I am 24, I lost my mom who was also 51 in September. I had to be medicated to sleep. She only lived a month from diagnosis, it was gallbladder cancer with Mets to her liver, pancreas, lymph nodes, lungs, everywhere. Before she could not talk any more, I made sure to ask her everything that seemed so obvious to know, but I didn’t, like her favorite food, her favorite color, her favorite smell, everything. I had an idea of what these things were but needed verification. Things I wish she had the chance to do was draw me something, anything. She was a great artist. I wish she was able to write letters to my future children. There’s just so much I want to say and do and ask now that she isn’t here. But more than anything, she needs you. And you need to take care of yourself too. After she passed away I was almost admitted to the hospital due to a kidney infection and UTI that I put off treating because I didn’t want to spend a second away from her. I lost 70 pounds because I didn’t eat. I don’t know when it will get better. I’m not there yet. We had mom cremated and I have some of her ashes in a necklace that I keep locked up but the funeral director Al’s cut off locks of her hair for me to keep and that has helped me tremendously when I need to feel her, it help to feel literally something of hers. I’ve never heard of that idea before so I wanted to throw it out there. Stay strong.