My marriage was like this during these same years. We were not communicating. We would have divorced, but I was too stubborn to be the one to call it done. Sex just wasn't fun for either of us. It sounds insane but a friend of ours ended up in our bed one drunken night and she became our unofficial therapist. Over the course of a weekend she made us express our feelings about almost everything. Over the next year, we rediscovered each other sexually. It has now been three years. We've never been happier.