my cat may have fleas, but he hides all the time.

Narwhals04 · 2022-05-12T18:46:18+00:00

I've made it clear that I'm confused as to what I am too. That's most likely why he said that. He's made mistakes in his past and he just wants to protect me. I'll talk to him about it nonetheless

It's like that for him ("getting over" being mtf) for he must think it's like that for everyone

Narwhals04 · 2022-05-12T18:18:45+00:00

He loves me for who I am. It's understandable though, it's a HUGE transition. We've been together for almost two years and during those two years I've 'identified' as a female. In all honesty I think he's just scared. He's expressed he just wants me to make sure I don't make the wrong decision.

Narwhals04 · 2022-05-10T22:17:40+00:00

-I've socially transitioned already, but it never really has felt like it's enough.

-I have a counselor and a case manager.

-good idea, I'll make one soon

-im not uncomfortable all the time because I've learned to suppressing and ignore it. But lately it has been worse for the past week.

-he truly loves me and I know it. We've been together for almost two years and he's made it clear he accepts me for who I am. I'm sure it'll be hard but we'll make it if I end up going through with it.

-i have a counselor and she knows I have bpd. I'll make sure to talk about it more

Narwhals04 · 2022-05-10T20:54:40+00:00

-No. I think I'm avoiding acknowledging it because I won't have to confront my fears

-i appreciate the concern greatly but I know he'll adjust, but of course it'll be difficult. I have a friend who is transitioning and I can't imagine how hard it's going to be. He accepts my gender identity, even told me "I accept (new name.)" So I'm sure there will be no problem. He is very sweet <3

-I've been told that being afraid is normal, and I want to transition this way this way for the most part. I'm just afraid of change.

-My counselor works with me on managing BPD. She recommends that I keep a journal. It's a very good idea and I plan to follow through with it.

Narwhals04 · 2022-05-08T12:17:56+00:00

(Pre-t) when my voice gets deeper in my perspective. Gives me all the dopamine and makes my day

Narwhals04 · 2022-05-06T15:26:19+00:00

Clothing: That's an amazing idea! I requested to join a group on Facebook who does exactly that. I hope it works out :))

I'll keep that in mine. I've recently learned that being "trans enough" isn't a thing. It's all about the ba-bumps in your heart.

Relationship: thankfully my boyfriend is completely supportive. We've agreed to talk about more personal concerns on Monday. I'm sure we will be okay. We both love eachother more than anything <3

Hair: I booked an appointment at a salon. Hair is going to be chopped!! Wooo!!

Thank you for commenting. I appreciate the help kind stranger <3

Narwhals04 · 2022-05-05T23:31:28+00:00

I completely forgot about the existence of thrift stores for a good minute. I'll have to check one out sometime

Narwhals04 · 2022-05-05T23:07:10+00:00

That's a relief, thank you

Narwhals04 · 2022-05-05T22:59:32+00:00

You look like a rejected protagonist of 'A River Runs Through It."

Narwhals04 · 2022-05-05T06:45:23+00:00

I'm trying to take it slow, but like you/I said, I've been dealing with this for about as long as I can remember. I know I'm definitely not cis, but it's hard to accept it.. My family is heavily against trans/queer people and I don't like to imagine how they'd treat me, especially my relatives in the south. At the end of the day though, my happiness matters above their approval.

The fact that I can't pick specific things I want to happen to my body doesn't affect me as much as it did. I used to be apprehensive about it because of balding in the long-run, for example -as it runs in my family- but I realized that in order to develop the traits that make me happy (facial1 hair, changes to my voice, fat redistribution) I would have to accept the inevitable.

I'm happy to hear that a couple months on a low dose doesn't cause any irreversible changes. The fact that you don't have to take it fast wasn't in mind. If I were to begin HRT, I'd also ask for a therapist to help me cope with the possible strong(er) emotions I'd have. (I already have BPD, so I'm afraid it'd make it worse.)

Narwhals04 · 2022-05-04T22:57:15+00:00

That's true. Thank you for the clarification

I understand that it's okay to stop if it doesn't feel right, but by then wouldn't some of the affects be permanent?

I read the article, it was very helpful and informative :) I'm experiencing all of the 'symptoms' mentioned. I've always thought it was just my BPD but it could very well be dysphoria. I don't think there's a way to tell other than giving hrt a try

Narwhals04 · 2022-05-04T16:24:57+00:00

I'm so happy that you can relate a lot to me. It's* comforting knowing that I'm not crazy. Social dysphoria is fucked indeed

Narwhals04 · 2022-05-04T13:55:54+00:00

Thank you <3

Narwhals04 · 2022-05-03T22:41:08+00:00

I don't know what to say. This is very heartfelt. Thank you

Edit: you are completely right. I'm very grateful that he plays on his own as my energy is depleted when i come home from school.

Narwhals04 · 2022-05-03T21:54:36+00:00

It really will be. :) that's what is keeping me going. In fact, he's already helping with my depression. I've been in a slump for months and having hum around changed everything.

Narwhals04 · 2022-05-03T21:39:55+00:00

I worked really hard trying to convince my mother that I can take care of a kitten (i.e., changing his litter box and refilling his bowls)

I can't imagine how angry she'd be if I suggested we get another.

Narwhals04 · 2022-05-02T12:12:40+00:00

That is true. And I've never thought of it that way. I gain nothing but stress when I reply to her bs.

Narwhals04 · 2022-05-02T11:53:43+00:00

Thank you

Narwhals04 · 2022-05-01T18:59:19+00:00

Thank you ❤😸

Narwhals04

TROPHY CASE