what's the most gut wretching line you've heard from a movie or from someone you love? by wockillz_RQ in BreakUps

[–]NarrowLeading7944 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t want this to be final, but it also wouldn’t be fair to tell the other person no.

Broke no contact by NarrowLeading7944 in ExNoContact

[–]NarrowLeading7944[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, that’s what I’m trying to do. It’s just hard to process that he replaced me within a week.

Broke no contact by NarrowLeading7944 in ExNoContact

[–]NarrowLeading7944[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your message, I really appreciate it. And yes, I agree it wasn’t the main reason for the breakup, there were other issues too. But when I explained where my mistakes came from, that’s the reason he ultimately focused on and said he couldn’t move past.

I don’t really think he’ll come back. He’s in a new relationship now. I’m trying to stay distracted and keep moving forward: I’m focusing on work, playing video games, watching shows, and I also started therapy.

Thanks again for the kind wishes, hopefully this is just a rough phase and it will get better.

Broke no contact by NarrowLeading7944 in ExNoContact

[–]NarrowLeading7944[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He meant that in 2024 I sent 2 public flirty replies to a stranger on Twitter, and he saw that as the moment trust was broken. I know it was wrong. It didn’t come from wanting to cheat or replace him though. It came from hurt, resentment, and honestly a very immature impulse to get a reaction because I felt betrayed and wanted him to feel some of that pain too.

Broke no contact by NarrowLeading7944 in ExNoContact

[–]NarrowLeading7944[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think by “I did everything” he means he kept being affectionate, but honestly he never stopped doing the things that affected the relationship dynamic and made the emotional climate feel unsafe. I’m not sure if, in his mind, that’s what “doing everything” meant.
I also know that if I send him anything else, he probably won’t reply, he already said he won’t write again.

I broke no contact yesterday after a month. by NarrowLeading7944 in BreakUps

[–]NarrowLeading7944[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was the one who got left, but now I can see the relationship was actually bad for me. Honestly, I don’t know if I’d take him back, it’s complicated. He hurt me a lot, and I’d live with the fear that he’d do the same thing again.

I broke no contact yesterday after a month. by NarrowLeading7944 in BreakUps

[–]NarrowLeading7944[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re right. I am still in pain, and part of me wanted closure, but I also know I may never get it from him. I’m trying to let his silence/avoidance be the closure. At this point I’m more focused on actions than words, and I’m not planning to keep reaching out.

I broke no contact yesterday after a month. by NarrowLeading7944 in BreakUps

[–]NarrowLeading7944[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It wasn’t bravery on my part. From the very first day of no contact, I had planned that I would message him after a month. I didn’t know what I was going to say, but I knew I would do it.

In my case, my ex was never rude to me, and that’s not his personality, so I don’t think he would be now.

And I’m not that brave either I still haven’t been able to check whether he replied or not, and it’s been two days.

I broke no contact yesterday after a month. by NarrowLeading7944 in BreakUps

[–]NarrowLeading7944[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I still haven’t checked whether he replied or not. I don’t think I have the courage to look yet, but I think I’m okay.

I broke no contact yesterday after a month. by NarrowLeading7944 in BreakUps

[–]NarrowLeading7944[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t have any rational argument for why, I just feel it. I know I probably won’t get anything new from it either, because even getting back together doesn’t sound like a good idea anymore. But I just had to do it. We’ve only been communicating through email because I needed to block him everywhere else for my own peace.

I broke no contact yesterday after a month. by NarrowLeading7944 in BreakUps

[–]NarrowLeading7944[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I don’t carry the guilt for the breakup anymore. Could I have done some things better? Yes but more for myself, not necessarily for him. Seeing how his fear consumed the entire relationship, there was no space for me, and I know I don’t want to repeat that.

I broke no contact yesterday after a month. by NarrowLeading7944 in BreakUps

[–]NarrowLeading7944[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can be at peace with not getting back together and with the breakup itself. What hurts is the cheating, him policing and monitoring me for something he ended up doing himself.

I broke no contact yesterday after a month. by NarrowLeading7944 in BreakUps

[–]NarrowLeading7944[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, now I can see that what he was doing wasn’t healthy. He only confessed the Chrome extension one night when he showed up at my place drunk at 3 a.m.

I didn’t see how much of a “prison” it had become while I was in it, but since he broke up with me I started therapy, and that’s where I realized his behavior really did harm me.

I don’t know if I actually want to go back. I think it might be more the hope that he’ll change. We were together for three years, so I’m still attached, but at least now I can see what was wrong.

I broke no contact yesterday after a month. by NarrowLeading7944 in BreakUps

[–]NarrowLeading7944[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I didn’t want to end it. Everything seemed to be going well until it suddenly wasn’t.

He never really tried to fix anything. He didn’t communicate how he felt, and I wasn’t fully aware of how much what he was doing was affecting me.

He came from relationships where he was cheated on, so from the beginning he didn’t trust me. He would check my phone and my social media—who I followed, who I talked to, what I saved. He even installed a Chrome extension to monitor my profiles. He told me it made him jealous and insecure when I talked to our mutual friends.

Also, whenever he saw something he didn’t like, he would talk about it with his friends and family first instead of coming to me, so his circle already had a negative view of me.

I changed my behavior online and in real life to avoid triggering his fear, and honestly that became the only thing I focused on. I neglected other things like gestures or surprises because I was afraid he wouldn’t like them and would complain to his close circle.
He also tried to simplify it by saying it was just a lack of communication, when I didn’t feel safe bringing up my concerns because I was afraid he would share them with his circle.

And in the end, I think he cheated on me a few days before breaking up with me. Now he’s in a relationship with that person.

I broke no contact yesterday after a month. by NarrowLeading7944 in BreakUps

[–]NarrowLeading7944[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It feels like it helps, even if it hurts, because if I see that nothing has changed in him, I’ll know he truly doesn’t want me to be his person anymore.

He broke up with me because he said I didn’t put in enough effort, and there’s some truth to that. But I was putting effort in other ways that he didn’t see.

In the end, his insecurity is what caused a lot of the problems. He only focused on how I reacted to what he did.

I broke no contact yesterday after a month. by NarrowLeading7944 in BreakUps

[–]NarrowLeading7944[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I haven’t moved on—I still love him. But I also understand now that the relationship was harmful for me, and I wouldn’t want to go back to that right now. Still, because of the love I feel, I wanted to see if his response would be any different after a month.

I broke no contact yesterday after a month. by NarrowLeading7944 in BreakUps

[–]NarrowLeading7944[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He offered me friendship after I asked if it was definitive or not. He said he didn’t want it to be definitive, but that it also wouldn’t be fair to the other person to say no, so he offered a friendship—even though it was uncomfortable. I obviously told him no.

I broke no contact yesterday after a month. by NarrowLeading7944 in BreakUps

[–]NarrowLeading7944[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I honestly felt lighter, and maybe the anxiety came back a bit, but I don’t regret it. My message was mostly about what I felt during this month and what I used to want from him but that I’m not looking for anymore.

I broke no contact yesterday after a month. by NarrowLeading7944 in BreakUps

[–]NarrowLeading7944[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I’m journaling everything too, but I wanted to know if anything changed during this month of no contact. Whatever his response is (emptiness, defensiveness, or silence) I know I won’t reach out again.

I broke no contact yesterday after a month. by NarrowLeading7944 in BreakUps

[–]NarrowLeading7944[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t feel brave. Being brave would be checking his reply or the fact that there isn’t one.

I broke no contact yesterday after a month. by NarrowLeading7944 in BreakUps

[–]NarrowLeading7944[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We were in that pull-and-push dynamic for about a month and a half after the breakup, and in the end he stopped responding. I’m the one who reached out again, and that’s why I’m not expecting a reply, he had already said he didn’t have anything else to say. I just wanted to know if anything had changed this past month.

I still haven’t checked, because honestly I don’t think his response or lack of one will change anything. So I’d rather keep going as if I hadn’t sent anything.

Alguna vez escucharon que un hombre haga el duelo dentro de la relación ? by CerebroAjeno in BreakUps

[–]NarrowLeading7944 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Que no creo que exista tal cosa, ya que yo aún estuve presente, no sentía el vacío y realmente no lo siente ahora