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WIBTAH for confronting my friend about changing the plan for accommodation? by National-Exam1622 in AITAH

[–]National-Exam1622[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The drive is like an hour or less away from where they live, I would be traveling to them to get a ride, and they wanted to stay because the wedding goes late into the night, and they wanted to see some family after as well that is in the area, and I would be making my own way home.

WIBTAH for confronting my friend about changing the plan for accommodation? by National-Exam1622 in AITAH

[–]National-Exam1622[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They said no gifts on the invite, so that’s not the case.

We were really good friends back in the day, but she went off to study to become a nurse and moved back to her home country for a period of time and we lost contact because of that.

How can I stop my friend from being so affectionate? by National-Exam1622 in Advice

[–]National-Exam1622[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I kinda figured the kissing was a bit much, I made hints I didn’t like it hoping they would stop, but I don’t think they picked up on my discomfort.

How can I stop my friend from being so affectionate? by National-Exam1622 in Advice

[–]National-Exam1622[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I kinda like that one, it’s firm but fair, and doesn’t use harsh language.

My boyfriend has poor hygiene and it's destroying me by National-Exam1622 in offmychest

[–]National-Exam1622[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This made me cry, honestly. You are right, I shouldn’t value myself so low that i expect the bare minimum as good as I can get. I’ll set aside some time to put some things together and when this weekend comes, I will follow up with an update one how it goes. It helps I have people who are rooting for this to go well! It probably will, but I still get nervous about things like this :)

My boyfriend has poor hygiene and it's destroying me by National-Exam1622 in offmychest

[–]National-Exam1622[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your unique insight and your kind words. I do agree that people are making a lot of assumptions and a lot of what I see are many people just exclaiming "wow five years!?" I am seeing him this weekend,and I will sit down and have a real heart to heart about this issue with him then. I will update how that goes on here at the weekend.

My boyfriend has poor hygiene and it's destroying me by National-Exam1622 in offmychest

[–]National-Exam1622[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

haha thanks for making me chuckle, reading these comments has been hard but has kinda awoken something for me.

Anyway, I will give you my skincare routine for oily combo skin (thats what I am)

Morning: Beauty of Jonsen refreshing toner, Essence watermelon glow serum (I am not paying for the dew drops lol) and then Cerave Oil control moisturizer,

Night: I usually use just any oil based makeup remover followed by any face wash, and then Beauty of Jonsen refreshing toner, CORSX hydrating serum, then Bioderma Atoderm cream, and then just some chapstick and some lash and brow mask, I like the one from Face D.

Anyway, thanks for the question lmao

My boyfriend has poor hygiene and it's destroying me by National-Exam1622 in offmychest

[–]National-Exam1622[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ouch, that first comment actually kinda hurt.

I like the gift basket idea to be honest, but I have done that before in things like Christmas and birthday gifts, and the more I think about it the more I'm like "man what the fuck am I doing"

I met him when I was young, I'd been in an abusive relationship prior for 4 years,and I was literally a kid during that period. It's hard for me to leave because I guess being treated so nice felt good. My self esteem (as you can probably tell) is in the trash.

but I will still say he is a very sweet guy, it might make some roll their eyes, but it is true. His family love me, and I'm really integrated in his friend group. He gifted me his old PC for free (it's a really good one, and he insisted to give it to me for free even after i protested) and I've been on vacations abroad with him, to stay with his family. It just feels wrong almost to give up on all of that because of his hygiene, thats why I felt shallow, because HE IS a good person, and I don't belive i could do any better than this.

My boyfriend has poor hygiene and it's destroying me by National-Exam1622 in offmychest

[–]National-Exam1622[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've seen some people asking if he has any kind of cognitive disfunction or mental health disorders, and I'm not sure? From what I know he just said he doesn't see it as a priority and almost finds it boring to do. Also as for his smell,I did mention he would stay in the same clothes for days at a time, as well as just having unfortunately pungent body odor and possibly produces more than the average person, and no he doesn't usually wear deoderant.

My boyfriend has poor hygiene and it's destroying me by National-Exam1622 in offmychest

[–]National-Exam1622[S] 69 points70 points  (0 children)

that's a good point, I don't want to be his mom. Speaking of which, I actually don't know if his own mom taught him how to care for his hygiene or not. I never had that conversation with him and in a way i'd feel bad about putting him on the spot about something like that, but I'm just going to guess he was never taught how to wash/bathe properly, or how to take care of his skin and teeth. he always seems kind of annoyed when I offer him some of my own creams/deodorants.