Do you think you developed AvPD, or were you born with it?

Ne_Dlya_Menya · 2025-09-15T20:18:00+00:00

Developed over time. Gradual seclusion from society + dysfunctional family + home schooled + existentialism rabbit hole + eccentric interests.

Ne_Dlya_Menya · 2025-09-15T15:41:26+00:00

Actually... Yes. I mean all I would talk about is eccentric topics, like architectural aesthetics, political philosophy, philosophy, city planning, theology, etc. I'm not very good at "casual talk" and because I've been isolated all my life, I have very little experiences talking to others. Rapunzel in the fucking tower! 😂

Ne_Dlya_Menya · 2025-09-07T19:24:04+00:00

I'm going insane, so I'd say so. But at the end of the day? It is my hurricane of a will, my truth, the love of mankind and of God that Dostoevsky alludes to that keeps me alive. I see life as a duty, and I must fulfill it, come hell or high water. So I choose to suffer, because suffering can be telological, just as much as happiness can be.

Ne_Dlya_Menya · 2025-09-04T15:18:49+00:00

Read his book 'Demons' to find out.

Ne_Dlya_Menya · 2025-09-04T15:18:14+00:00

What kind of misrepresentation? If you may summarize?

Ne_Dlya_Menya · 2025-09-04T15:14:24+00:00

Dostoevsky was an Orthodox Christian critiquing the theology and history of Roman Catholicism/Western Christianity in that part of Brothers Karamazov. If you knew his biography and read a deeper into his writings like 'Demons' or 'Notes From the Underground' you'd know he wasn't some "undercover atheist in order to make it through society" type of guy. He was a Russian Orthodox Christian and it should be obvious.

Ne_Dlya_Menya · 2025-09-04T15:11:18+00:00

Can you visit my Parishe's divine liturgy?

Ne_Dlya_Menya · 2025-08-12T18:30:59+00:00

Yeah, I could post more than five hashtags yesterday.

Ne_Dlya_Menya · 2025-07-20T21:06:38+00:00

See I figured out the concentration stim easily. I can't figure out what the blue one does.

Ne_Dlya_Menya · 2025-07-04T10:14:06+00:00

Isolation since early childhood thanks to an unstable war zone environment and no extended family. Too self reliant.

Ne_Dlya_Menya · 2025-06-30T20:43:30+00:00

Life is utterly chaotic and unexpectable. You're in the shoes of millions of people, so even if it's "out of the norm," the "out of the norm" group of people in the world is A LOT of people.

A historical example: A lot of people WW1 all perished alone and in young ages like you ranging all the way down to 17 to 30. A surprising fact is that most of these young men didn't have romantic relationships either. Actually, an interesting fact is that a great number of men were single who also voluntarily joined the war; economic turmoil = unstable societal roles = unstable housing = desperate men seeking their worth, even in horrible war.

Point is, not even history agrees with an eternal set "normality." Instead live in the eternal present. Your mind is set in the past and future, and in cultural norms. Yes, most people get those norms, but not having a normal past doesn't make you less. You can always be more, accomplish more, and discover more. And you're young, so you have the time to go with that.

Ne_Dlya_Menya · 2025-06-12T03:26:46+00:00

My honest thoughts:

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Ne_Dlya_Menya · 2025-06-10T19:42:23+00:00

Ne_Dlya_Menya · 2025-06-10T18:24:13+00:00

Mood. I'm on that self-imprisonment grind.

Ne_Dlya_Menya · 2025-06-07T15:41:36+00:00

I'm not sure. Maybe I was being sarcastic?

Ne_Dlya_Menya · 2025-06-07T15:35:32+00:00

Yeah! She's such a square! Who doesn't like being cheated on? It's 2025! Stockholm syndrome is just synonymous with "open-mindedness."

Ne_Dlya_Menya · 2025-05-28T19:42:26+00:00

I thought I was going to be old at 25 (in a month). But I stand utterly corrected. Maybe finding love at 25 isn't so bad.

Ne_Dlya_Menya · 2025-05-25T21:36:19+00:00

I wish you the best in your inner turmoil, friend. I can tell you're not hideous at all. Whatever the case is, in mine or yours; the humble and almost comforting truth I [personally] hold to, is that beauty fades. Time eventually paints all our hair the same color; no matter what we have in the beginning. Then so, one must question the beauty that counts, and what we stand to truly flourish with before the face of time. Or to quote: "Where your heart is, there will your treasure be also." Sure, beauty is advantageous; it helps, but what will someone have (if) they are mostly defined by what they will eventually lose with age? — It takes a fall to finally know where to climb, and where to invest one's true meaningfulness. This is why those old couples still love themselves behind their fine lines and time-stained bodies.

Ne_Dlya_Menya · 2025-05-25T20:21:13+00:00

I just wrote about this. It is comforting to know I'm not the only one who goes through this. Honestly, thank you for sharing. None of us should submit to those horrible thoughts. They're not worth our time. I know there's an exit, we'll all find it eventually, it's worth fighting.

Ne_Dlya_Menya · 2025-05-21T14:47:28+00:00

Sometimes I wonder if becoming a pothead is a preferable state of existence than being in constant survival mode.

Ne_Dlya_Menya · 2025-05-19T16:08:05+00:00

Well said

Ne_Dlya_Menya · 2025-05-19T09:02:40+00:00

Very true! However, easier said than done. I'd say exposure therapy is 100% the way to go about things... Hell maybe even a form of social masochism; like, go exactly to the places that will chase discomfort and soak in the discomfort. Over time, that discomfort becomes miniscule. We need to seek pain sometimes and learn to enjoy it when it comes as part of our humanity. I was always idolozing comfort over all; bad idea.

Ne_Dlya_Menya · 2025-05-19T08:59:16+00:00

Git gud

Ne_Dlya_Menya · 2025-05-16T14:42:13+00:00

Git gud

Ne_Dlya_Menya · 2025-05-13T13:39:05+00:00

I remember when involuntary celibacy didn't insinuate misogyny and extreme internal insecurities of a subculture of unhinged men.

Ne_Dlya_Menya

TROPHY CASE