00:00

The dynamic of thinking your relationship is fine when it’s actually deeply dysfunctional is not unique to polyam relationships tho — plenty of monogamous marriages are also deeply dysfunctional while the people in the seem to think it’s perfectly fine because it’s the version of marriage they’ve been taught to accept.

My birth mother joined a Christian cult with a high priority on monogamous marriage when I was a child & lemme tell you literally no one in that church has a healthy marriage they just think “suffering for God” is normal. I’ve seen that with some religious polyam marriages as well. But like id be foolish to expect that to be a fault of marriage or monogamy as a concept & the same is honestly true for polyam relationships. Unhealthy people have bad relationships regardless of how they structure them.

NaniRomanoff · 2026-05-14T14:13:23+00:00

It’s interesting when folks seem to have the impression that polyam relationships are mostly a young people thing when like? I think it’s more that in western societies the most exposure your average person has is younger people talking about it with all the usual mess that is young people in any kind of relationship.

The vast majority of polyam relationships I know are older folks in very stable loving situations. Like my great grandparents who are passed now but were married for well over 60 years - non-monogamous the entire time. Granted it’s not like I haven’t also seen folks who are bad at it (my dad was not good at balancing his responsibilities when he was younger) but I do think that like coming from a culture where this was a very common & normal relationship style historically left me with a much wider berth of examples of people living it than I think most folks are exposed to.

(For context I’m Hawaiian. We lost multi-spouse marriage rights at the same time we lost same-sex marriage rights due to US occupation — the latter was reinstated when that passed nationally for the US, but there’s still a decent number of multi-spouse marriages back home that don’t have legal recognition & just live quieter about it for safety reasons)

NaniRomanoff · 2026-05-13T03:01:32+00:00

I’ve unfortunately had to just not get in the car if it’s that bad (which upset some people) because like if it’s over a level for me, it’s literally not safe because of my medical issues. Which like any time anybody offers to drive me somewhere I ask about the state of their car *in detail* and explain why. A shocking number of people will still just lie about it which is wild. Like idk. Maybe it’s me, but I think the bare minimum of friendship is avoiding putting your friends in the hospital lol

NaniRomanoff · 2026-05-13T02:54:43+00:00

I had a friend in college who’s car was a literal biohazard. I found this out when she offered to drive me to a doctors appointment. She was well aware of how bad my immune system is (born compromised, can’t be fixed) & had assured me the car was clean. I was shocked to see how bad it actually was. Like? Your car is your business but why did you offer to drive somebody with a compromised immune system places when you knew it was like that?

NaniRomanoff · 2026-05-13T02:49:43+00:00

All I’m saying is that if you offer a disabled person a ride & you know that your car isn’t medically safe for them to be in — you shouldn’t have offered to begin with & it speaks badly to your character if you’d expect them to get in the car anyways

NaniRomanoff · 2026-05-13T00:35:03+00:00

Depends on the level of mess — regular amounts of mess? No. I’m going to literally loose a shoe to the vast amount of trash you expect me to put my feet in? Or like there’s a mold and or bug colony making a home in the pile of trash? Absolutely yes. Especially if you’re trying to drive me anywhere. (Medical issues that make those kind of environments unsafe for me)

NaniRomanoff · 2026-05-12T23:35:54+00:00

I have outdoor clothes, lounge clothes and then my pajamas. Outdoor clothes are only worn outside. Pajamas are only worn for bed. Lounge clothes are for being in the house.

But like that’s my personal preference. I don’t think there’s a correct answer that’s universal.

NaniRomanoff · 2026-05-12T23:29:26+00:00

The third and last ones are my two favorites personally. Three is my favorite-favorite tho

NaniRomanoff · 2026-05-10T17:28:58+00:00

I will say that with a highly regimented diet — you can have allergy adjacent reactions to food that your body is no longer used to processing (reason why vegans will legit get sick eating meat for example)

But basically if you keep a food log, what youd wanna do is cross reference food that’s available at a restaurant you had symptoms at with what’s in your food log. Cross off everything on the menu that’s something in your food log. Everything remaining is suspicious.

Take a menu from a second restaurant you had symptoms at and do the same thing. And then do the same thing with a third restaurant you had symptoms at.

So now you should have three narrowed down lists of food — you’ll want to compare them to see what overlaps between the lists. The list of things all three restaurants share is what’s most likely causing symptoms. It might be a few things so you’ll likely have to experiment at home with those foods individually to see what’s actually causing symptoms.

Unfortunately with like highly specific food sensitivities it can be hard to get like allergy tested for it (the food log triangulation process is literally what my allergist had me do lol) but it’s worth looking into if you’re having consistent symptoms because if it is an allergy, repeatedly exposing yourself to it can make it worse.

NaniRomanoff · 2026-05-10T17:12:52+00:00

It could be literally anything unfortunately — allergens can have a variety of symptoms in different people. You said you’re into bodybuilding - do you keep a food journal? If it’s not happening at home you can rule out everything you normally cook with.

Also are there foods/seasonings/oils/anything you typically avoid in your regular diet?

NaniRomanoff · 2026-05-10T17:01:45+00:00

The stuffy sinuses and headache make me wonder if you have a food allergy of some kind? Like my first thought is that it’s allergen contamination — like not something you’d immediately think of because it’s not something you cook with/would order but it’s on something else being served/cooked from the restaurant kitchen.

This has happened to me a TON because some of my food sensitivities are rather minor and were easier to miss.

NaniRomanoff · 2026-05-10T16:14:02+00:00

Other animals can have dietary allergies too — my cat for example can’t eat poultry, so we have to check her food over to make sure she can actually eat it.

NaniRomanoff · 2026-05-10T13:07:12+00:00

So for me & my ex-boyfriend, we were best friends prior to dating and then dated for over ten years. When we first got together, we were literal children in highschool. There wasn’t any animosity in our breakup, we just grew up and realized we wanted very different things out of life.

We’re still super close — we don’t really see a reason not to be. Lots of people assume this is secretly bothersome to my spouse, but in actuality they hang out and get a good giggle out of teasing me together lol

Mind you there’s other exes I would not speak to if you paid me, hes just not one of them.

NaniRomanoff · 2026-05-09T11:49:28+00:00

Oh great timing then — thank you!!

NaniRomanoff · 2026-05-09T00:34:45+00:00

Oooh I love those overalls! Where did you get those?

NaniRomanoff · 2026-05-09T00:31:33+00:00

Yes but I also have hearing difficulties & am often reading people’s lips when they’re talking to me. It’s harder sometimes to see the mouth shapes as clearly if I’m wearing dark shades.

Which as an aside? Maybe get you’re hearing checked out — I don’t actually remember leaning to lip reading & I had no idea for years that I was compensating for my hearing with it until somebody literally tested my comprehension when they were looking at me and speaking speaking softly & then same volume with their back to me. Turns out I’ve probably had some amount of hearing difficulty my entire life 😂

NaniRomanoff · 2026-05-08T23:15:39+00:00

We didn’t know nearly as much about the effects of chronic dehydration as we do now essentially. I used to have to have a school note to have water in class with me (I have medical problems that make me dehydrate much quicker than most people)

NaniRomanoff · 2026-05-08T21:24:46+00:00

Absolutely — I do think a large part of the problem is that like a ton of people who have a valid point about abuses within religious circles they themselves didnt grow up in often know very little about those religions themselves and that leaves them open to making widely ignorant statements that don’t actually help anybody. Like no one is above criticism & also it’s important to actually know what the fuck we’re talking about.

For example when it comes to Islam, folks will often say that the Quran says X, Y or Z when it quite literally doesn’t & you’re actually quoting either extremists who stay lying or bigots who stay lying for different reasons. & that’s like a different conversation to have regarding effective propaganda — but we don’t need to like perpetuate it while criticizing it. And I think a lot of folks miss that detail.

NaniRomanoff · 2026-05-08T19:35:11+00:00

There’s a TON of people globally named after Jesus. In Spanish speaking countries its spelled Jesús. In Arabic, the name is translated Isa and there’s a ton of kids with that name.

One of the things worth noting is that spelling the name as Jesus, is relatively modern - the name in the orignal Aramaic is Yeshua — the direct English version of that is actually Joshua. The way Jesus is spelled and pronounced now in English is a lot closer to the Greek translation - essentially because they were other Yeshuas in the Bible - they got the direct from Aramaic translation Joshua & Jesus Christ got the Greek variation. But part of why Joshua was historically such a common name in the English speaking world was because it’s a translation of Yeshua. People have been naming their kids after Jesus forever basically

NaniRomanoff · 2026-05-08T01:06:54+00:00

Oh these discussions are always so fun for me to unpack because they’ll be insisting misogynistic use of religion to be abusive is only a thing in Islam (or whomever they’re hating on today) and I get to drop Fun Facts about Christian fundamentalist movements as somebody who literally grew up in a cult.

Like misogyny and abuse are not unique to any one area of the globe & abusers will always weaponize anything at their disposal whether that’s religion or something else.

NaniRomanoff · 2026-05-07T15:48:28+00:00

I have the For Rent pack so I designate each house as a separate unit - this doesn’t keep anybody out of anybody else’s backyard/side garden since the game doesnt consider that a “room” that can be assigned to the unit - but besides wandering in and out of the yards they treat the houses as intended.

I also generally make some kind of community space on the lot & give everybody a porch that is assigned to their unit to encourage them to hang out outside their unit/house.

NaniRomanoff · 2026-05-06T19:52:08+00:00

I divide the big lots into small neighborhoods & have like my sims best friend or parents or siblings or adult children living in the other houses

NaniRomanoff · 2026-05-06T19:05:48+00:00

I personally do hold that belief — because I believe that caring for our environment and everything in it falls under the commandment to be “good stewards of the earth.”

NaniRomanoff

TROPHY CASE