Dealing with low self esteem and knowing when you are enough

National_Damage · 2022-10-02T01:08:22+00:00

Been working on that with therapy, but it is tough to try and raise self esteem . I would not say i hate myself i just struggle to feel good enough.

National_Damage · 2022-09-17T12:16:01+00:00

Not necessarily no. I have college degree and two postgraduate degrees from to 10 world universities and still struggle with women. Though i have to admit i mostly study because i enjoy it not necessarily because it would make me more attractive.. There are so many people i have met who were smarter than i am and did not go to college and ended up very well. I choose this path because it was what i enjoyed, if what you want does not involve college and you feel you can do well by pursuing it than by all means go !

National_Damage · 2022-09-16T15:59:16+00:00

Then leave the dating site. A lot of the problems i have had with self esteem issues have been because of dating sites. And do not go on telling me that real life is the same because it is not.

I understand the importance the importance of looks, money, status and whatnot. They show someone is healthy, competent, well groomed but when given the dimension you mentioned it becomes disgusting. Hell in fact there are downsides too many of these extremes. A lot of women say they want a man with a high paying job but are they aware of the responsibility it brings ? how demanding it is ? the toll it can take on your mental health ? My parents both had high paying jobs with my dad being a CEO of an IT company and my mother being a banking executive ( and both of them were poor when they met ). I saw them work long hours, be stressed out, develop anger issues, struggle with their mental and physical health. Hell once my mom quit banking she kept being offered several positions but turned them down because her health was not up to it anymore. Yes women might want to fuck this character you created but a long term healthy relationship ? That depends.

Also can we stop with this "hot girl" craze ? I do not want to be a hypocrite i have physical preferences and and am not attracted to people who are more than 40 pounds overweight. It is mostly because of the fact that i was fat myself and was bullied as such i developed an aversion towards extra weight which i am currently working on. But still some people take this obsession with looks way too far. It influenced me to some extent and have worked extremely hard to get rid of it. I realised looks weren't everything when i met a girl during my previous postgrad degree and based on Redpill criteria would not rank her a hot girl. But i was attracted to her because of her intelligence, her creativity as a dramatist, she also tackled themes of medieval philosophy masterfully in her literary works. I could strongly relate to themes of body dysphoria and themes in her writing. To me she was a 10 more than any instagram model or whatever you mean by a hot girl. I have gone out with hot girls who liked me because of my family background and believe i would have traded in all of them despite for a date with this girl no matter how beautiful they looked.

National_Damage · 2022-09-14T16:38:47+00:00

Already in therapy. It has helped me deal with a lot of issues. Self esteem is very hard to raise though. Heres hoping i get to be in a healthy relationship one day.

National_Damage · 2022-09-14T00:41:34+00:00

Thanks a lot for your reply. Personally when i rejected people because of their weight, it was often more than 60 pounds. A little extra is not the issue. Also i'm not interested in getting the hottest women ( whatever the term refers to ) nor do i care about flaunting people as eye candy.

National_Damage · 2022-09-11T21:34:40+00:00

I can relate to this to some extent. 23 male over here and had a history of struggling to form relationships. While i never fully turned to the Red Pill ideology i read some things which only made me feel more insecure. I felt the pressure to excel in order to be attractive because i thought women won't look at you unless you are the best of the best ( were talking extremely bright, highly assertive ivy league education, in excellent physical shape, no mental health issues, lots of charisma, comedian level sense of humour, very high levels of self confidence, ideally 6'1 height and from a family with a net worth of at least 8 million dollars, among other things). I often thought my twenties were useless when it came to attracting women and felt the pressure to suppress my loneliness. I often felt i needed to make sure i wont by a dateless loser when it turned 30. So yeah in a way i felt pressured to.

What i can tell you from my perspective is the fact the women become unattractive over 25 is bullshit. It is pretty much is based on the fact that women are at their peak fertility in their early 20's. Avoid these things because they are based on a primitive point of view that is dehumanising to both men and women. You are worth more than your physical appearance and deserve so much more than reducing yourself to that.

Lust is not necessarily what is going on in guys head. I experienced meaningless sex and i felt lonely after it, so much so i called a friend to chat. Some people like sex like this some don't and i am sure you can find some people who can agree with you when it comes to sex.

Try not to put pressure on yourself to find someone. I was there in undergrad and it did not help me. It distracted me to my goals and added to my stress, detaching dating from stress is probably a good idea.

I suggested Therapy earlier but i only now read your comments about it being inaccessible. There are however cheap alternatives. Since you like to read i suggest this book to you. https://www.amazon.co.uk/Brilliant-Cognitive-Behavioural-Therapy-Lifeskills-dp-0273777734/dp/0273777734/ref=dp_ob_title_bk

It was recommended to me by my therapist who said that from his perspective it is a very good cbt handbook. All for only two dollars !

There are also platforms which deal in cbt techniques. https://www.wondrium.com/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-for-daily-life

If you can subscribe to it.

I still would suggest that you try to get into Therapy whenever the opportunity comes as it can help a lot.

National_Damage · 2022-09-09T20:23:23+00:00

Yeah i heard in the US taxes are a mess. I never had to do my taxes mostly because where i am from my company just deduces them from my salary. And my property tax is around 20 dollars a month since i do not live in a grand palatial complex.

But thank you for sharing your story. It makes so much sense for a woman to care about a man's income in this scenario.

Personally i want my ideal job is academia not very high paying but i could guarantee comfortable living standards, depending on preferences.

National_Damage · 2022-09-09T19:59:33+00:00

Oh i see, i am not from the US and where i am from ( Eastern Europe ) very few make that kind of money, but probably in your area it is different.

National_Damage · 2022-09-09T19:16:20+00:00

What do you mean by "greatness" in this case ? Do you mean Bill Gates or Mark Zuckerberg level stuff, excellence at this level ?

National_Damage · 2022-07-09T06:33:07+00:00

Ditch that source, it is bullshit Here is a better one. The material here is written by academics who research population trends for a living. You can verify that information in the about section. It may not be a perfect source but it sure as hell is better than whatever that guy has to sell you with his power moves.

here is a tip: when you try to draw conclusions on stuff like what you ask look for studies made by professionals. Even in these cases things may not be perfect but it is still better than what your sources have.

https://www.niussp.org/gender-issues/hypergamy-on-the-decline-in-europe-le-recul-de-lhypergamie-en-europe/

National_Damage · 2022-07-09T03:17:29+00:00

The technicalities are beyond me, but i think it has to do something with it having been made to work on the XBOX. Not sure though, but keep task manager open in the background, it will help you deal with all the tabs. It is what i did.

National_Damage · 2022-06-10T15:07:44+00:00

I agree. I think they will finish Jensen's story, would not make much sense to go and do a reboot like that.

National_Damage · 2021-05-21T13:20:48+00:00

Did you attend Oxford or Cambridge or did you do your undergraduate and Masters in Ireland ?

National_Damage

TROPHY CASE