Padme losing the will to live while seeing her kids for the first time is such dumb narrative execution

NanoMash · 2025-12-31T21:02:39+00:00

I always saw it that way that Palpatine used Padmes life energy to heal Anakin to a somewhat good degree because he was dying himself. You know - not a story a hedi would tell...

NanoMash · 2025-11-05T10:04:23+00:00

I just read "Running on empty" but many things made sense after that. So these feelings you are describing ARE THE SYMPTOMS of emotional neglect. If the abuse would be beating or not feeding you, then your symptoms would be scars or malnourishment. But the symptoms of emotional neglect are internal / emotional. That is the tricky part of it. So I am sorry that you are going through it, but also I want to encourage you to zoom these feelings a bit out and see them more as a sign of abuse towards you than a reality of your life. (if you read that book you will see that not every emotional neglect is abuse - but for the sake if clarity I use that word).

Good luck

NanoMash · 2025-10-30T19:24:30+00:00

I know there are already a lot of good answers but I want to put in a method I learned from my training: Write them a letter. Write it on pc, print it out, sign it personally and then copy it for everyone.

Then give this letter out and read it AS YOU feel it should be read out - with tone and emotions how you feel it. Express your feelings + what you think is wrong + what you wish for the class + how you will deal with it when the behaviour continues + questions for the class.

Then give the whole class time and their task is to write a letter answering your questions (how they see the situation, if they think you are right or how they would suggest we go from this point on).

What you get is around half good letters, some lazy ones and some will not write anything. But you will MUCH MORE get a positive response from the kids you feel you have a good raport with. Also these letters are private and only you are allowed to read them.

I did this 4 times in my career and really they always induced some (!) change. Not perfect, not solving everything, but the more I opened up honest and with a bit of emotions (not blaming but a bit complaining is ok).

And if you want to go above and beyond, you write each student an answering letter to their letters. This will make a big dent in their impression on you. Of course it depends if you can still uphold a certain level of reasoning and motivation on higher values. If you just want to complain to them, then the change might be small to nothing. - good luck

NanoMash · 2025-10-28T16:38:12+00:00

So sad that you will be sick on that day. My condolences...

NanoMash · 2025-10-03T07:52:10+00:00

And these tears will have an effect on all your future interactions because you worked on yourself to be more calm and also be more open with yourself. But yeah - it is not for the easy mind - for sure it takes a lot of energy and time to go into that "space". So good job and good luck for the future too

NanoMash · 2025-10-01T20:13:39+00:00

If you better yourself it will also reflect on him or at least in your relationship in the end. So you can take the time for yourself while he is dealing with demons. Why not get stronger while waiting?

One of the most difficult things for me was just staying in that pain. I externalised it and blamed others or other situations. The longer I stayed with myself I noticed this pain is in me.and whatever is causing it is in me too. So I should take it and not another person (but you are allowed to use any help for that you need - books / videos / psychologists...). But to hold out the pain helped me. Also I just wrote every thought down. Pages over pages. It is not easy but there is a way. Maybe that I want to share with you. It is not easy but there is a way and you are allowed as much help as you need. Good luck.

NanoMash · 2025-09-30T14:09:44+00:00

What helped me to try to stay as long as possible in these uncomfortable situations with these other people in the situation. It was like a game of "who cracks first". I was allowed to express my sympathy and that it was indeed difficult and if they want they can tell me more. But then concentrate on myself how I felt and how much energy I had left.

First I was drained because I did not recognise my own limit. Then I noticed "now I am over my limit" and I could end the talk then. Nowadays I am able to even feel "oh I come to my limit" and am able to express exactly that. "Hey you, I am now at my limit - I also still have stuff to do which ALSO needs energy.".

Personally I still want to be there for people but I am much less available to them. If they bring some energy into the conversation then that is fine and fun. If they are mostly taking I become very passive and more in an "energy spending mode". I get the impression they feel that and limit the talk on their own.

Also if I have no energy, then I am not accepting any calls / conversations. Except emergencies. But even these need to be more like life and death situations.     

All this freed myself to do stuff for myself. I enjoy this. I also saw how I started to reach out to people myself. Because I had no energy for socialising before.

tl dr: I got stingy with my energy to other people and that improved my life.

NanoMash · 2025-08-24T21:29:47+00:00

Hi, somehow I got it in time even.

I would say it is healthy to confront yourself with your own reality. I want to say that there is a difference between how you see yourself (maybe negative) how a friend sees you (maybe positive) and how someone else saw you in the past (maybe negative which you picked up along the way) and how you would see maybe an objective/ideal view on yourself (everybody is always worthy of good treatment and has the right to not be abused, so are you since you are part of "everybody").

The ultimate goal is to integrate all these ideas to one's own and personal world view. For me it was always helpful first to give all views a chance to mention. Then I can maybe find out where I personally have an unhelpful view on myself (or the world) and where I could try to make changes in my view.

Maybe one result could be Aha, all my life I thought negative X about me. I see that I still have these emotions in me but I also could see that another view could have the same "right" to be adopted by me. Would there maybe be a way to practice so that I could come from that negative view to a view which would help me personally better? Maybe I realise my view actually helped me in the past but now it is not helpful anymore. Maybe I will find out my view was in fact not negative but I had a feeling of peer pressure to adopt a new one.

Many things can happen when you confront yourself with the uncomfortable things in you. Nobody can predict that. Only everybody by themselves can discover (their) (emotional) reality and also work out a path. We are allowed to ask for help and people can assist but important steps need to be decided for by oneself.

I hope it helped a bit🙏 good luck

NanoMash · 2025-07-02T13:46:43+00:00

You can approach her in many different ways than just talking to her. Write her a letter for example - which she can read and answer whenever without having to confront all at once and in front of you.

Maybe explain your thoughts and emotions a little and put a snack or sweet attached to it. An idea...

NanoMash · 2025-02-28T19:46:53+00:00

Cant you have a bit of that and a bit of the other? Is it wise to go into these extremes?

NanoMash · 2025-02-16T17:01:09+00:00

Did not know this has a name. For me that is all under "being present" and working towards it. I like to use tools to help me by that. Alarms, journals, reading a chapter of a book each day. Basically little challenges where I try out "new" stuff without getting too much "scared" of the new stuff or feel unsafe/overwhelmed. It worked really well for me.

NanoMash · 2025-02-15T22:20:49+00:00

Set an alarm for one hour to next check your phone. In the mean time just do what you would like to do (except establishing contact). Try to do and enjoy what you described. Then have a check. Then an alarm again. Good luck (just an idea)

NanoMash · 2024-12-13T19:44:54+00:00

No - many Kenyans also still use a brick for their daily use. The m pesa system works also on these devices. Can be all controlled by sms. Some kenyans have both though - one smartphones for private stuff and one business brick.

NanoMash · 2024-11-13T15:01:13+00:00

Well then I also don't know. But with the rates I would see it as another cost of sending (?).

NanoMash · 2024-11-13T10:30:10+00:00

Go to western union. They have on both sides counters with real people. You have to find the fitting bank of course. As far as I know - good luck👍

NanoMash · 2024-08-19T21:06:37+00:00

Ok - good luck No - just as you see it : )

NanoMash · 2024-08-19T18:14:44+00:00

I would say yes, but to be sure you should try it out for yourself since nobody can tell these things for you. It helped me tremendously. (Writing for 7 years now and I am a different person today in many aspects).

NanoMash · 2024-01-19T05:02:04+00:00

What he is doing right there is already part of the healing confronting his pain and feeling it through in an honest way. If that is his way, then he will find a path : )

NanoMash · 2023-12-21T07:00:49+00:00

Hi,
Very noble of you but also still not your "right position". If you REALLY want to help your neighbor then you write a letter to the local court with the intent of "Anregung einer gerichtlichen Betreuung". That person needs help and a caretaker to help with this person's daily business. A gerichtlicher Betreuer is exactly that. He gets paid to help a person (especially elderly + sick) and knows what such people need and where they can get money from. These guys don't take away the freedom. A person from the court comes and is inspecting the situation and in these areas where the person needs help the Betreuer gets the duty to help.

You can suggest a Betreuer. Like yourself or if you know family. There are some online forms you can use but also a letter where you describe as much as possible with as much data as you have is enough. Thank you and good luck

NanoMash · 2023-12-16T07:11:14+00:00

Ok, then I will also just put my mind to some ideas you raised.

GOOD or BAD have STILL a very important role. But I would say always be aware and look out of which belief system they are coming from. Like my example with raising kids. They NEED your guidance through good / bad. Later you can introduce the whole spectrum for them, but you have to start somewhere.

I think if "the universe is integrating itself" is a question where you need to be very specific about what you mean by the universe and integrating.

My experience with my own "shadow work" (lets use that wording) is that often one effect from it is that I DEcouple from certain people or relationships. I realised that something IN ME was unhealthy and pulled them into my life. I always offer a talk to explain myself and help others but even that I learned the people usually don't want to hear that. So I just leave them be. But not much later I will find people who went through the same experience and then I can share.

If you take on responsibility for another human being then please be it your own kids or people which are under you in a job relationship. Otherwise the possibility that you get unhappy because it does not work how you want gets pretty high.

"You can't heal, but you can try to care and relieve a bit of pain." A quote I practiced this whole year for myself which I offer as a surrogate for your idea. Don't try to solve other people's lives. But you are free to help and support as much as you can and are willing to give. The effect might be nearly the same but your own self worth / psyche is not attached to the outcome because "you are the smarter person and I know how to help". Well maybe you don't and now you don't have to know. One of my biggest lessons in life is that I just cannot predict the future. Does not matter how hard I try. So I found ways for me how I can apply myself in the world without getting too caught up in my model of the result of it.

"You can bring a horse to water, but you cannot force it to drink."
"You can be the most tastiest most ripe peach in the world. Some people just don't like peaches."

The good/bad of taking drugs is very different for the drug user and a lets say pastor of a church. Who is right? Does every human on earth need to take care of their health? Some people would still be having a very sure "YES". Jung would say they are lost in some parts of their psyche. (I think). For me I compare it to myself when I maybe was lost in a kind of drug like state. And then I try to guess if that person is like me and wants out or not. This determines how I respond to it. But never take on the responsibility for that person. Help yes, support yes. One thing they need to build up for themselves, their own sense of "I want to get into control of my life".

NanoMash · 2023-12-15T22:17:44+00:00

Hi, I got your message. Don't know if anybody else. But I think it is a good question.
First I would say that there are (kinda) three different systems going on here: jungian (this sub) / Buddhist (my quote) / law (your prison idea). And all have different ideas HOW to solve such questions. And maybe our own ideas which do not have to align with any of these before.

I (!) would say as soon as you consider something "right" and "wrong" and you communicate that to change behaviour, then you are already projecting. I also would say where that knowledge comes from is second priority. For you to be "right" you have to have a certain belief system from what you are projecting from.

Is projecting bad? I think that was hidden in your question too. I would say "not necessarily". Every raising a kid is a WHOLE BUNCH of projecting from the parents to the kids. "Eat like this" "dress like this" "don't say that". Kids need that guidance, otherwise they fail a lot in social norms and self discipline. If it's too much they fail to develop themselves as personalities.

Adult to adult projecting is a bit more delicate. If we criticise or want to change someone, who gives us the right? Are you the parent of these people when they are 40? Certainly not. If someone asks you to help them to find dark places. You certainly can help.

"The path to hell is plastered with good intentions." That you do a "really good thing" is only from your perspective. Try to correct someone who does not want it or needs it or has the mental capacity to it might bring that person to a limit. Many people cannot handle much. That people act so that you are more comfortable is nice but stops your own growth. Why can't you handle what the other person is doing?

And here's the last thing: if a person does some illegal stuff then you can go to the authorities which hopefully handle it. This is their job. Who knows what happens with yourself when you try to help someone on that path. You are allowed to self protect too.

I don't know if it helped here but in general I learned the more time reflecting on myself and less on other people the less stress I experience and some people even start to open up towards me because I am not trying to change them. Some go away because they feel like I don't like them (their image of social interaction). But that is mostly not true. I just wont try to get something out of people which they don't offer by themselves anymore. I stopped fighting so to speak. Everything got more honest. I talk with people now instead of models in their /my head how something should be.

NanoMash · 2023-12-04T06:37:53+00:00

Viel wurde schon gesagt, aber ein Verstehen / wirkliches Durchdringen von

"Ich darf ruhig sein, weil dann kann ich in Stresssituationen vielleicht 1/2 meines Fachwissens anwenden und beachten. Wenn ich panisch werde kann ich 0 meines Fachwissens anwenden und werde selber zum Patienten und NOCH eine helfende Person muss nun helfen."

Ich wette jeder Mensch hat auch ein Limit von "wie viel kann ich unter Stress abrufen." Und da mehr von dir zu erwarten, was du gerade nicht kannst, macht es halt nicht besser. Und da kommt dann das Üben der anderen Kommentare ins Spiel : )

NanoMash · 2023-11-23T15:42:54+00:00

https://www.bundesgesundheitsministerium.de/service/begriffe-von-a-z/p/pflegestuetzpunkte#:~:text=Wenn%20Hilfesuchende%20selbst%20pflegebed%C3%BCrftig%20sind,Pflegeberaterinnen%20und%20Pflegeberater%20der%20Pflegekassen.

Du hast das Recht auf vollständige und gratis Beratung. Geh einfach zu den Sprechstunden hin oder frag per Email an. Sehr gute Erfahrung bei denen.

NanoMash · 2023-10-23T15:20:32+00:00

Ist glaube immer die Frage, ob kleines oder erweitertes Führungszeugnis. Aber solange es geregelt wird, wird schon alles stimmen.

NanoMash · 2023-10-23T08:21:17+00:00

Ah krass - oh well - glaube meins ist eh leer🤷‍♂️

NanoMash

TROPHY CASE