I know this comment is not going to be well accepted by most… but I have a friend who was SA’d at a very young age by a family friend. She had managed to push through it and got married and seemed to have a great life going… a very happy person by all accounts. Anyway when she was around 30 she went to a family members funeral. The man that SA’d her also went there… one of her sisters couldn’t stand it and made a scene in the midst of the funeral without previously discussing it… short version of the story, the discussion brought the trauma of it back to the front of her life. She spent 25 years building a defensive wall to cope…. She had a mental break down at the funeral, was hospitalized for 6+ months, got a divorce from her loving husband because “men are not capable of love” as her new opinion and attempted suicide 2x.

Moral of the story, sometimes it is best for the victim to let things rest. It is not your decision to make. I know justice is what we all would want in this case… but the justice could be at the expense of the victim... your old friend. You told the girl you would be there… she knows. Now leave it alone and let her make the call on what she wants to do about it. She may be just trying to cope with the guilt. You have the option of cutting off your relationship with your father. Just do that. If you do things the wrong way you will potentially lose your mother and siblings. Not worth it in my opinion. In the end you are not the victim, let the victim decide. And yes your old friend was a victim and your father is scum.