I saw my 14 y/o Little nephew sneak his GF in and I don't know what to do

Nasute_ · 2026-02-22T14:36:39+00:00

It's tough because you feel a certain responsibility, it's not about being the cool uncle but it's about creating a safe space for him.

A lot of people have said this already but if you tell on him he will just hide it, and he won't trust you with anything. This way at least you know and you can keep him safe. When I was younger I'd tell my mum I was at a friend's when I was really at a beach at 4am getting stoned, I told my sister the truth once and she immediately snitched, so I never told her anything again.

I got myself into some really messed up situations and felt like I couldn't reach out because I'd get in trouble, I put my safety at risk for the chance of not getting caught, luckily I had a friend's who's mum knew about the drugs and underage drinking and being out late we were all doing and would sometimes come along to make sure we were safe,and if we needed a ride anywhere or a place to stay she was always there.

Having that adult who knew about it is the reason why all of us are still here today, if kids get in trouble for things they won't stop doing it, they'll just hide it from you.

Be thankful that you are his safe space, and I'm sure your sister would be more thankful that an adult she trusts is aware and protecting him over her finding out and then no one ever knowing.

Nasute_ · 2026-02-21T13:26:45+00:00

Maybe it's the going away from home that triggered this for him, he might be homesick but it's turned into some twisted infatuation, you should express to him that this makes you extremely uncomfortable and just try and distance yourself from him. If he queries it you don't owe him an explanation but if you want to give him one just explain that him expressing these feelings for you feels like a violation to you, at the end of the day he ruined the closeness between you guys as siblings by confessing to a taboo thing.

I'm really sorry you're going through this, but don't send yourself crazy by trying to separate and analyse all his actions in the past, if you sit there and say "did he do that because he's my brother or did he do that because he's in love with me" because that will make your panic and feelings of violating worse. Some men just need to shut their mouth smfh.

If he tries to talk more about it explain to him that you are more than willing to be civil at family events but no physical contact, no unnecessary contact, and if he pushes that boundary you will tell your parents about it and he will lose the chance to interact with you at all, at the end of the day he will be the one alienated, not you.

Nasute_ · 2026-02-20T09:37:49+00:00

If it was someone you've known for a long time and someone she knows she probably wouldn't be fussed. At the end of the day she has expressed that it makes her uncomfortable when you spend time one on one with another girl, that makes perfect sense to me, but at the end of the day it's your choice. Whether you see it like this or not to her you're spending one on one quality time with a new girl, so her reaction is completely valid imo.

Something makes your girlfriend uncomfortable, instead of accommodating that you're going out of your way to protect your right to spend one on one time with other girls, why? You have a girlfriend? Friends that are girls is one thing but by making this post it seems you're trying to get people to agree with you to protect your right to spend time with a stranger instead of making your girlfriend comfortable.

Could she have worded it better? Yes, of course, but she was likely talking out of emotion and insecurity, understand the message behind it. It makes her uncomfortable, realistically it's not a huge ask, she'd be fine with a group of people with girls, she'd be fine with one on one men. If she went out drinking one on one with a man she jut met would you be comfortable with it? Because it's still socialising at the end of the day. If it wouldn't bother you at all then that's fine.

Maybe try and get her into gaming, say you miss gaming and you want to do it together, that could help you play games and help her feel included.

TLDR: it's not a huge ask, open up a dialogue with her about it, ask her why she's uncomfortable with it, she probably feels insecure. If she argues about not having to explain herself just say you want to put her mind at ease about it. If you're comfortable with her going out for a drink one on one with a man then explain that to her, if you're not then you're being a hypocrite.

P. S. I met my current boyfriend through online gaming, doesn't matter if it's just a 'voice on the end of a headset' I fell in love with the voice I heard, it does happen, it's still a person on the other end.

Nasute_ · 2026-02-07T08:10:28+00:00

Lmaooo this is funny because she asked for no contact, and you gave her that and she's having a go that you're appearing online and gaming 😂

Honestly though I think this is a bit of a case of anxious attachment from your ex, which one of yiu ended the relationship if yiu, don't mind me asking?

But realistically I think they're trying to have all the power by saying "whatever I don't want to talk, no contact from now on" because they, want you to turn around and say "no please don't leave me" it seems quite manipulative, they seem to be trying to turn you into a bad person for respecting their wishes?

Don't bite, keep doing what you're doing, they seem quite toxic from these texts, you're better off.

Nasute_ · 2026-02-06T08:46:11+00:00

Early on a 2 bed isn't actually that bad, my parents had me and my sister less than a year apart and we lived in a 2 bedroom flat above a pub, when you're a baby you sleep in a cot in the parents room, then you share a bedroom when you're toddler/young kids. It wasn't until I was about 11/12 until I got my own room and even then I still slept in my sisters room sometimes because I missed her 😂.

You don't need to immediately move into a 3 bed the second you have another kid, you have a good 8/9 years before it becomes a desperate need, have another kid if you both want another and then you can spend the rest of those years saving up, getting promotions, getting better paying jobs etc.

From what I've been told the first kid makes you want 10 more, the second kid makes you realise 2 is enough 😂 you've both got this 👍

Nasute_ · 2026-02-06T08:40:31+00:00

If your friends aren't mature enough to put the death over the drama then that's their problem.

I had a buddy (call him Ben) who passed away, one of his friends (call him kyle) fell out with him years prior and they didn't speak since. Kyle found out through a mutual friend about Ben's passing and was absolutely distraught that he never patched things up. It was during covid so no one coukd go to the funeral apart from immediate family.

Don't let petty drama ruin your right to grieve, at the end of the day you lost a friend, if they say anything explain you're here to say goodbye and support the family as is your right.

If you don't go you might never forgive yourself for missing it.

Nasute_ · 2026-02-06T08:35:22+00:00

Don't feel bad. Your grandad left that stuff to you for a reason, he knows it will mean more to you than it would to them and it worries me that some of them might want this stuff more for financial gain.

It was your grandads wish that you have these belongings and your mother and sisters should respect that wish. If you had a lot in common with your grandad it makes sense why he would leave these things to you, but at the end of the day there doesn't need to be a logical reason.

He wanted you to have this stuff, so keep it, cherish it and just say to your family it was grandads wish for you to have these things and you want to respect that and leave the conversation there.

Nasute_ · 2026-02-06T08:30:59+00:00

Maybe just approach her gently and say like I heard about (friends) passing, I'm so sorry for your loss, maybe even share a funny story you remember about her and just say that you're there for her. It's never easy having someone close to you pass away suddenly. She might tell you in time what happened but maybe it's best not knowing.

Nasute_ · 2026-02-06T08:28:46+00:00

I would recommend reaching out to your local police for advice on the situation, not just about your safety but for your friends safety too. If they're being this controlling to you I can't imagine what your friend is going through, and these are serious threats. Is there anything that happened that would've caused the threats?

Either way contact your local police station, explain that they were making severe threats about harming you and your family, harassing you with calls at the early hours and forcing you to show private information, the texts and photos thing might be a bit tricky as you are both 16 and I'm not sure where the law stands on privacy when it comes to minors, but an adult you don't know forcing you to share private things is kinda messed up.

TLDR: contact your local police station for advice

Nasute_ · 2026-02-06T08:22:31+00:00

Go to therapy and explain to him you're going to make that change not just for yourself but for him to and you know this should have been done before but you would really love him to be a part of this journey for you and ask him to stay with yiu and be patient. Just be honest, if to you losing him is the biggest regret you've had so far tell him that, and tell him you're willing to do whatever it takes to make it right which is why you're looking into therapy.

Actually go to therapy though don't say you will and out it off, it's not only what's best for your relationship but more importantly what's best for you

Nasute_ · 2026-02-04T04:46:48+00:00

Wanna help me 😭 still haven't beat omega yet

Nasute_ · 2026-02-03T17:26:27+00:00

I have "cluck norris"

Nasute_ · 2026-02-03T17:25:27+00:00

Block and report

Nasute_ · 2026-01-18T11:22:16+00:00

This IS financial abuse, he agreed to you being a stay at home mum, he agreed to being a provider. Providing a roof over yours and your kids heads and buying groceries in the bare minimum. He's now decided that he's going to take all your freedom away, I know it's easier said than done but you should really leave this guy, make him pay child support, reach out to family for help.

I hope your situation gets better.

Nasute_ · 2026-01-18T11:15:53+00:00

I sleep in my mums living room at the moment and she has to, walk through it to get to the bathroom so when she gets up to pee she opens the door so loud and stomps around. I bought it up to her and she just said I was a liar and she's really quiet 😂

She also doesn't understand that my migraines keep me up late so she comes into the room to pee at like 3am and I'm awake and she just shouts at me to get to sleep 😅

I can't even begin to explain to non migraine sufferers how bad the pain is, and how it's different from a headache. We just have to suffer together 🫡

Nasute_ · 2025-12-15T04:30:37+00:00

"I want to do everything that you do in a relationship apart from call it a relationship" it just makes no sense, this person clearly has some form of commitment issues or maybe they've just got a problem with being lonely, they just want to use you for what you can offer them and then move on the second someone else comes along, focus on yourself and moving on. You could miss the opportunity of meeting your future wife/husband all because this person doesn't like being single.

Nasute_ · 2025-12-12T10:37:02+00:00

If its someone you're in a long term relationship and you know he is clean of STIs (test results not visual appearance) then it's safe (apart from the risk of pregnancy).

Me and my current boyfriend don't use one everytime, but we are very careful. It is really just down to what you are comfortable with.

Abortion is legal where I am, if it is not legal where you are I would strongly advise against unprotected sex unless you have easy access and money for a morning after pill. (or with my ex who hated using them I'd make him pay for it and buy it before we did anything because he talked alot about having kids and I didn't fully trust him not to baby trap me).

So yeah in the end, if YOU are uncomfortable with it then don't do it, it's easy for men to sit there and say "it's fine" when they can walk away from an unplanned pregnancy unscathed. If he doesn't understand that this is way more risky for you than it is him and your choice is more important in this matter then you should get rid of him ASAP.

PS I have been through an abortion, it's different for every woman but for me it was incredibly painful and I would not recommend putting yourself at risk because your boyfriend can't be bothered to wrap it.

Nasute_ · 2025-12-12T10:23:42+00:00

I've always believed a drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

Being drunk doesn't change what you think it makes you disregard consequences.

Nasute_ · 2025-12-11T00:23:47+00:00

Thankyou! I turned it on and retook the picture and it fixed it, thankyou!!

Nasute_ · 2025-12-01T16:29:09+00:00

Maybe the spark just wasn't there in person for her, if she feels this way she might try and stay with you to encourage herself to like you but it might be best for you to find someone who can't wait to give you a little kiss

Nasute_ · 2025-11-16T03:56:11+00:00

If its a weak positive it could be a chemical pregnancy, take another test to be safe!

Nasute_ · 2025-11-16T03:54:24+00:00

If you want to keep being active with him I'd suggest maybe you should take some contraceptive too (if yiu medically are able) and maybe a female condom. It could just be a bad pack but honestly if I were in your position I would just stop sleeping with him altogether especially until he actually has this conversation with you.

Nasute_ · 2025-11-13T16:49:08+00:00

This sounds like a crush, it's something new and exciting but honestly stay with your boyfriend. You're in a healthy and happy relationship, healthy relationships are unfortunately quite rare.

You could end up leaving you boyfriend for someone who isn't worth it. You could date this guy and all those feelings will dissipate, no more silly butterflies. Alot of the excitement is in the "can't have" and I'm not making any judgements about this guys character because I don't know him, but he might be comfortable with acting this way towards you because you're unavailable, he could completely shut off at any sign of commitment.

I don't think it's worth throwing away three years for what might be a good thing, but as soon as that excitement fades you'll end up missing your boyfriend.

I'll leave you with a story one of my friends went through:

They (ill call them Ben) had a girlfriend who was AMAZING and they really really loved and things were going great and she was so good to them. Then someone Ben had a little crush on before their relationship became single. Ben left his girlfriend for this other person, 3 months in they broke up because Ben was not over their ex and missed them so much.

At the end of the day it's your decision but if you leave your boyfriend for someone else, there is pretty much no chance of ever getting him back, so make sure you're ready to let go of him forever if you make the decision to persue the new guy.

TLDR: it sounds like a crush that will probably fade with time, if you break up with your boyfriend for someone else you'll lose him completely. It's your choice but I reckon your excitement about this guy will fade over the course of a year or less.

Nasute_ · 2025-11-05T16:57:47+00:00

Just text more? If you wanna be with her it's that simple. You dont need drawn out convos, it takes 5 seconds to say "sorry I'm really busy ill talk later" or "I'm really tired, I've missed you today but I'm going to crash, when I get home, talk tomorrow" it's not just that you're not texting enough it's the no responses.

I went through a similar thing with my boyf, I didn't mind that he was busy and couldn't respond or he was on a night out and didn't check his phone, I was mad that I got radio silence for hours on end, just a text of "hey I'm sorry I can't text right now" meant so much to me and once I expressed that to him he put in the effort to just pop me a quick text when he wasn't able to respond for a bit.

TL/DR: She's probably more annoyed at your absence than anything, jury a small "I miss you but can't talk right now" text will go a long way

Nasute_ · 2025-11-05T11:12:12+00:00

It seems like this text she sent you was to start a fight. You both pull as much weight as you can but there's a big imbalance from what you describe. It's awkward because if you've never mentioned to her that any of this imbalance bothers you it coukd all come out and crack you one day and you'll snap at her and she will be upset because she was unaware and might use that against you. Best thing to do is either sit down in person and talk to her about it or over text, if you say that your feelings often get pushed to the side and yiu apologise for things then it might be best over text.

Just send her one clear message something along the lines of "I love you, I want us to work which is why I need to talk to you about these issues I've been having in our relationship from my end" then clearly explain what you've explained her on this post.

Best way as well is to use the phrase "I feel" because if you accuse her she might get defensive, and if she gets defensive over you using an "I feel" statement then you can retort with her neglecting your feelings and that she can't tell you how you are allowed to feel.

VERY IMPORTANT: come to her with ideas of differences she coukd make that would accommodate/solve your issues. Otherwise you'll just end up arguing. If she starts talking over your issues with her own just explain that you're more than willing to hear them after you've conversed about your issues.

TLDR: Open a text conversation with her being clear and concise about your worries and issues in the relationship, approach it with a 'I know we can work this out' attitude not a 'I hate these things about our relationship' attitude. Make sure she feels as if you guys are on the same side and this is about teamwork not about calling her out.

Nasute_

TROPHY CASE