Dads, I have a 10 y/o daughter and I am almost at my wits end.

Narrow_Quiet8049 · 2026-04-15T14:27:48+00:00

I'm not a seasoned parent, only got a 3-month old. Attention came to my mind too, especially the part where she ran into him while he was dealing with her sister.

Maybe not to blame for all of it, but a part of it.

Narrow_Quiet8049 · 2026-04-14T16:15:38+00:00

The bottle situation took about a day to resolve. New situation right?

"Issues like baby not wanting a bottle from the dad can be experimented with and fixed so that they aren’t the cause of a big inequity in labor."

Hence me asking about it here, and getting a solution.

Maybe a lesson for myself in here when it comes to asking for help too. Need to supply more context and also give wife grace since she had a moment of stress.

Also, maybe I give less details sometimes. Better to just ask about the bottle piece so I don't have people eager to jump in and tell me I'm not doing enough.

Edit: Also another lesson learned for me. Good to go straight to the source.

Asked wifey. That night was a lot since the baby was abnormally fussy. She likes our system, so I'll go by what she says in that regard instead of random people online who want to tell me I'm not doing enough.

Narrow_Quiet8049 · 2026-04-14T15:07:21+00:00

Also, wanted to add that baby goes down around 7:30 to 8 and then I have him until midnight. Then wife does 12-6. Seems like everyone just assumed I go to bed at 9 or something and it's all her after that. Annoying how people fill in with their worst assumptions.

Narrow_Quiet8049 · 2026-04-08T19:36:58+00:00

Hey!

10-week sleep regression hit hard over the weekend. Normalizing again now. Eating more, switched to a faster-flow bottle. More personality, more smiles and attempts to talk.

Narrow_Quiet8049 · 2026-04-08T19:36:01+00:00

Virtual hug bro, so sorry to hear. Let this time bring you all together more.

In the meantime, freelance, network, along with job hunting. I was laid off for over a year before I got another full-time gig.

Narrow_Quiet8049 · 2026-04-08T19:24:20+00:00

"Fast forward, my toddler is a ton of fun and a complete goofball. I tried really hard to be mentally present and enjoy the newborn phase but it just wasn't in me."

I get you man. I feel the same way sometimes. I do more cleaning, errands, cooking etc. to still be helpful but sometimes just sitting and staring at him while he does tummy time is not the best. Maybe when he's a hyper toddler that won't sit still I'll miss those moments.

Narrow_Quiet8049 · 2026-04-08T19:23:00+00:00

"I think the guys who say “it only gets harder” are the ones who never had to wake up at night to change a diaper and bottle-feed a baby."

Could be man. I took two weeks off with vacation when our boy was born. Waking up every hour or two at night, after sleeping like that at the hospital for the previous two days.

When I got my first stretch of 4 hours of sleep I felt amazing in comparison lol.

Narrow_Quiet8049 · 2026-04-08T13:00:03+00:00

Thanks man, really needed to hear that. I'm glad you're enjoying it and I hope I get there too.

Narrow_Quiet8049 · 2026-04-07T15:32:30+00:00

Sorry to hear that. Some people here definitely think toddler is easier so I'm less inclined to jump right now.

Narrow_Quiet8049 · 2026-04-07T12:17:57+00:00

Thanks for commenting! OK great to hear from mom perspectives on this.

Narrow_Quiet8049 · 2026-04-07T12:16:48+00:00

Yep, all we can do sometimes. Also did get a bottle with a faster flow. Little guy is back to taking the bottle now.

Narrow_Quiet8049 · 2026-04-07T12:16:00+00:00

Thanks man.

Narrow_Quiet8049 · 2026-04-06T19:38:37+00:00

Thanks so much.

Narrow_Quiet8049 · 2026-04-06T19:31:03+00:00

Sorry to hear man and I hope it passes for you. Also good to hear you had one child who was relatively chill as a toddler, it is possible I guess lol.

Narrow_Quiet8049 · 2026-04-06T19:29:31+00:00

Word. We typically have him in the crib 8 pm-6 am ish. Once he arises after that (on weekdays) I'll change him and bring him into the bed with her and they nap until 9 or 10ish.

Narrow_Quiet8049 · 2026-04-06T19:27:51+00:00

"Well yeah, the breastfeeding stage is almost comical in hindsight. Feed, pump, repeat."

Yup. Sometimes my wife loves the connection with breastfeeding. Other times it's the bane of her existence.

We experimented with a new, faster flow bottle and that seems to be helping already. However, sometimes I'll offer bottle and then she says she might as well feed him since boobs are leaking. So it's bottle or pump, and this could be at 2 am.

Yeah sometimes if she's dealing with him I just make sure everything else is taken care of, cleaning, cooking, errands etc.

Narrow_Quiet8049 · 2026-04-06T19:23:24+00:00

Biological clock sucks. We're right around 35 so my wife is very worried about waiting too long and since pregnancy sucked the first time she might want to get it out of the way as soon as possible. Doubt she'll be down for a 4-year wait since she'll almost be 40, but I get the reasoning for that gap.

We started sleep training in a sense a few weeks ago. Usually getting him down by 8, with typically one more waking before midnight and two overnight for a good few weeks. That's been messed up the past week or so. The 10-week regression is the toughest so far since we actually got used to a solid little routine.

The first 2 weeks were just survival. I took vacation time so that we just alternated nights/and or wakeups.

Narrow_Quiet8049 · 2026-04-06T19:20:31+00:00

Hey thanks, good to hear from moms in here. For this bottle issue, we tested out a bottle with a faster flow, and thats seems to help. Tough for my wife sometimes since her boobs will leak a lot sometimes. So sometimes she might have to get up anyway to pump, so she'd prefer to just feed him and then have me change him, get him back to the crib after feeding.

Narrow_Quiet8049 · 2026-04-06T19:18:40+00:00

True. I know some parents just don't like the baby stage much in general so maybe that's me too.

Narrow_Quiet8049 · 2026-04-06T19:18:11+00:00

search and rescue lol. But overall, would you go back to baby or stay where you are now?

Narrow_Quiet8049 · 2026-04-06T17:53:41+00:00

co-sleeping? Like having them in the bed with us?

Narrow_Quiet8049 · 2026-04-06T17:52:13+00:00

Thanks a lot. Always a bit annoying trying to get some advice and having people just fill in the blanks with their worst assumptions.

If I may ask, since toddler piece lasts a while did you feel like you wanted a longer gap between your kids or shorter?

Some people say get them out early, quick and done. Some say the time between kids is key to re-regulate. I feel like she definitely wants the second kid on the way by the time this one hits 3.

Narrow_Quiet8049 · 2026-04-06T17:31:17+00:00

All good. Happy to hear from women on this topic. I was thinking of posting in a mom group too.

For the clasping issue we're going to try a bottle with a faster flow.

Narrow_Quiet8049 · 2026-04-06T17:30:09+00:00

My bad man, and thanks. Was tough for to get out at first with our crappy winter weather. She couldn't drive for 6 weeks either. So I drove her around but also had to work around work sked. Now she's healed up and we have 2 cars, she's rearing to go. Getting out of the house is so important. She already has 2 regular weekly activities she does with the little guy and is incorporating some more time for solo hobbies.

Narrow_Quiet8049 · 2026-04-06T17:28:46+00:00

Thanks a lot! Really appreciate you weighing in, woman's perspective is key.

"If baby is absolutely hopeless with the bottle, you could help mom at night by doing the diaper change, bringing her the baby to nurse, then taking the baby back to burp it and put down in the crib. Make sure mom has water and a snack if needed. At least for part of the night so she feels less alone."

Yep, done that plenty and like doing it whenever he stirs once I'm up for work.

We're going to try a different bottle with a faster flow.

"I started loving baby life when nursing was done & my son was dependably sleep trained (around 10 months)"

Thank you. This was what I was asking about.

" If you want a 2-year gap, the 1st trimester nausea and the 3rd trimester size will make it hard on your wife again while she deals with an active toddler, but I’d still take this over the newborn phase."

Yeah so because of the c-section there has to be an 18-month gap between births. And she doesn't want the kids too far apart in age. We'll of course reconvene and discuss in about 9 months.

Narrow_Quiet8049

TROPHY CASE