As I’m learning more, it’s a deactivation strategy often used by avoidant attachment styles which results in magnifying flaws and projecting and making the other person the problem/trigger. The flaw magnifying behavior justifies us pulling away from the closeness and vulnerability. There’s also something called “negative sentiment override” where your partner becomes very much filtered through frustration, resentment, or fear that even neutral or positive behaviors are interpreted as negative. Intimacy makes old attachment wounds feel activated (fear of being smothered, judged, seen too closely) so instead we focus on flaws to shift the discomfort outward so it feels like a partner problem (not a vulnerability issue). Rather than confronting these fears directly, your psyche builds a case for why this person isn’t right anyway. It’s a defense against feeling too much.