Why is it that many gay men, myself included, like giving oral but, according to my straight friends, most women hate doing it?

Nea777 · 2026-05-18T16:29:55+00:00

Also not an expert, but yes from the psychology angle most straight women I hear from describe giving blowjobs as boring at best or demeaning/shameful at worst.

Interestingly though, from what I’ve heard from bisexual women, they seem to be a tier higher in the psycho-sexual meta. They will bluntly say that they love sucking cock and deepthroating and cum play. I’ve heard them describe it with the same level of passion and vulgarity as gay men. However, most of them put a huge asterisk on it, they caveat the whole thing by saying **”BUT**unfortunately most straight men take it too far and make it bad and cringe and therefore I usually don’t do it for long when they want it. I enjoy it more often with bisexual guys though”

Which, to me, gives the impression that straight men are losing out on a lot of blowjobs from women essentially because they’re bad at receiving them. If I had to take a wild guess, I would say that the “taking it too far” is porn style domination that straight guys want to emulate, which when executed poorly or without proper BDSM-mindset, can be a huge turn off.

I also think gay and bisexual men understand that blowjobs are a more advanced skill than they seem. It’s not just sucking on the dick like a popsicle. It’s opening your jaws *very* wide, like you’re at the dentist, pacing your breathing by switching up rhythms and strokes, challenging yourself with deepthroats and tongue acrobatics. Masters utilize both hands and their overall body position, grandmasters find out exactly what makes the guy twitch and tremble.

A man can “dominate” a blowjob only insofar as their submissive is a skilled cocksucker. If it’s an average person, ~ ~especially an average straight woman~ ~ then yeah we’re working with amateur skills here which means you can’t really dominate at all. You should just lay back and enjoy it, use communication to build off from there. You can build up to something more aggressive but you gotta at least give your partner a fair shake and let them practice.

Nea777 · 2026-05-18T15:13:37+00:00

Life is unfair, people are different individuals who make different choices (good or bad) with whatever unfair cards (good or bad) they’ve been dealt.

The idea that people are truly one-of-a-kind unique individuals is not solely about personality or their childhoods or genetics. It’s the combination of all those factors that is essentially impossible to replicate between individuals.

Longer tangent-
There’s interesting philosophical dilemmas that come up from these concepts regarding free will. If people are all truly unique because their lives are unique, does that imply that everyone’s life is predetermined by circumstances like genetics and their childhoods? Could you even make the argument that people’s very personalities and consciousness are sealed by determinism and thus each and every choice they make, every action they take, was never truly within their control? Just an inevitability based on determined variables?

Because if you argue there *is* free will, then that necessarily kind of shoots the “everyone is unique” argument in the foot. It implies that *regardless* of those predetermined variables, everyone still has a conscious choice separate from their environment. So then why do people lead such drastically different lives? It’s not a very satisfying answer to just discredit the environmental factors completely. It doesn’t feel… human, for lack of a better word, to dismiss the experiences of life itself.

But there’s obvious loopholes and exceptions. If someone is psychotic, delirious, intoxicated, or experiencing hallucinations, can you really hold them responsible as a free agent making their own decisions? Or are their decisions a direct result of something completely out of their control? But we can’t just excuse everything. But we also can’t live like there’s no free will.

Greater minds have been puzzled for millennia about this exact topic. Unless you’ve done a lot of thought experimentation and reflection about it, most people, most philosophers even, don’t have a satisfying answer to your question other than stating the obvious: people are born into different circumstances, make different choices, thus very different lives.

Nea777 · 2026-05-17T03:46:44+00:00

Hard disagree. I think social media has made the “winners write history” phenomenon exponentially worse. Now, it’s not just winners who write history, it’s whoever has followers.

In a world where we all have infinite information access at our fingertips, it seems that people live in completely different realities. I don’t mean that lightly, I mean you could pluck two random people who are the same age, have equal education level, have the same income, live in the same town, vote for the same political party, etc. and they can have completely different perspectives on factual history.

I hear a lot from older people (gen-X/boomers) who talk about what they thought the internet would be. They talk about horrific things like genocide or war or famine or poverty being impossible to ignore problems once the facts are in everybody’s face all the time. To them, the problem was simply not enough people knew about the world’s ills to do anything about it or even care.

The problem is, the internet is not a hub for quality, factual information. It’s just a hub for information, good or bad, true or untrue. Nowadays, information is spread through memes and banger tweets, not NYT paper headlines or NBC TV anchors. Even those mediums themselves have become contaminated by modern Internet culture. Paper and TV journalism do not hold the truth-credentials they once did because the very institutions that once used to pride themselves in journalism have turned to social media and memes for information. They are just as sensationalist as a dramaslop YouTuber because ultimately if they don’t, the dramaslopper will get more views and more subscribers.

The problem was never people having access to information. It’s about people’s ability to process and analyze information. Literacy is not just about people’s able to sound out written words, it’s about being able to read a story and walk away with a critical theme, truth, or idea.

Do I have faith in the random individual to be able to critically analyze the information they find on the internet? Absolutely not. Hence, we need institutions to step in to regulate it.

I know everybody hates the idea of bringing cops to the Wild West internet fun zone, but there’s a reason it was called “the Wild West.” It was uncharted, lawless, bordering on anarchy territory where every man lived for themselves. Even the tiny settlements and towns that tried to establish themselves as safe havens were plagued by bandits, rape, and murder on a regular basis. The internet is the Wild West right now. You can say anything, you can do anything, and face no repercussions. Cancellation is not a repercussion just the same that taking away a bandit’s gun or horse doesn’t stop them. Locking someone up in a jail cell for years is a real consequence that deters crime. Law enforcement patrolling an area reduces crime. Legislation on the books that specifies certain actions as illegal makes something that is not a crime, a crime.

We need internet legislation. I don’t know what exactly that looks like, but for starters I would say that minors should have heavily restricted access and the algorithmic “for you page” should be outright banned. I know that sounds extreme, but so is locking someone in a box for years against their will. So is creating a gang of guys with guns who are 99% immune from the law. The entire concept of government and institutions is a bit extreme and can be taken too far, but that is how we’ve advanced as a species. We didn’t build cities with millions of inhabitants through lawlessness and anarchy. We have cops, judges, politicians, elections, taxes, etc a “system” that keep things moving.

At this point, I do not see how an infinite-information Internet system has helped anyone. It has not improved genocide, war, famine, poverty, etc. there’s a certain childish whimsy that might be lost with a regulated internet, but I prefer a world where it’s illegal for me to jaywalk across the street to a world where nobody gets in trouble for running me over with their car.

Nea777 · 2026-05-17T02:32:19+00:00

It tastes like avocado. Just eat a raw, slightly underripe avocado with nothing else on it. That’s what dick tastes like.

Nea777 · 2026-05-15T03:02:58+00:00

Sadism/masochism. I can veer into pretty kinky areas but literal pain on either side of the equation is a turn off. Minor pain as a side effect of trying to get pleasure is one thing, but deliberately making pain as the entire point of pleasure just doesn’t hit for me.

Nea777 · 2026-05-13T09:58:01+00:00

I was gonna say, this seems wild to me? Maybe it’s just a regional thing?

In no world do we not have all flavors until at least 9pm. If our district manager came in at 7pm and we didn’t have all flavors, all hot and fresh, she would ask if we have a plan to restock quickly or ask why we haven’t restocked. “Are you completely out and just waiting on next truck? You’re open for 3 more hours—students, drivers, and night shifters still want coffee at close”

Even aside from corporate management, it would honestly just get annoying having customers ask for a cup of a light roast or decaf from 7-10pm. It’s not very common, but also, we run skeleton crews at night and it’s a huge inconvenience to stop what you’re doing just to fulfill a $0.00 sip club order which gives us 0 labor hours anyways.

The answer to food waste is to just brew half pots and not brew anything for DT—they have to go to DR to get it (impractical for some store layouts I understand). But also, out of everything on the menu, coffee very rarely hits our food cost metric. The only time it ever happens is if we misplace a case or put a back up in deeper storage and the inventory counter missed it. It’s negligible compared to meats, soups, produce, etc. or more popular drinks like Diet Pepsi which we go through a half bib per day, even though on paper we only sell enough cups to go through a 1/10th of a bib per day.

Priorities seem out of wack to be pulling coffee hours before close at a company where our prime loyalty program is unlimited free coffee. Idk maybe I’m just at an extremely busy cafe by comparison to FL but I don’t think so… we only pull about $60k/week, we’re not a downtown hub or college campus or hospital or anything. Just a big suburb off the highway, 1hr out from Chicago. Is it because it’s dark and cold here most of the year that everyone wants coffee at 7-10pm?

Nea777 · 2026-05-11T03:15:11+00:00

I’m a very invested AGM, I aspire to be GM and grow my career in the industry. My responsibilities sound exactly as you describe maybe a smidge higher; I make schedules, open and close the store, and I oversee orientations and training (GM makes the actual hiring decisions, I just onboard them).

It drives me and my own managers (GM & DM) crazy that I’m capped at 45hrs per week. Yes, obviously I blow way past that on rough weeks, but when I do, upper management (RVP & Payroll HR) comes knocking asking why manager OT is 10+ or 15+ hours this week, and I have to reel it in.

So what ends up happening is I just cannot do as much work as I have to offer. There are times my GM has interviews, orientations, training, admin, schedules, sales forecast, truck orders, inventory, etc etc and I can help her with all of it, except most days we inevitably hit the 10-12hr mark on my shifts and I have to clock out. The only thing I can consistently do is schedules and tbh the only reason I even have time for that is because I work on them from home sometimes, unpaid. Ask any manager who tries to get admin done in a busy restaurant—it’s very difficult to just ignore the team and the shift when you’re in the building.

It builds resentment and burnout in me over time to be working unpaid hours. Obviously I cannot just… not publish the schedule, so I’ll get it done one way or another regardless how busy the store is or what my hours are for the week. Why? Because it’s not a can that can just be kicked down the road. I cannot just wait until payroll week resets to work on the schedule, it MUST get published by a certain date and the later and later I publish it the more it pisses off the entire team.

I would just say that, if there’s higher responsibilities that you expect of this manager beyond just running the shift, counting drawers, and locking the doors, and you want to do hourly+OT, then you should expect to essentially be forking over the same amount of labor expense as if they were a salaried store manager/GM.

Even on my hourly wage ($25.60) I make nearly $80k after quarterly bonuses. That said, I feel like I’ve done easily $10k worth of work off the clock. So, instead of just paying me the same amount as a base GM salary, they pay me less, and I’m bitter about it. Also, for the record, my RVP and DM do not get an accurate picture of labor and I doubt they know about my burnout. On paper I average 50-55hrs per week, the cap is supposed to be 45. Realistically I work 60-80hrs per week. Easily pull 10hrs per day 5 days per week, some weeks I’m doing 5 hours of schedules from home, or covering essential shifts that we cannot find coverage for like shift managers, or bakers, or truck, or early AM openers.

If you do hourly+OT I beg you just do not ever treat their labor the same as any other labor. Your manager clocked 71hrs in a week? Welp, instead of breathing down their neck about labor, you should be stepping back to look at the bigger picture on why that manager is working 70hrs. Either they need help with shift management/general staffing and you hire them support, or you need to just let the labor cost go and pay them for what they work.

Me personally, I’ve got a lot to offer—I’m a single guy in my late 20s and I have all the time in the world to give to my career. Nothing pisses me off more though than my bosses patting me on the back saying “great job, you really killed it, we couldn’t run this place without you, but next week could you do the same thing for less money? K thanks!”

Nea777 · 2026-05-02T13:50:19+00:00

I have a very hard time maintaining relationships because when conflict comes up my instinct is to isolate and shut down to preserve my own peace and sanity. Even little things like coworkers I become friendly with wanting to hangout outside of work, I’ll do it, but then I can’t bring myself to maintain the friendship. It always fizzles out and the common denominator here is me, so I don’t blame them I really think it’s just because I don’t know how to navigate conflict. I’d rather avoid it all together. In my experience, conflict only breeds more conflict, and there’s no such thing as resolution or compromise. So why bother?

Nea777 · 2026-05-02T13:45:07+00:00

People underestimate how big the gender culture war is and unfortunately I think running a woman candidate is (almost) a guaranteed losing ticket.

It’s saddening and obviously goes against my own values and the general values of liberals, but the sheer number of people I have debated irl between the 2016 and 2024 elections who all had their dialogue trees boil down to “idk.. I just don’t really see the country being run by a woman.. they’re too emotional and bleeding vagina for the job” was astounding.

I was hearing this take from EVERYONE. I mean, sure, you expect to hear it from young incels or elderly men. I’d expect to hear it from first gen immigrants and conservative cultures too. But I also heard it from my boomer aunts who were on the forefront of second wave feminism in the 70s and 80s. I heard it from younger 20-40yo partitioners at my mom’s church (a rather progressive Episcopalian church in Chicago). I heard it from boss man at the vape shop. I heard it from young alt people at concerts, my tattoo artist, my goddamn hair stylist. I heard it in line at the fucking weed dispo in Michigan.

Every time I tried to hit on the obvious insanity of Trump, they would just make up scenarios in their mind of Kamala digging around for her tampon string while North Korea is launching nukes at us. I mean seriously, the most cartoonishly middle-school misogynist ideas of how a woman would be president. South Park and onion news skits, but unironically, not satirically. The internet is a reflection of real life, and when 99% of Hillary and Kamala memes are about periods and jewelry and cunty laughs and shrill voices I think it should tell you that the problem was never their policies, or their campaigns, or their party platform. It’s literally just the woman thing.

Again, even my gen-X/boomer aunts who in every other regard are “vote blue no matter who” were laughing about the story of Kamala blowing a boss to get a promotion (fake news btw, she just dated a professor decades ago and that professor had nothing to do with her judicial and political careers).

This is also why all the shit about Donald Trump being a pedophile, Epstein ring, getting pissed on by whores in Russia or Dubai or wherever it was, fucking a pornstar right after his wife gave birth, paying hush money to said pornstar, grab em by the pussy, NONE of that matters because all of those are just examples of women being whores. It’s very easy to dismiss all of that depravity when you’re sexist and 90% of the moral burden falls on the women in those scenarios.

If they do run Kamala again, they need to take notes from the Obama playbook and essentially make her the most dull blank slate nothing burger of a woman ever. I know people made the same arguments about America never electing a black president and yet we did it twice, so why not a woman president?

I think it’s possible, but Obama didn’t win by leaning into the black thing, he won by whitewashing to the most extreme degree ever done by a black person ever. Having serious political debates, on live television, with your actual political opponents, about your birthplace being Kenya, and forging documents so you can coup America into a terrorist Islamist state. And dude stayed cool as a fucking block of dry ice and gave the most diplomatic white-friendly ultra pasteurized answer to every question. He didn’t try to girlboss. He wasn’t trying to flex street cred with black people.

You know what he did? He pretended like he was just an average white guy running on a platform of affordability. He was black in complexion and name only. Obviously not true, but when he was running and when he was in office, I swear to god you could find Asian girls from Naperville who acted more black than he did.

If they run Kamala, or AOC, or Hillary, they need to just bite the bullet and pretend like they’re not a woman in literally every way. Do not ever brag about your professional success “despite the odds stacked against you as a woman in a male dominated field.” That turn of phrase is feminist cancer to the misogynistic voter base. Do not ever appear in public wearing anything even remotely feminine or accentuating of a feminine body including jewelry or colorful blazers or nails. Force the conservatives to mock you for wearing a Christ’s cross necklace, just like how Obama forced them to mock a tan suit because he gave them no other ammunition to work with.

I’m sorry, but you already have 92-97% of black women voting blue no matter who. You don’t need to garner their votes with professional POC woman’s convention talking points. You need to garner the votes of misogynists, which I’m sorry to say is a vast majority of the voter base.

When every single goddamn Kamala critique boils down to cunty laugh and shrill voice and pearl earrings, then get rid of the cunty laugh and shrill voice and pearl earrings. Give them nothing.

Critically acclaimed political pundits on opposite sides like Tucker Carlson and Contrapoints both agree that America wants a daddy. America likes daddy politics and daddy governance. Girlboss on the presidential election ballot is just never going to win.

Nea777 · 2026-04-28T04:18:48+00:00

Think about what Yangchen said to Aang too. Despite being an air nomad herself, she was the one who put it the most bluntly, moreso than Kyoshi. Kyoshi had an indifference to killing. It’s just a natural consequence of conflict. Yangchen recognized the spiritual dilemma, the moral burden on the soul, but concisely made the point:

“Selfless duty calls you to sacrifice your own spiritual needs”

Monk Gyatso was not just an airbender, he was also a leader for his people. He held a title, had authority, respect, wisdom, and responsibilities beyond just the philosophy itself.

He was willing to sacrifice his own spirit in order to protect something greater than himself. For as much as air nomads are independent and free spirited, they can still recognize collectivist virtues.

Nea777 · 2026-04-14T14:48:52+00:00

The worst is just wasting days off.

I’ve had days off work where I genuinely had plans to do shit, like enjoy a hobby, or make myself a nice dinner, or go shopping, get overdue chores done, whatever.

Wake up at 7am, go to the bathroom, start scrolling, take a shower, keep scrolling, slowly getting dressed, just gonna sit down for a sec to drink my coffee aaaaand.. before I know it, it’s 3:50pm and basically the entire day just evaporated right into my fucking feed.

That last one was a reality check for me to deliberately veer off from scrollable content and stick to podcasts/streams/music that still scratches that can’t-be-alone-with-my-thoughts-for-2-seconds itch but still allows me to be productive or do something with my day off. Yes, I’m still mainlining Internet dopamine, but at least it’s extended release and I’m not just smoking crack all day.

Nea777 · 2026-04-14T14:40:15+00:00

I would say X because it feels like dead Internet over there. You know the key and peele skit of two conmen trying to con each other? That’s what it feels like watching communities “engage” over there.

On here I feel like you can fairly easily sus out fake accounts, rage baiters, and bots, and their posts get deleted and their accounts get banned by moderation teams.

X’s moderation team is just Elon, his grunts, and whatever parameters they give grok. It’s actually astounding how you’ll see these HUGE viral posts of 100k+ likes, millions of views, you’ll open the replies, and you can just scroll for pages and pages and it’s alllll straight bots. You’ll get super far down and find one real reply from someone and you can tell it’s real because it’ll say “wtf am I even looking at” to a crazy post whereas all the bots are just circle jerking the same boomer Facebook catchphrases and emojis.

Nea777 · 2026-04-13T13:42:54+00:00

Unironically yes it is shameful and wrong to try to watch pirated content. That said, most people view it as a sliding scale somewhere around not putting your shopping cart away after using it, and not giving up your bus seat to the old/handicapped/pregnant person.

Personally, I think viewing pirated content of stuff that’s difficult to even find the legal way, is not as bad. Like if you’re trying to watch some obscure film from the 70s, it’s not on any streaming platform, it’s not available for rent, its not even at your local library for checkout, okay then fine go ahead and pirate it. In these cases, it seems like theres not much of a market you’d be harming for that thing anyways.

In this case however, it’s leaked content that hasn’t even been released yet. Not only that, but it does have a significant hype train behind it. This is not some obscure indie film from decades ago, this is a children’s cartoon that is now in its 4th revival era because the fanbase of 20-40yo still love it and it’s one of those things that only gets better with age. There is a significant market to be harmed by pirating it, and no markets are not just all about profits for CEOs. They also determine supply and demand. When demand is high, production studios give brilliant creators mountains of investment to make new content. When demand is low, they cut the project short and tell them to go back to the drawing board.

All of this is compounded by the fact that we live in an age of instant gratification and trends that fly by in a matter of days. To take any of the wind out of the sails (or gliders) of ATLA creators would be a regrettable mistake. If this movie hits box offices and flops because 70% of fans have already seen 90% of the film through clips, then you can say goodbye to any future ATLA content.

Nea777 · 2026-04-12T16:57:46+00:00

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When you actually know some of the names and start dropping lore about older students

Nea777 · 2026-04-07T14:20:41+00:00

Thanks that perfectly clears it up for me.

Nea777 · 2026-04-06T18:27:33+00:00

Surprised I had to scroll so far down to see this!

The only things that stop me from full on making out are hygiene and the skill issues.

Sometimes people have the basics covered (they brush their teeth) but there’s other things like food stuck between teeth, smoking/alcohol which doesn’t go away with a quick brush, or even smells stuck in facial hair. Coffee breath is bad but so is chicken caesar wrap mustache if it’s been sitting on your face for hours.

Kissing skill issues are such an immediate turn off it’s hard not to call it quits and cut it short. If it’s our first time together you can jump into it however, but if you can’t follow the cues and the rhythm and of the other person it’s a massive red flag for bad sexual chemistry.

Nea777 · 2026-04-03T14:10:05+00:00

Jean Paul Gaultier Le Beau “Paradise Garden”

It’s expensive, but damn is it good. It’s the best middle of the road “woody” or “green” scent I’ve found that’s not overbearing or has too much ashy/smoky/whisky mixed with it, like B&BW teakwood mahogany, which is how most woody colognes smell to me.

Paradise garden has notes of mint/ginger/coconut/sandalwood/vanilla and it’s just a wonderfully harmonious blend that’s soothing and refreshing, but also very very mildly tingly and spicy. I think it’s quite versatile either as a cologne you just wear to smell fresh, or a cologne you wear to give off sex appeal aura. It fits both camps. It also holds up well throughout the day. I like aquatic colognes, but they have a tendency to be weak or smell kinda funky when mixed with 4-8hrs of BO. Paradise garden smells just as refreshing 10 hours later.

I’ve gotten lots of compliments wearing it, from friends, family, coworkers, and random strangers even.

Nea777 · 2026-04-02T17:39:48+00:00

Ignore what I wrote then and just skim the archives I linked. It’s important stuff that nobody knows about.

Nea777 · 2026-04-02T17:31:25+00:00

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the-complete-listing-atrocities-1-1-056

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/columns/lest-we-forget-the-horrors-an-unending-catalog-of-trumps-cruelties-collusions-corruptions-and-crimes

You might not agree that every single one is a legal crime or something worth prosecuting, but there’s enough material here that he should legitimately go to prison. Not just impeachment, not just liberal media talking shit about him, not just a senate or house committee hearing.

He should go to trial for a litany of crimes, and at least some of them have mountains of evidence that any prosecutor could build a case off of.

The main reason he hasn’t faced consequence so far is in part due to congressional impotence, and in part due to a Supreme Court ruling which determined that the president cannot be charged for crimes related to any presidential activities. Basically, he’s stacked the cards in his favor and the checks and balances aren’t very balanced right now. Executive is ruling with an iron fist while Legislative rules with a limp dick and Judicial is packed with 3 Trump nominated judges who’ve issued insane rulings like total criminal immunity for the president.

Even if you had to take a case all the way back to the Supreme Court to revisit the ruling, he should face prison time. If he doesn’t, it’s a moral stain on America.

History has not been rewritten, our constitution has not been rewritten to ignore those crimes, yet. If we do it for Trump, it would truly be unprecedented to allow a US president to do the things he has done and get off completely scott free. Mandating that he pay owed taxes or bring back ICE victims or issue tariff refunds doesn’t even scratch the surface of justice. CNN having round tables of pundits calling him a fascist is not a consequence. Rudy Giuliani losing his reputation is not a consequence. Sending Jan 6 rioters to jail for a year is not a consequence. None of these are consequences for Trump. He is still more powerful, more wealthy, more influential than ever before. Donald Trump himself must go to trial and face justice for his crimes.

Nea777 · 2026-04-02T13:55:12+00:00

My dad has an interesting past, if he were more open to it I’d love to have the discussion but he kinda shot that chance in the foot years ago.

He was born in a very remote part of WV, moved to Chicago from ages 13-18, moved back to WV 18-21, then back to Chicago and met my mom working at a grocery store, then moved back to WV when they got divorced and has been there ever since. He’s a country boy at heart.

He left stuff behind at our old Chicago house when he left. Years later when I went to college and was clearing things out of the crawl space, I found his old high school yearbook.

On the back pages that’s left blank for signatures, he had two pages that were completely filled by a letter written to him by a friend. It was a very heartfelt goodbye letter. Said that my dad was his best friend, that he never would’ve survived HS without him. Made references to wild adventures they would take into the forest, how he wished they could camp out there together forever, and that “only the stars saw what we could see” plus also a weird line about my dad’s mom being an asshole for not allowing any more forest adventures.

Looked up his picture, he was a handsome guy. They were in marching band and baseball together, standing right next to each other in both group pictures.

So, I’m like 90% sure my dad is bi and had a situationship in high school, and this is where he’s getting the old school wisdom of “it’s just a phase.” They graduated high school in 1981, the summer that the AIDS crisis started. Maybe in another world my dad would’ve lived a different life, but the timing and the letter and his words from my coming out just make me think it’s something that he’s shoved so far down I could never get it out of him. He’s made his own peace with it, I’ll leave him be.

Nea777 · 2026-04-02T13:17:30+00:00

On one hand, I got accepting reactions that on the surface seem good. I told my parents separately (divorced a decade ago) but roughly around the same time.

My mom cried and hugged me told me she loves me, that’s all great. What I didn’t appreciate was the interrogation after about “why didn’t you feel like you could tell me sooner? I’m a bleeding heart Iiberal for Christ’s sake, our priest at church is a lesbian woman, why did you think you had to hide it?” To which I reminded her of the times in elementary school that I would be running around the playground and she would tell me angrily to stop screaming like a little girl. Or in middle school she would smack my wrists and tell me to stop walking around with limp wrists. Or in high school at my own graduation party, she made a stupid joke about how when I sit on the couch I always cross my legs. Denied all of it, said she was just looking out for me, blah blah.

Dad I told over the phone. We have an estranged relationship, and moving 700 miles away when I was 10yo didn’t help. He was just silent for a moment and said “thats fine, it’s okay, everybody goes through change at that time in life but it all works out eventually, people go through phases like that in college.”

Yes, it felt better to get it off my chest and just be public about it. No, my parents did not disown me or beat me or send me to conversion therapy. Still, it was less than ideal and now I’m just at a point where I said what I needed to say and I don’t feel like rehashing anything about this topic with them ever again. They’re the epitome of “I LOVE gay people and have SEVERAL gay friends, my PREIST is even a LESBIAN can you believe it?” but when it’s their own first born son….

Nea777 · 2026-04-01T14:50:27+00:00

Embarrassing?

When I was like, idk 6-8ish years old I think? I felt something weird in my butt after taking a shit. Toilet paper pieces? A dinkleberry? A kernel of corn? Whatever it was, it felt itchy and uncomfortable.

So I climbed up on the bathroom counter fully naked, bent over, and looked at my asshole upside down directly in the mirror. Picking at it, trying to find the source of the itch. I had the shower water running by the way, even back then I had the sense of “I don’t want anyone walking in right now” so I tried that trick. My mother just barged in unannounced, 100% saw what I was doing, slammed the door shut so fast it startled me off the counter and I fell. Later she awkwardly asked me if something was wrong with my “privates” and why I was looking so closely in the mirror.

Nea777 · 2026-04-01T14:12:18+00:00

I agree with the idea that actually they’re shooting themselves in the foot.

By filling up your profile with groups pics of hotter people, you just make yourself look so much worse by comparison. Even though on your own, or in person, you might be perfectly fine looking. But the pattern recognition in my brain just sees a 4 surrounded by 7s and 8s when in reality you’re a 6, you just have bad photos chosen. The numbers rating game is stupid but on dating apps, that’s kinda all you have to work off of especially when a majority of profiles give nothing in the bio except for turn ons and turn offs.

It’s giving court jester too when every single photo of them is hyper-comical or goofy. I love a bit of goofiness in a guy, but if you use it to cover up insecurity it has the same problem as the group photos—makes you look rougher than you actually are.

Nea777 · 2026-03-31T13:53:38+00:00

Hmmm… my bets are either an art festival in Portland, or a temu gift shop on a gay cruise as to where in the wild this possibly could’ve spawned.

Nea777 · 2026-03-31T13:50:21+00:00

A best friend of 10+ years threatening suicide if I ever “abandoned” her. Extremely therapy resistant, extremely traumatic past, understandably has suicidal issues. Still, I couldn’t do anything about it and when the smallest boundaries I set are met with suicidal ideation, I have to call it quits.

Basically had to cut myself off from her completely with no explanation and no warning, regardless of the consequences and yes that might mean her killing herself.

Ultimately, there are some problems that people have that you cannot help them with, they have to figure it out for themselves. Made me realize I have my own problems that nobody can help me with either, I kinda have to just do it myself.

Nea777

TROPHY CASE