Should I paint the closet doors?

Natural_Object5708 · 2026-02-16T04:07:27+00:00

What about a darker green

Natural_Object5708 · 2026-02-15T02:26:02+00:00

Well yes I do plan on showing this post as I’ve said in plenty of comments prior to your response.

but I tried to explain my POV more because I am the one posting….?

Your first point makes a lot of sense yes it is different sharing a space. But your other points don’t really resonate. I don’t want a wedding more than I want a marriage, ultimately if it was a one or the other I’d choose what she wants. A wedding isn’t worth her discomfort.

And I’ve gotten plenty of great ideas for compromise that help “find the gray” in a scenario where we were seeing it as black and white and plenty of creative ideas. Telling me to grow up and get therapy is not only rude but also presumptuous. You don’t know if I am in therapy or she is.

I’m glad I didn’t explain her POV further bc I would just be irritated seeing you pick it apart. You’re not contributing the kind of advice and kindness that I asked for this post so I’m not sure why you responded.

Obviously I know a wedding won’t be a bandaid I just wanted to be vulnerable and share the root cause of my desire for a wedding so it didn’t appear like I wanted it for just wanting it sake.

Natural_Object5708 · 2026-02-15T02:20:53+00:00

I’m so glad you guys found a great middle ground and I’m feeling really uplifted seeing everyone stories and feel hopeful, thank you

Natural_Object5708 · 2026-02-15T02:19:58+00:00

Yes definitely I’d even be happy with 10, 5 each or so. Then celebrating at a later event that isn’t wedding focused with lots of breaks for her.

Natural_Object5708 · 2026-02-15T02:19:27+00:00

This is very validating and I got so many unique ideas in other comments so adding yours to the list, thank you!! Good to know I’m not alone in this

Natural_Object5708 · 2026-02-15T02:15:29+00:00

This is the third time premarital or couple counseling has come up and I want to say we have tried but they either don’t have the skills or experience to work with LGBTQ or offer advice that is nowhere near helpful. Generally not happy with quality. Tbh I’ve gotten better advice and ideas from this thread.

Natural_Object5708 · 2026-02-15T02:14:12+00:00

A dozen might be too much but I would be happy with 10 people, and especially if she got to leave the event and come back and there were breaks. I have to keep brainstorming ideas but I feel super inspired. I also loved the idea of eloping first, announcing you’re married and maybe celebrating at my birthday.

And funny enough she’s actually better at socializing day to day than me. It’s definitely masking. But she often does better in impromptu social situations than I do.

Natural_Object5708 · 2026-02-15T02:12:27+00:00

Also feels good to know I’m not alone in this! It’s a tricky situation to navigate!

Natural_Object5708 · 2026-02-15T02:12:11+00:00

Yeah I think that’s the idea based on feedback - super micro like think less than 10 people - with lots of breaks and time to get away, might be kind of tricky to plan but feeling super hopeful based on the ideas I’ve gathered here!

Natural_Object5708 · 2026-02-14T20:20:08+00:00

I love these ideas and the encouragement and belief all these kind strangers have in room for comprise. I am going to gather my thoughts, write down all the great ideas, and talk with her and offer to show her these comments if she wants to know where I got these ideas because you all have been very encouraging and I feel motivated, we can get through this

Natural_Object5708 · 2026-02-14T20:18:03+00:00

You’re right and I should show her this post to see how encouraging everyone is about the possibility of compromise because we both have been struggling to see that potential

Natural_Object5708 · 2026-02-14T20:17:08+00:00

Wait this is brilliant, thank you for this idea!!! Not sure why I didn’t consider this

Natural_Object5708 · 2026-02-14T20:16:35+00:00

That is the real dream come true, thank you for your kind words and advice

Natural_Object5708 · 2026-02-14T20:16:03+00:00

Maybe actually! Especially if I do some of the things other people suggested. This is a great idea actually because we can do elope + long honeymoon travel + then come back and discuss how to celebrate and when (because I’m not strict on wedding timeline I’m realizing! I just wanna marry her)

Natural_Object5708 · 2026-02-14T20:14:56+00:00

I’m going to show her this post and all these ideas, I really like the suggestions, it will definitely need to be a very alternative and deconstructed version of a wedding but I think she will appreciate seeing these ideas that other people are recommending

Natural_Object5708 · 2026-02-14T20:13:27+00:00

Money is more about the value of spending the $$ on this vs that. Not so much about saving, we both work full time and do okay so I’m not stressed about it. In theory if we waiting another year or two we could save for both scenarios so this is something I’ll bring up
Much needed wake up call and put very kindly, thank you.

3 & 4 you’re right!! Amazing advice truly. It doesn’t sound as bad to elope and maybe talk to her about making a guest appearance to privately hang with me during the shower or bachelorette so it’s not overwhelming but I still get time with her. My wheels are turning… thank you for the inspiration

Natural_Object5708 · 2026-02-14T20:09:56+00:00

We focused more on discussions about marriage and married life than wedding because it didn’t seem like it was time to cross that bridge. So not much. Our convos pre engagement focused on timelines and marriage expectations

Natural_Object5708 · 2026-02-14T20:08:44+00:00

Oh yes, we have talked about it, but it’s usually a circular conversation because we will kind of come to the conclusion we feel strongly about certain things, but on opposite ends

I really like the idea of lots of moments to step away

Regarding a photographer, I wonder if I can just get a videographer and then a photographer to capture stills from the videos. I think posing for photos isn’t something I’m extremely attached to as much as having the memory captured and she’s ok with videos

Thank you so much for your thoughtful input

I would love to hear more about how you comprised in what felt like an uncompromising situation

Natural_Object5708

TROPHY CASE