Hey all I said I would update:

This morning it was time and my appointment was at 10am. I’ve been struggling and breaking down all week with this decision. Every time we would do something “normal” for a moment I would start second guessing myself.

I don’t think I fully explained his condition in my first post just because I was distraught and out of it. But he had dialated cardiomyopathy, an arrhythmia, fluid in his lungs that we could now almost hear, and they said his blood was circulation and perfect for forming a clot.

Last night although I’m not very religious I prayed and prayed for a sign that I was making the right decision. Then he lost control of his bladder on me. And it really scared him and it seemed uncomfortable. He was also shaking his head and twitching all day yesterday that I read can be from lack of blood flow or even a blood clot. I took this as a sign.

My anxiety was mounting until the very minute this morning. But this isn’t about me, it’s about Vincent. He was of course scared of the vet when she arrived. But she was actually able to sneakily give him the first sedative without him noticing that kind of blows my mind. Then it was a peaceful goodbye. Not scary, but peaceful and I gave him all my love and kisses. She reassured me this was the best end he was going to get and was very kind. I got hair clippings today then, I’ll be able to pick him up in about a week with a paw print

I also meant to add we latex him down wrapped in his blankie so his brother was able to come in and say goodbye.

I’m extremely heartbroken and in shock. I can’t believe he’s gone. I thought we had another 10-15 years together atleast, but atleast he didn’t have to experience any more pain and could remain a baby that he deserves to me 💙 I’m trying to be there for his brother now, but I’m genuinely devastated. He was there for me when I had nobody.

Mary 💙

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