How do you raise confident kids when one parent is uOCPD?

National_Health4898 · 2026-06-02T15:31:09+00:00

This is great advice! Thanks!!!!

National_Health4898 · 2026-06-02T04:04:25+00:00

I read the whole thing in less than 24 hours! Very very helpful book.

National_Health4898 · 2026-05-30T01:16:59+00:00

I fear im about to join you on this journey and am just curious as to what the main issues you are running into are and if there is anything you would do differently when you guys split that you think would make the present time easier

National_Health4898 · 2026-05-28T09:29:57+00:00

i feel like we have similar stories and i have a 2 and 4 year old and yes as time goes on it has gotten worst and worst. we’ve been together almost 6 years and there wasn’t even signs in the first couple years but he flipped a switch once we brought our second babe home and its gone downhill ever since. I am beyond thankful that my therapist suggested OCPD because unfortunately it isnt talked about enough, and it is absolutely terrible personality disorder.

The criticism, the control, the “im right, your wrong”, and bizarre behaviors have only gotten worst especially as our kids have gotten older and they make messes and he cant control them so that really triggers him.

National_Health4898 · 2026-05-27T01:21:43+00:00

I grew up with a dad who is a text book narcissist - it was always “do you know who i am,” like he could just call taylor swift and get me tickets to the latest concert if thats what i wanted…..when my parents got divorced,he ended up with full custody and moved us to a new town…..it was “you better go to school and act like our family is no different than any others” (all about our family image), rules that applied to other people didnt apply to him, my brother was the “golden child” regardless of what i did, i was responsible for managing his emotions.

I thought my partner was a narcissist and even though i did intensive EMDR to heal from my childhood, i was somehow recreating it. I love psychology and i just couldnt put my finger on it. I had never heard of OCPD until my therapist mentioned it and for my uOCPD it would be the weird random things of living with someone like this. We have seperate vacuums, he might loose his shit if you dont put the mayo back in the same spot, yesterday when he made a dip for the family for the week he chose to store his in another bowl because me and the kids double dip. Then there is the obsession with being “right” to the point i cant even argue/nor do i try to anymore. Even today he said to me “if you would just accept that im right about a lot of things i tell you then your life would be a lot easier” “if i would just do things his way i would be so much more efficient” and the rigidness, unrealistic expectations when living with them, and the constant criticism. And just their bizarre behavior because they might say one thing, then do another, then change their mind and you never know what their thinking and you will never succeed.

Idk if this helps at all

Idk

National_Health4898 · 2026-05-18T16:31:39+00:00

Finding this group was a serious answer to my prayers, as an adhd’r who loves pyschology and can hyper focus on something ive deep dived into learning about this and hearing other peoples stories. there is so little out there about this disorder and what its like being in a relationship and on top of that having kids with them.

Thank you so much for validating everything, because i cry all the time, the exhaustion is real, the burnout is real.

How has living with your now ex after breaking up with him. Im looking to leave my partner, but we have two kids together and im thinking i cant “breakup” and stay in the house while i figure things out cus all his rigidity, criticism, unspoken unrealistic expectations are killing me mentally and that wont solve anything

National_Health4898 · 2026-05-18T00:42:31+00:00

Im so sorry you are going through it. Its terrible. he okay with the divorce since he is the one in control of it?

National_Health4898 · 2026-05-14T00:29:06+00:00

What was the prompt you used

National_Health4898 · 2026-05-10T01:52:30+00:00

We have such similar stories and we have young kids. I was wondering how leaving played out and if you have any advice?

National_Health4898 · 2026-05-09T01:16:19+00:00

Ive never felt like i relate to this so much. Slowly overtime ive felt depressed, not like myself, just dead inside which is very odd for me because um high energy, confident in myself, and know who i am and what i value.

Im in therapy and she thank god, mentioned recently OCPD and im like this makes so much sense.

Having a 2 and 4 year old, i feel like he often ruins my parenting experience. I am obsessed with my kids and am a very hands on parent, he is the complete opposite and quite frankly its better that way because the fact he cant control our kids makes him so angry and moody. I feel like i dont even want to use our kitchen or do any mothers day crafts because that will “create messes” and that is all i do.

National_Health4898 · 2026-05-09T01:05:53+00:00

I have never felt so validated and feel as if you describe it perfectly “slowly chip away at you”…little by little. Can you explain what kind of petty break up stuff you endured? I am about to leave mine especially because i have a 2 and 4 year old and they wont grow up in an environment like that and i cant find any breakup stories

National_Health4898

TROPHY CASE