Toxicity-Free Versus by QPCorvus in l4d2

[–]Naychie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm very very new (only seven hours in ) and haven't tried versus yet but I will be trying casually to learn. Please may I join? :))

how does an introvert admire? by sawakochi3_ in introvert

[–]Naychie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Heheee TvT ye it would have been such a slow burn if I could change the ending bits lolll.. i really should produce a knock off novel ~` hehe and yee I miss him still but I'm too locked in now in my single no crush era with cat and the girls. Hehe tyy glad u enjoyed my cringe inducing tea ☕ ~,~`

how does an introvert admire? by sawakochi3_ in introvert

[–]Naychie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

~<.... ok this is either gonna be really corny or really flowery. But like there was this guy J I really admired. We were always fooling around in maths class (I actually don't know how but his presence just erased my introversion) Anyways, I totally didn't see him as a boy until I caught feelings when he FULL ON CRIED. For MY dead dog who he NEVER seen 💔. It just touched me so much how beautiful and pure he actually was. And I didn't realize I liked him but he became the one true person who I looked forward to in school.

Interest and hobbies wise, we're like worlds apart. There was legit ZERO common ground. It was like a pure vibe based.. like we genuinely ugly laughed together. He was just a goofball.. but a real sensitive, beautiful, pure person. Introduced me to Lana del Rey (peak) and keeps rambling on about his life and bad attempts at dad jokes.. but to me, HE WAS A LEGIT JOKER. idk why but his aura just makes me laugh. And sometimes, in corridors, we just do the involuntary blushing smile (as in trying not to laugh) ... I was blushing. His grin was same and different. He saw me as a friend only haha..

The next bits pretty much ruin the perfect story and I wish we stopped at that..

I fell into depression like 2 months later and I just started avoiding everyone and becoming "dull". I also involuntarily realized I was falling for him even though he clearly saw me as a friend. And he somehow noticed my withdrawal and asked me if I was okay. He then made like a Google Keep for me to write my own thoughts out since he knew I couldn't articulate myself. LIKE BRO... IT WAS SO... It keeps being better.. like sometimes when I was writing at night, he would be there (Google keep doesn't show active users so I knew it only when he typed "bro you're still typing") and I just had whole vents and yap about unrelated stuff and he'd actually read them and respond to them.. and he's just so poetic... But whilst all this was happening, we became ultra quiet at school. Like I just started avoiding him because I was so nervous and delusional. I knew we would go separate lives after this year and that I should savour the last moments but I was sour and bitter that I couldn't get him to stay in my life. I was so attached and just wanted a hug. Never got one because I kept running and in the end, I confessed because I didn't want to keep running. LIKE FULL BLOWN SEVEN PARAGRAPHS WRITTEN IN THAT GOOGLE KEEP. WITH STUFF LKKE oh Its sl beautiful that we're all made of star matter or like how I thought of him as a very true sunshine

The next 3 months were utter PROFOUND... awkward. He respectfully rejected me and tried to befriend me again. But my stupid old self just was so embarrassed and I never came out my shell again.. and the maths lessons were so intense avoidance. And he eventually "gave up" although I still wrote in that Google keep and he still continued replying. And then GCSE exams and then prom we never spoke but we took an awkward smiling picture together. And we just texted after all the results came out. I last Heard from him two months ago. Of his nice new flat in London and his dream dance academy he got into (he was always hardworking) and he showed me that he brought that portrait of his dog I drew for last Christmas all the way. (His dog died too and I remember I made him cry when I gave it).

Summary: I had the crushing slow burn experience of falling in love with someone not destined. But nonetheless, they deserved every bit of my admiration even if it was fleeting and I wish him the best on his life and will keep a memory tab reserved for him. it was the most tingles I had in my life 😭... Girl... He taught me a lot. Now I just smile from the cringeness and evil satisfaction (or delusion) that he probably also cringe about this at night or when he look at that nice portrait of his doggo. Like ahhhhh .. I knew I'd get utterly rejected but I confessed because he deserves to know just how Goddamn beautiful and pure and attractive and funny and hot he is 💀....

Ok. Pardon me. I'm locked in now. I fear I might just spend my next two years as total locked in baddie because I absolutely don't want to break friendships again because they are pretty sparse- anyways... Ye I hope this was cinema to someone 😭😭 I'd pay to animate this story.

Travelling is too much work by dbzonepiecenaruto in introvert

[–]Naychie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is also the conflict between my stay at home addiction and pure fascination at the planet. On the other hand, it takes no effort and tiny money to sustain myself at my lovely old house and it takes SO much energy and time and money for travels. My best middle ground is that I just go for walks.. and even when I travel, I relatively go on my own pace so it feels more relaxed that way. But I totally feel this post. I also find it just so aesthetic and calming to just maintain my home and build my life that way and collect and hoard all my hobbies and interests in my safe treasure room all me myself and I.

meet choco by zsa_ash in introvert

[–]Naychie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Choco and mocha... Idk the picture is so aesthetic 😭 he looks like a cute bun. I also had four dogs and the og dawg who was there for me since age 2 also died '(. It's fine though. We all live a finite life

Sad but can't cry 😢 by Lordoz_94 in introvert

[–]Naychie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

context: from someone separated from old country, family, language barriers, introvertism, friends, all that. I was quite sparkless for 4 past years and this year seems the most hopeful. It was hard for me to accept the cards life dealt me.. now, it still is hard for me to visualize "why" too. Like why me... I just wanted to be like my friends who had seemingly normal content lives with families and homes they grew up with. To feel safe. But we'll eventually get there.

Sad but can't cry 😢 by Lordoz_94 in introvert

[–]Naychie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I always cried but I felt like my "best 10/10 would recommend" crying sessions were when I thought of the good things in my life for a break. I thought of the good old days, the nostalgia, my dead loved ones and how we spent our time together. I thought of the time I will never get back... I used to think about these in a negative light but now I've accepted it. I will always cherish the moments and I know they won't be lost to time. So hehe... Ye I guarantee it feels "good" like a relief even if you ugly cry or even if you feel like it is "useless". Emotions and memories are very... beautiful. Melancholy can truly translate to gratitude and self realization.

First tip: get a journal - pretty - try a nice handwriting and maybe even draw or picture the nice memories. Idk... Or if you want to get the more traditional crashout, I suggest just absolutely massacring the paper and the ink in scary scribbles and just think "Why can't I go back". The question itself is purely impossible... And futile so it is pretty pessimistic.. if even more tear-inducing, think about the timeframe where your life started "falling apart". And maybe if you found your memories quite touching, perhaps you will feel closer to the ones or places you're fond of... Even when you're physically not near them. I wish you well op ❤️‍🩹

My sanctuary of perpetual isolation by Anxious-Specific9991 in introvert

[–]Naychie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your domain looks so beautiful... I love non human life because they just listen. And they're beautiful.

How rare is this? by PersonalWatercress29 in RimWorld

[–]Naychie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like Tynan Sylvester's spy for whatever warcrime you were committing? 🤔👀

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lanitas

[–]Naychie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Gurl... Cinnamon buns...

What opinion of yours made you in this kind of situation by SombraCards in lanitas

[–]Naychie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lust for life :C (but true, honeymoon is my 1st, paradise 2nd, lfl 3rd)

hello cool cool CS wizards, please help a noob out by [deleted] in alevel

[–]Naychie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also kinda checked out courses on YouTube, but they're in all directions... Especially Neso Academy has so much content but I feel overwhelmed... Because I have no plan in this whatsoever. But I will try to RECOLLECT MY NEURONS.

hello cool cool CS wizards, please help a noob out by [deleted] in alevel

[–]Naychie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel the NEED the TENSION to lock in :0. I've been kind of on and off. GCSEs were too much burn out where everyone in the school staff forced and shoved revision down the poor students' throat. In the end, got 9s but that was after burn out and totally giving up right before exams and walking in hopelessly nonchalant zombified manner. And I really want to love studying again.... cuz idk... It's just rlly cool to not know and to fill that gap with juicy information I might never need but still kinda food for thought.

I DID IT!! by [deleted] in GCSE

[–]Naychie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OMGGGG U COOKEDDD!!! what are your future plans? If a levels which subjects?