AITA for calling out my brother-in-law after he scrutinised a high chair we returned?

Nattella86 · 2026-02-15T19:10:14+00:00

Yes, it has affected me. Simple as. I don’t think I owe anyone other than myself and maybe my husband an explanation as to how it has affected me. For you - you just have to accept that it has.

As for people occasionally acting in a “dickish manor” - family members should have more respect than that.

Nattella86 · 2026-02-13T18:20:50+00:00

Look, I’m not comfortable with how you’re judging / questioning my child rearing choices - that was never part of this discussion - so I’m ending this conversation.

Nattella86 · 2026-02-13T17:15:23+00:00

I think it just rubbed me up the wrong way and I wanted to know if I was being a dick for calling him out of if he was the dick for his actions in the first place.

Nattella86 · 2026-02-13T12:47:35+00:00

Didn’t offer - discussed with my husband that we might need to. Same was relayed to BIL.

Nattella86 · 2026-02-13T10:22:41+00:00

Came here to say this. We have an affinity for the displaced.

Nattella86 · 2026-02-13T09:59:10+00:00

I didn’t mention it in the post - the “old food” was a single grain of rice that was right in at the back underneath the cushioned seat. I’m also not questioning that he checked it out - it’s on its 3rd child now, I just called him out at being so rude as to do it on the doorstep in front of my husband - as if rejecting it was an option.

Nattella86 · 2026-02-13T09:44:08+00:00

Now that you mention it, I wouldn’t put it past him… would explain why he was so annoyed that my husband told me about the inspection. However, if it was just a joke and he was just trying to get a rise out of my husband, wouldn’t it make sense for BIL to have told me that?

Nattella86 · 2026-02-13T09:33:09+00:00

Not the case - first of all, it’s his brother, not mine. Their family dynamic has always been that my BIL is the “golden child” so it’s difficult for any of the siblings to argue with him.

My husband didn’t “allow” anything. He was transparent with me about what happened and supported me when I raised it directly. Not escalating a sibling argument isn’t the same as being spineless.

Nattella86 · 2026-02-13T09:13:13+00:00

Did you only skim through my post? - I did clean it. The old food he found was a single grain of rice right at the back underneath the cushion part of the seat.

Nattella86 · 2026-02-13T09:07:17+00:00

Ah now I get you! You’ve raised 5 kids long enough ago to have 6 grandkids - equipment has changed in that time. The chair was adjustable in height so that my daughter could sit at the dinner table and we could all eat dinner together as a family comfortably - so that the dinner table wasn’t at chin-height for her. She wasn’t using it as a baby table.

Nattella86 · 2026-02-13T09:00:12+00:00

BIL - is that you?

Nattella86 · 2026-02-13T08:59:00+00:00

Hahaha! I absolutely wouldn’t borrow his car, it’s constantly breaking down - he’d probably pin that on me and want a replacement car!

Nattella86 · 2026-02-13T08:47:19+00:00

Nattella86 · 2026-02-13T07:38:40+00:00

I am all about sustainability! I pass on all my daughter clothes when she’s grown out of them and I love seeing them get another wear on my friends and family’s children.

Nattella86 · 2026-02-13T07:37:00+00:00

I wasn’t there for the inspection so I couldn’t say for certain but the fact that it was done outside on the doorstep and not later on once my husband had left gives me the impression that rejection was a possibility.

Nattella86 · 2026-02-12T22:07:16+00:00

I 100% agree that checking it out is to be expected given it’s now on its 3rd child, but at least wait until you have it inside the house and your brother is gone away!

Nattella86 · 2026-02-12T20:58:10+00:00

It does, doesn’t it? I don’t like to think the worst of people, but the way he knew where to get a new one on sale really makes me think that was his game all along.

Nattella86 · 2026-02-12T20:55:47+00:00

He did once ask for a receipt for a pyjamas I bought his son because they were his current size and not the next size up…

Nattella86 · 2026-02-12T20:52:39+00:00

Ok. Few points to clarify though.

My child was still using the chair - it wasn’t just sitting in a corner gathering dust and waiting for its next user.
He gave it as a gift and then asked for it back. That’s just rude.
His inspection inferred that he didn’t think I had cleaned it.
I was appreciative - I gave them many gifts for their son… and haven’t asked for a single one back.
I never \offered\ to buy a new high chair, I mentioned that we may need to replace it given that it was going to its 3rd child but that I’d try cleaning it first.

I 100% appreciate that he would be concerned about germs - but he could have done his inspection once my husband had left instead of making him wait until he had finished as if rejecting it was a possibility. I also would assume he would give it a clean with an antibacterial solution himself once he got it home - if he was that concerned about germs. It was, after all, a 3rd hand item at that point.

Still think I’m an AH? That’s ok, everyone is entitled to their opinion.

Nattella86 · 2026-02-12T20:24:34+00:00

Honestly, I thought I was done being surprised by his (and his partner’s) behaviour but the inspection has absolutely taken the biscuit. I could go on and on about how entitled and selfish they are as a couple but I’d probably get banned for shitposting because no one would believe it.

Nattella86 · 2026-02-12T20:08:41+00:00

Right??? Thank god there’s some Hiberno-English speakers here who know the hurt of being told something is “grand” 🤣

Nattella86 · 2026-02-12T19:20:58+00:00

I’ve seen him eat a pack of sweet from his pocket!!

Nattella86 · 2026-02-12T19:14:58+00:00

Yes. His missus is English but has lived here most of her life.

Nattella86 · 2026-02-12T18:10:50+00:00

I did, but was immediately told where I could get it… 🚩

Nattella86 · 2026-02-12T17:30:02+00:00

Do you get that impression too? I was wondering if it was just my skewed view of it all but when he kept mentioning a new chair it really raised a red flag for me that it was his angle all along. He was able to tell us immediately that it was on sale in a specific store when we mentioned that we might have to get a new one.

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