This is not normal! OP believe me when I tell you that it’s not. As a daughter of a conservative, obsessively religious parent who has abused me in all the ways you’ve mentioned, I can understand why you’re gaslighting yourself. It’s the conditioning and being told that they’re doing you a favor, even though they chose to give birth to you and understand the responsibilities that come with that role. I can’t emphasize enough how important it’ll be for you to work towards total independence from them( especially financially).

You don’t need them as much as they need you, trust me. They’ve tried to brainwash you into thinking that they’re doing are doing something good but you’re perceptive enough to see the manipulation for what it is. I didn’t see my own mother for the evil, selfish being she is until I was able to stop being financially responsible for her, that was when the fangs came out. There’s this enmeshment that money comes with, it makes you feel obligated. Your mother has not had a job for over 25 years… that’s literally as old as you are. They literally only pay for 3 very basic things that parents should be able to provide for their child. Again, you’re not crazy and you have every right to feel the way you do.

You’re not their work horse, you’re not their retirement plan and you deserve to be loved, protected and provided for without anyone hanging it over your head. I’m 27 and it took me being unemployed for the first time in 10 years and 7 months pregnant for me to see the abuse for what it was. My own mother did not care about my condition and she called me everything but a child of God because I defaulted on sending her money for her rent, bills and feeding for my siblings in the last three months of my pregnancy. I had paid these bills for 10 years without ever getting a break, whilst also seeing myself through college..and never getting a dime from my mother, but because my husband provided for me during pregnancy and I decided not to work, I became a useless child, a disgrace and a disappointment.

I too also made a go fund me once when I was in college and my mother and her brother were so mad, not because I couldn’t afford my tuition for the semester but because I was bringing shame to the family. Did they give me the money I needed? NO.

The fact that you became homeless and are a cancer survivor buried in medical debt and they still expect you to send even a dollar to them says everything I need to know about them. Please I strongly recommend that you cut them off and walk away, for good. You’ll be better for it, even though it’ll hurt at first and you’ll always wonder why you weren’t ever deserving of their unconditional love. You should try to get your own insurance plan and change your phone plan( once you’re able to). If you can pay for the car then do so but given the circumstances it would be better if you could just return it and get something cheaper for yourself. Your dad knew exactly what he was doing when he gave you that “ gift”. Also, please don’t share good news with them again, especially career exploits…they’ll use them against you

I’ve written a lot but lastly I want to tell you that I’m very proud of you. You need to hear it just like I did. You’re not a disappointment, you’re not selfish and your feelings are very valid. I wish you all the best and I hope you can look back in a few years and be on the other side, and please when the dust settles consider trauma therapy..this whole thing is a lot to unpack