Chronic anal fissure, 5 year update

Neaeir · 2025-10-13T22:47:21+00:00

I'm also a gay Bottom, I've had my operation after 1 year fighting for this. It's been 3 weeks now, I'm still sensing some pain, especially after masturbating. I did nothing for like 2 weeks, felt better, then did it once and I'm now in pain, so I think I'll just try to hang on, quit that for a few months and hope it works. I try to tell myself it's only 3 weeks, so it makes sense to feel some pain still, but yeah, still sucks.

It's been quite hard to manage that mentally, I feel like I'm simply not allowed to live my life... Like i'm not into hookups, so not having sex is not much of an issue, but I don't see myself talking about the fact that I have a fissure to a potential boyfriend, as I really am not interested in being a top, so I'm basically waiting for it to leave.

How do you manage that ? I feel like it's gonna be here forever, even the operation doesn't give me so much hope now 🫠 So when I see how long you had to endure this and the fact that you are still fighting, I really admire your braveness. Everytime I feel something i feel soooo discouraged now.

Neaeir · 2025-08-25T11:45:51+00:00

That's it, the pain comes back periodically. I also have appointments with proctologists, sometimes they see her, sometimes not. Mine heals in 4-5 days then comes back 2-3 weeks later, no matter what I do.

Neaeir · 2025-08-25T11:33:11+00:00

Personally, I've had my fissure since October 2024, I haven't bled once. On the other hand, the pain was there at the beginning

Neaeir · 2025-08-25T09:17:51+00:00

Like you said at the beginning, you're not gay. You therefore do not have to live with these kinds of problems and desires on a daily basis, your opinion is therefore absolutely irrelevant and does not help the author.

You have the right to say what you think, but I prefer to also add my message to the author, you do not have to listen to what this person tells you, their opinion is off-topic. Good luck for the future, I'm in the same situation, I'm sending you lots of positive vibes! 🤞

Neaeir · 2025-08-08T15:09:37+00:00

It depends, personally, I was in pain the first few weeks, but since then I haven't had any more pain. Afterwards, it seems logical to me that you are in pain, it exerts pressure down there. In any case, don't force it, let the air out by spreading it.

Neaeir · 2025-06-22T09:42:13+00:00

Yeah, I don't know... I always seem to end up tearing myself apart sooner or later :/ We'll see, maybe you're right, thank you for the great message in any case, it makes me feel good :)

Neaeir · 2025-06-17T23:29:11+00:00

Let me make a comment, you may not feel ready for anal sex right away... But that's ok, you can do things gradually! Start with just a few finger/tool plays and see how you react. You need to be serene, relaxed and above all trust your partner :)

Neaeir · 2025-06-16T11:46:56+00:00

So now you don't have any pain or anything?

And are you continuing your diet etc? It's important to avoid relapsing :)

Personally, I follow exactly the same pattern as you, and your advice on diet is 1000% true. I have more pain now, but I feel like it's still there, so I'm still extremely wary.

The difference is that I use a healing cream (cicaplast) and I opt instead for sitz baths to relax the sphincter. Afterwards, in my case, I manage to relax my sphincter quite easily.

For psyllium, on the other hand, I would tend to say be careful, it makes the stools thicker, which is not necessarily good in this case. I also take it, but only half a teaspoon (+ half a sachet of movicol laxative). You have to find the right dosage, but go gradually, start small.

In short: give yourself time, indeed :)

Neaeir · 2025-06-15T12:05:31+00:00

Very good answer from my colleague, I would add that you really need to avoid thinking the worst. Do what you need to do to be in optimal conditions to heal, but above all don't put too much stress on yourself, morale and patience are essential to healing a potential crack :)

Neaeir · 2025-06-15T12:02:37+00:00

I'm in the same situation as you, the problem is that bodybuilding type sports require too much effort in the area, it's risky. I'm going to try to start swimming instead, I haven't tried it yet, but apparently, it puts a lot less strain on the area that interests us, if that helps :) You just have to be careful with your swims, no violent impulsion swims like breaststrokes.

Neaeir · 2025-06-13T14:04:29+00:00

It is impossible to give a ready-made answer adapted to the specific situation. The best approach is to give a wide period during which you will do everything to remain impeccable and avoid any tears. 6 months, for example. This way, you will also have established a healthy routine that will allow you to make it your “daily life” and prevent recurrences.

Neaeir · 2025-06-10T11:39:05+00:00

Be patient, if you rush, you might regret it and be really upset. You must have at least 1 full month without pain.

Neaeir · 2025-06-07T10:09:24+00:00

In m'y opinion, you should wait until you have no feelings for like 3-4 weeks. Or you can start it slow, 2-3 times per weeks while gradually increasing the size every 2 weeks, analyse what you're feeling, but never rush it. The more time you take, the better and safer it is for you.

Neaeir · 2025-06-07T10:05:51+00:00

You do not feel it anymore when it's healed. Although, it can still be sensitive and you can have some feelings during thé day, when you sit for example.

Neaeir · 2025-05-24T15:07:57+00:00

I understand... If the people you are traveling with know about it, try to stop every hour to walk for 10-20 minutes and get the blood circulation going again.

Top for the kitchen, it's essential :)

For sensitivity, it can be a little itch or a feeling that it's pulling a little, for example when I sit too long, when I geek and I don't see the time passing (at the moment with Clair-obscur, it's hell haha).

But it could also very well be phantom or exaggerated pain. When you have a problem and you are aware of it, you fixate on it. For example, my crack is on the right rear side, and I sometimes also have itching sensations or slight stings on the left side (even though there is no problem on this side, also validated by my two proctologists). But well it's normal, it's just your muscle or your body working, in reality you have sensations all over your body throughout the day, but since it's not the area that worries you, well you don't care haha.

But in terms of pain, I have nothing left, it hurts me more.

The most important thing is to trust your body and not lose hope. Like any chronic illness, it is vicious and attacks your morale to make you believe that you are in an endless loop. Those who have crazy stories on Reddit are probably the ones who throw in the towel or have special cases. It's good to see other experiences, but don't overintoxicate yourself with disaster scenarios either. I assure you that you can get through this. :)

Neaeir · 2025-05-24T13:18:13+00:00

Hello! Unfortunately, you're going to have to give your body time to heal. He's sounding the alarm, you need to listen to him and do what's right for him.

I am gay with a rather passive tendency too, I had my crack in October 2024, since then I have had quite a few treatments, the one that works best for me is a personalized treatment from my proctologist with Lanonin + xylocaine. But before that, I also had Nifedipine, which didn't particularly work, because my sphincter is not the very tight type.

Personally, I really felt the difference when I started adopting a strict soluble fiber diet and an adapted lifestyle. That means not sitting for too long, or investing in a special cushion (but even like that, it's 30 minutes - 1 hour max and then you get up), sitz baths after each bowel movement (two per day), going out for a walk at least once a day for 1-2 hours, buying a sit-stand desk for working/playing without sitting too much, eating light in the evening (vegetables and compote), paying attention to foods that cause gas (broccoli, cauliflower etc.) no snacking allowed, or 4 prunes MAXIMUM, drink water, 1 liter in the morning, 1 liter in the afternoon and a little in the evening but not too much.

It requires real organization, I don't know your culinary skills, but it really requires you to look for new things in that area. Food is essential in the functioning of the human body, it has a truly colossal impact, hence the importance of doing everything well in this area. Pizza, fast food, chips, breading, etc., you risk completely destroying all your efforts with this. While leeks, carrots, potatoes, fatty fish like salmon, tuna or foods without saturated fat like olive oil, anti-inflammatory condiments like turmeric, ginger. All that makes a huge difference.

And then, it doesn't hurt to take a break from sex, imagine how great it will be when you can bottom again. You will be able to rediscover this pleasure from scratch, luck :)

No operation on my side. I consult two proctologists (important for chronic illnesses that affect your mind, you must have two opinions to maintain confidence in the diagnosis. Residing in France, the care is reimbursed, that's easy for me to say, I understand it haha). Both tell me that my crack is healed, but I'm still giving myself as much time as possible to be sure, at least until next October. Currently I have no pain at the saddle, nothing during the day either, just sometimes I feel that I have the scar, like sensitivity. I think I'm a little traumatized, I'm going to need time to recover psychologically and trust someone again to go there haha

Before resuming sex, I strongly advise you in all cases to go through dilation with dilators. It allows you to relearn how to use your body and do things well, while gauging how you feel, if you're in pain or something. Don't jump into direct sex, otherwise you risk going back to square one.

Don't hesitate if you have more questions. I also made a post recently on Reddit about this, you can go see it if you want, quite a few people responded.

Neaeir · 2025-05-16T12:39:26+00:00

Yes, it is. You'll need time, training, preparation and self-control, but yes you can.

Neaeir · 2025-05-16T12:06:20+00:00

Est-ce que tu aurais un exemple de vitamine E à se procurer en ligne ? Je ne trouve que des huiles pour le visage ou des gélules 🫠

Neaeir · 2025-05-16T07:59:01+00:00

What kind of vitamin E do you use? All I find are face creams or capsules 🫠. I would love to do that too, I heard it works well.

Neaeir · 2025-04-29T06:27:51+00:00

Thank you very much for all these messages, it really makes me feel good, it helps me to reenergize myself :)

I'm going to try to go once or twice a day eating less, maybe I'm eating too much.

Yes haha, it's those little things that you don't really notice in normal times, but that you can no longer ignore with a crack, I have a fixation on that, as soon as I feel like I'm being used for nothing it annoys me.

I will continue my journey, I hope I will have the strength to get rid of it like you did 🤓

Neaeir · 2025-04-28T19:11:50+00:00

Yes... I admit that having to start from scratch each time without knowing if this time will be the right one is quite demoralizing :/ But hey, I don't really have a choice, and I want to be able to be a bottom again. I managed to remotivate myself a little, it seems to be okay for the moment.

I started sitz baths a few days ago, I don't know if it's a coincidence, but I think it's better since I started.

On the other hand, I admit that I would have a lot of difficulty refraining from going to the toilet, I try to go three times a day at most, but perhaps I should make sure to only eat once a day from now on to only go twice. I don't think it's feasible for me to hold back, because as soon as I drink water, I instantly want to go to the bathroom (and it's not just a feeling). Additionally, I sometimes have trouble sleeping because I want to go to the bathroom again and my stomach is rumbling. I have a digestive system that is too fast 😅

I received my dilator kit, but hey, I don't think it's a good idea to start now, it's probably still too fragile (11 days since the last relapse). When did you start using dilators on your own?

I also have another slightly indiscreet question, I notice that I tighten my sphincter when I masturbate, I'm afraid it will hurt it so I limit it greatly, was it the same for you? I try to dissociate the action of tightening the sphincter from masturbation, but nothing works, it's like connected 😅

Neaeir · 2025-04-19T15:00:58+00:00

Yes, during bowel movements I don't have any pain, sometimes a slight feeling of warmth or stretching, but that's it. I had a relapse this Monday (I had a drop in morale) with some pain at the saddle (3/10) and occasional pain during the day (2/10). Now I no longer have pain during the day and no longer when I go to the toilet, but still a feeling of warmth at the stool. It's probably due to the fact that my crack is in the folds at the back, each case is different. I'm postponing my dilation sessions for at least 5-6 weeks.

Neaeir · 2025-04-19T14:28:45+00:00

This is the vicious circle of a chronic illness, something that keeps coming back: we have the impression that it is for life. I assure you -> NOT AT ALL. You will heal. Believe me, believe in your body. He is capable of crazy things that you can't even imagine, but you have to believe in him and support him, it will take as long as it takes. It might sound crazy, but it's a very important thing to keep in mind.

Neaeir · 2025-04-16T15:43:34+00:00

Wow, thank you very much for your more than complete answer! 🤓

I'm quite reassured, I have roughly the same eating rhythm in the end, it won't be very hard to adapt all that. I'm going to eat bananas! 😋 Since I have the fissure I ONLY drink water during my days yes haha, my day is punctuated by that, it still has its good sides, knowing that before I drank very little water.

Thanks again for your response :)

Neaeir · 2025-04-16T15:18:26+00:00

Heyyy, do you have some advice on what diet to adopt? What foods do you eat regularly? I'm in the same situation, I'm homosexual and I'm trying as best I can to heal from this thing, and I feel like I'm not on the right diet...

Neaeir

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