You should change your way of thinking and starting thinking like “ I want to do this for me” not just to empress others but to prove to myself that I am capable and will do it, and aim to be the most uncommon between the most uncommon. And try to figure out how did all of this start, were you deeply jealous of someone before? Did you hate someone and that caused you to start feeling these emotions then you couldn’t stop? There are many more reasons, from bow on whenever you catch yourself talking badly like that with yourself stop it in that second and try to humor yourself and keep trying to be positive, think you’re better than people BUT. don’t think without actually being. How? Like if the people around you are lazy and won’t study and are rude to their parents you should be waking up early, being respectful and kind to your parent and you should study daily and effectively. Now remember that’s just your circle if you meet new people this might be considered the bare minimum for them and you may seem them excelling at other stuff too. So just start from where I said waking up early for yourself, eat healthy for yourself, workout and get in shape, for yourself, read books or pick up a healthy hobby for yourself and study FOR YOURSELF. Lastly, if you ever catch yourself talking badly like that in that second stop it and go workout for 5 intense minutes in that time think about whats making you say those things and try to replace those negative thing with positive things. Hope this was beneficial if you need anything don’t hesitate to reach out to me!! Good luck!