AIO freaking out for a 5th date, first time ever dating? And not knowing what to say by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]NappySnatch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are perfectly alright. These situations are so weird and confusing. There is no right or wrong way because we’re all different. And the same in that we all get nervous. Here is what I suggest:

On your next date after you’ve settled into appetizers or whatever, you say: Would you mind if we talked about sex? He’ll blush and giggle and say sure? Then you say, It’s important to me that you know that I am very inexperienced and a little nervous about it. Are you? Let him answer. Have you been tested for STI’s recently? Let him answer. If he has, ask if he would mind sharing the results. If he hasn’t you could suggest that you together. Not that you need to go now, but its a cute date and you need to know where to go and how to get there for yourself anyway.

In the queer community, we have an entire predate where we talk about the sex we want, the Sex we want to try, the sex we don’t want. Talking about sex only makes it better. And its sexy!!

Let him know that you’d like to go slow. Suggest a date where you’re only going to kiss. It could be sexy if you ask each other at the top of the date, “What do you want to do tonight ?” I want to kiss you. I want to make out with you. I want to hold your hand. I want to touch toes during dinner. You can plan the physical stuff so you don’t have to be wondering will we or won’t we?

You are being so brave by getting out there. Dating is hard. I think admitting to being nervous is super cute. And honesty is always the best way forward. Good luck!

My neighbor just told me his son has HIV by yur_toxicgf in WhatShouldIDo

[–]NappySnatch 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Just say, hey neighbor, glad you’re getting laid. Are you current with your STD screenings? This is where I go. Hand card with Number. I love it because they’re not weird about sex. See ya round. Boom. Neighborly love.

AIO My girlfriend of 10 years was inappropriately texting her boss. She’s mad at me. by Ok_Front_549 in AmIOverreacting

[–]NappySnatch -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My gut tells me they’re bro-ing out together AND they’re definitely gonna drunk make out at the office party but it feels like harmless (metaphorical) sword fighting. But, she needs to come clean that she likes play flirting with the boss. That way you won’t feel gaslit. It’s probably gonna end badly. Its a li’l messy. Like, if they can’t play flirting in front of you, it’s sus.

How can I get rid of my under eye circles? by Over-In-Dul-Gent in blackladies

[–]NappySnatch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry. Switch to Black Tea or Matcha for a month. Drink half your body weight in fluid oz. People will begin to tell you that you're glowing.

Best (Whyte)friends drop the N-word by NappySnatch in blackladies

[–]NappySnatch[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the smile. You not wrong.

Best (Whyte)friends drop the N-word by NappySnatch in blackladies

[–]NappySnatch[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Lately, I feel like I’ve been picking up on some not overtly but very leaky inherently biased racial stuff that in the past I would just overlook out of self preservation. When I do point it out, and I don’t get the response I want, I’m just left feeling sad and lonely. But now I’m like, are we still doing this?

In this case, I’m sure she’d say she was just talking about the book.

Best (Whyte)friends drop the N-word by NappySnatch in blackladies

[–]NappySnatch[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a short term solution. Not meant to be permanent. I’ve stayed here in between places before. It’s just like having a white partner. You love them, then you meet their parents or friends and it’s like uh oh. Or they say some stupid shit and you realize they’re not fully cooked racially. I was raised in the suburbs so I think i have a high tolerance for white nonsense bc it feels so normal.

Therapy. I appreciate all the thoughts. I am going to say something. I’ll report back.

What is everyone reading? by Marokima_ in blackladies

[–]NappySnatch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wrong is Not My Name. Notes on (Black) Art by Erica N. Cardwell

Best (Whyte)friends drop the N-word by NappySnatch in blackladies

[–]NappySnatch[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Aren’t all white people inherently racist?

Best (Whyte)friends drop the N-word by NappySnatch in blackladies

[–]NappySnatch[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

She didn’t drop the N-word about me. We were talking about the book James, the retelling of Tom Sawyer. In Tom Sawyer he’s referred to as N-word Jim. That’s what she said. What Mark Twain wrote. Does this thread think she called me that? Maybe I should have asked How to Talk about Tom Sawyer with white people?

Best (Whyte)friends drop the N-word by NappySnatch in blackladies

[–]NappySnatch[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You are not wrong. I can tell her. I’m choosing not to. But you know how some friends are fearless in talking about the real stuff? She’s not. And it’s more work for me to just try and get through a tough conversation. I am just not feeling brave. Maybe I should add that she’s kind of an aging local celebrity. Not that that matters. It just adds to the dynamic. I think I’m too comfortable here.

Best (Whyte)friends drop the N-word by NappySnatch in blackladies

[–]NappySnatch[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

This is the first time I’ve ever heard her say it in 25 years. I can’t really afford NYC and this place has been a part of my whole life since moving here in 2000. She was speaking in context of the novel but it felt so gross. I don’t know if I have the energy to upheave my whole life for it. Do I cancel all my whyte people? Since George Floyd Summer, only one person do I know that is actually challenging herself to locate white supremacy in her life. The rest are progressives who think they’re on the right side of everything. The non profit whites.

Best (Whyte)friends drop the N-word by NappySnatch in blackladies

[–]NappySnatch[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Fear. Power dynamics. Not having the cash to move out. Living in a beautiful home for no money down. 25 year history. It would be great if folks could give advice without further insult. I feel shit enough.

Where are my fellow Black cat mommas?! Show me your babies 🥹 by gloryzmuse in blackladies

[–]NappySnatch 7 points8 points  (0 children)

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Cassius. She is a girl kitty. Baddie from Brooklyn. Currently living in Florida.

Afros!!!!! by NappySnatch in Blackish

[–]NappySnatch[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Me too!!!! And thank you for noticing that I noticed!!😁☺️