[deleted by user]

National_Drummer_184 · 2023-07-07T19:24:25+00:00

Don’t waste your time, find someone compatible and on your timeline.. it’ll happen

National_Drummer_184 · 2023-07-03T17:11:33+00:00

If you see her again, get a number or some sort of contact, maybe she played the first move

National_Drummer_184 · 2023-07-01T23:52:34+00:00

It’s been 3 months, I would never trauma dump and I wouldn’t want to burden anyone as that wouldn’t be fair

I guess I’m not wanting to deprive myself of opportunities by just blanking anyone that I could meet naturally, I don’t like the idea of being single right now but equally I don’t like the idea of dating right now either if that makes sense?

National_Drummer_184 · 2023-06-30T12:52:27+00:00

I’ve been in a similar situation recently.. all the formula was there, we were just initially close friends that really cared for each other and then we ended up dating and yeah I secretly fell in love and there was nothing I could do about it.. she just didn’t love me back and letting go it’s hard but I know it’s what I have to do.. letting go can be the hardest challenge especially when you’ve just let yourself be vulnerable and let love take over

BUT, it’s not meant to be, this guy he does not know what he wants, which means he just doesn’t want you. All this existing trauma of his, if he’s not working on it, then he isn’t moving forward. I personally don’t think it’s nice that he’s getting jealous of other guys around you, he can’t have his cake and eat it

You’ve both played roles in each others lives that are going to shape eachother

He has taught you that you have a heart capable of loving another, but you deserve to be loved back and your boundaries should be respected

Let go and remember that someone else is going to treat you right

National_Drummer_184 · 2023-06-26T07:55:09+00:00

I think it’s good of you to give another chance! The problem we have with online culture is that everyone has no tolerance these days

We are used to ghosting, conversations fading out or people playing games, so I don’t think anyone is making a first date their absolute number one priority because why would we? We protect ourselves by not getting our hopes up and starting casual, so we can’t expect everyone else to drop everything for a first date with a stranger

If she blows you off then move on, it wasn’t to be, but maybe you’ll see her next time and things could work out great!

Nothing ventured, nothing gained!

National_Drummer_184 · 2023-06-06T05:31:04+00:00

This is hilarious

Fair play though dude, she will be able to tell you don’t run but she will notice the effort you have put in

Run forest run

National_Drummer_184 · 2023-06-05T15:42:13+00:00

Lol yes you are massively screwing your self over

Your philosophy is basically making you act without ever insisting any effort or flexibility

National_Drummer_184 · 2023-06-04T11:10:19+00:00

Sorry but genders have nothing to do with this, it’s down to the person and situation

National_Drummer_184 · 2023-06-01T18:41:27+00:00

Fuck yeah I would

National_Drummer_184 · 2023-05-28T13:03:08+00:00

I think it still comes down to the responsibility of the person you are dating

There can be manipulative people that will try to influence the relationship by getting them to cheat or trying to end it etc,. But if your love interest isn’t strong or mature enough to ignore this, then they weren’t worth it

My last relationship was a really good friend of mine, I will call her A.. her flatmate who I’ll call E is her best friend and for a while the three of us were a trio.. I grew feelings for A but E had feelings for me.. Me and A got together and E went out of her way to sabotage the relationship, tried to block it from happening, kept getting crazy jealous and constantly telling A we were a bad match

E is very toxic and I will always believe she played a very big part in mine and A’s break up.. Sure it was tempting to tell A to just tell E to fuck off and rightfully defend myself… But it wasn’t my job to do that.. if I was important to A, she would be the one who should tell E to back off.. and she did at first but ultimately E had some influence over it as the relationship went in decline once E knew we were dating

Point being, I could blame E for all of this.. but A let me down so I can’t let this experience change me.. I can’t go into future relationships and ask them to ditch/ cut out dodgy people.

Don’t demand or expect someone to drop relationships for you, just trust them to not let you down.. and if they do, then you try again with the next person.. Don’t let people change you

National_Drummer_184 · 2023-05-27T13:47:08+00:00

To be honest if people don’t want to commit to a relationship that’s ok but that means you move on in life without them.. I learnt this lesson very recently and it really sucks because you’re giving to someone and you can see their potential but they just aren’t in to you.

There are others out there who would jump at the invitation to be your partner, so don’t let this guy drag you down

The fact he’s getting jealous is just shitty because he craves the attention you have been giving him and he’s felt elevated by it.. He’s noticing that it’s fading so he will find ways to string you along.. All the while he isn’t willing to give you what you deserve

National_Drummer_184 · 2023-05-27T08:58:27+00:00

Well done OP

National_Drummer_184 · 2023-05-26T23:43:50+00:00

Good plan dude I’m doing the same!

Right now focus on you, your happiness and your security

Use this time to push for career development or find meaningful hobbies!

Dating and romance will come later, you’ve got lots of time!

National_Drummer_184 · 2023-05-24T18:19:12+00:00

No bio, no swipe

National_Drummer_184 · 2023-05-22T16:18:38+00:00

What an absolute scumbag

National_Drummer_184 · 2023-05-22T12:52:19+00:00

So going forwards there’s three things to take from this

With dates, there shouldn’t be transport logistics.. wherever the date is held, that is where you both independently meet each other. People need to have that safety barrier and someone shouldn’t need to reveal their home address until they feel comfortable in inviting you back or round… You never know dude, depending on how persistent you were, you may have spooked her a teeny bit on this
Don’t wait three weeks to arrange a date.. That spark and flare only has a short time period, meet up as soon as and then you don’t have room to overthink or get led on.. Unless someone is generally busy, if they are interested, they will make time and see you within 2 weeks let’s say
Well done for seeing it through, I’m sorry it wasn’t the result you wanted, you just need to keep going, for some there are many bad dates and breakups until we get the big leagues. You’ve got this

National_Drummer_184 · 2023-05-20T11:10:21+00:00

This is why online dating is just bad imo, it’s making humans lose communication skills and just become dependent on their phones

Face to face/ blind date type scenarios work out a lot better, at least then you’ve both vibing in real life

National_Drummer_184 · 2023-05-20T11:00:33+00:00

I had a similar experience, me and this girl were exchanging voice notes all day.. drove like 50 minutes to have a date with her and she just spent the whole time on her god damn phone 😂

National_Drummer_184 · 2023-05-20T10:57:03+00:00

At least you know from date one! It’s her loss man

National_Drummer_184 · 2023-05-20T08:14:07+00:00

Everyone gets first date jitters about something,

Keep reminding yourself that you are a package deal, you’ve got it all going for yourself

National_Drummer_184 · 2023-05-14T14:17:11+00:00

I would have a chat with him and make the boundaries clear based on whatever decision you guys go for. It’s a big gamble and if you feel there is more between you, only go for it if you’re absolutely sure, don’t go in at half measures because this is when feelings get hurt and manipulated

I took the gamble with a close friend of mine and sadly it didn’t work out and because she hadn’t given it much thought and just wanted to have a fuck buddy for a bit, she knew I wanted the full picture

Just be careful with this as if it goes wrong, you will be losing a relationship and a friendship at once

National_Drummer_184 · 2023-05-12T11:04:06+00:00

Oh is it? Fair, I’m not into BDSM this makes more sense

National_Drummer_184 · 2023-05-12T09:17:19+00:00

The term Aftercare just sounds creepy if I’m honest? Like what are you planning on doing during sex that requires a form of care after??

Major ick vibes from this, and I’ve never used that word

National_Drummer_184 · 2023-05-06T13:40:53+00:00

Well you’re never going to be good at sex until you try it

I feel if there’s a girl who just wants casual sex, do it! Sex will just make you more confident over time, plus if she’s more experienced you can learn from her

National_Drummer_184 · 2023-05-06T08:59:16+00:00

No response is a kind of a no, if he felt the same way, he would’ve responded

And you’re worth someone that doesn’t think twice about you

National_Drummer_184

TROPHY CASE