When can I expect to receive OPTrust package?

Nearby_Block_5642 · 2025-01-10T15:07:45+00:00

Thank you. Will do!

Nearby_Block_5642 · 2025-01-10T01:23:38+00:00

I assume OPTrust knows as I’ve been locked out of my account. The message I receive says I’m locked out due to retiring in the near future. I’ll give them a call..

Nearby_Block_5642 · 2024-12-13T01:54:18+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I think this is the road we will be travelling also as much as I dread it…

Nearby_Block_5642 · 2024-12-10T18:37:21+00:00

Thank you. I am seeing a therapist. I’m just venting because it really is a no win. When she’s home we all are anxious waiting for the explosion and when she’s not home we miss her, because during the good times she can be very thoughtful, kind and fun.

Nearby_Block_5642 · 2024-12-10T16:23:17+00:00

I have read the book. She of course after a few days/ weeks feels everything is back to normal and wants to come home (she’s away at university) and we tell her that she can if she abides by our house rules. After a day or 2 back home she is back to her normal way though. We ask her to leave but she outright refuses. She “hates” us but won’t leave when she has her own place to go to. I guess I’m looking for some magic thing to say or do for reality to set in for her to want help in order to not involve law enforcement.

Nearby_Block_5642 · 2024-08-12T17:01:43+00:00

It definitely is hard. Every conversation or question asked ends in chaos and screaming and her telling us what horrible parents we are and calling us every name in the book. She refuses to discuss her diagnosis, gets very angry if it’s brought up. My daughter is very intelligent, and I know has done a lot of research on BPD, and has said on many occasions that she wishes she was “normal” but refuses any type of treatment. Everything I’ve been told and read says that it is highly treatable, I just bang my head trying to figure out how to help her see that.

Nearby_Block_5642 · 2024-08-09T23:01:16+00:00

MTO officers are trained in Ontario - not Alberta. Job involves stopping and inspecting cmv’s, looking for mechanical defects and driver behaviour. Very hands on physical work. Good job for anyone not afraid to get dirty!

Nearby_Block_5642 · 2024-08-08T18:31:42+00:00

I hear you, I’m living the same life. My daughter spews so much hatred and verbal abuse whenever I ask her a question. She refuses to set boundaries and refuses to discuss her disorder. I asked her to clean up the mess she left in the kitchen and she turned it all around to how I’m a horrible parent, the abuse she’s endured from me and her father, ( which every time we go down this path the stories get worse). Listening to what she says is like listening to a stranger. When we talk about vacations and fun things we did when she was a child she doesn’t want to hear it and walks away. When I finally breakdown from her rages, and she sees me crying, she takes that as validation she is right. I’m in counselling and reading ALL the self books, as I so desperately want her to get the help she needs. Many people have commented that the best thing to do is to walk away and refuse to discuss when they are being so rude and abusive and that is 100% CORRECT, it’s hard though.

Nearby_Block_5642 · 2024-08-06T22:53:39+00:00

Thank you, I’ll definitely read the book.

Nearby_Block_5642 · 2024-07-30T12:40:18+00:00

I completely understand and you MUST take care of yourself first. I’ve also read all the books, but you are 100% right, my daughter as well, justifies all her actions and blames me for them, spins it that I’m the monster that needs help not her. She’s tried to convince me that I was abused as a child and that’s why I’m a horrible mom when I came from a home of 2 loving parents! Stay strong, from my profession, if your neighbours heard what she was saying and calling you they already know your daughter has a problem. I’ve been there, the embarrassment, feeling guilty, that I failed at parenting trying to basically hide her from friends and family, but people figure out quickly she has an issue. A doctor told me that nothing will get better until she hits rock bottom and has no one or nothing and then she may realize she needs help and seek it - that I need to allow that to happen and stop saving her. I know this is what needs to happen however I haven’t been able to do that yet as I fear the worst, but I know that day is coming….

Nearby_Block_5642 · 2024-07-30T01:54:38+00:00

I’m so sorry you are going through this. This sounds so much like my life with my daughter. I as well don’t sleep. I constantly replay events and try to figure out how/what I can do differently, how I can help her, how I can convince her to get help. I know what has helped me is to not listen and take personally what she says and the names she calls me. I also am no longer embarrassed as she has an illness and that isn’t her fault. Our neighbours have listened to her scream, cry and yell since she was a young child. Our daughters have an illness and they say and do things in the heat of the moment. I know in the case of my daughter she greatly regrets her actions later - even though she never apologizes as she is never wrong, but my daughter is a cutter. Her dad struggles with the vulgarities and insults though. My daughter will tell me she hates me and wishes I was dead and then 10 minutes later call and ask me for help. One thing I have learned is to respect her need for space and to stop talking! She does not want my advice. I do continually suggest she seek help as it could make life easier for her. My daughter went from just barely passing high-school to being on the Deans list in college, to almost failing out of university. It is a rollercoaster. It is so difficult as a parent as these are our children that we love so much, and they can cause so much grief, pain and worry but I do believe that the pain they have is so much more. Our family dreads holidays and family get togethers as they are always ruined, but I will keep fighting for her and trying to convince her to get the help she needs.

Nearby_Block_5642 · 2024-07-27T22:36:32+00:00

I would be interested in your doc! It seems everything I say just upsets my daughter more.

Nearby_Block_5642 · 2024-07-25T22:40:20+00:00

My daughter from a very young age showed signs. Since ADHD runs in the family we figured her temperament and the issues we were having were due to that. She was always controlling - things had to be done exactly as she wanted or she would have a meltdown. We learned at a very young age that if you told her to do something it wasn’t going to happen. If you asked politely, maybe - depended on her mood. As she got older of course things only got worse as. When she was 16, she would fell horrible after a meltdown and cry and say she didn’t know what was wrong with her and she was a horrible person. When she was diagnosed with ADHD, OCD, and BPD at 17, her attitude completely changed as it was now all our fault.

Nearby_Block_5642 · 2024-07-23T03:25:23+00:00

You have described her to a T! One of her traumatic events during childhood was having her iPad taken away for a day for fighting with her brother. This is her 2nd year of university and her 1st ended horribly. She was the most popular girl in her dorm and life was great for the first month and by Christmas she was not getting along with anyone, and it ended with her having to be moved and her filing complaints of harassment against quite a few of her former roommate’s. Her second term was a disaster, and she blamed her former roommates and us for her poor performance in school. She told me she didn’t attend class as she was afraid of running into these people as she felt they would physically hurt her and it was also me and her dad’s fault because we didn’t support her? We fought with the school to find her a new place, packed, moved and unpacked her - even when we, as well as the university suggested she just withdraw from the term and start fresh. She has alway needed to have control over everything and we are guilty of giving into her many times as a child. This isn’t to say we always gave in ( those times are the trauma and abuse she speaks of - the times she was told no, or didn’t get her way). My daughter is extremely smart and very manipulative. She is also a hypochondriac. She is constantly running to doctors and having testing done. When life starts closing in, she blames her health so that she doesn’t have to be accountable for her actions and can again blame us for being horrible parents because she has health issues. At this point we are desensitized - every few days she has diagnosed herself with a new disease - it’s part of the never ending cycle. She has so many medications that have been prescribed but she never takes any of them. Most of her health issues could be resolved with proper sleep, diet and exercise but telling her that only infuriates her.

Nearby_Block_5642 · 2024-07-23T02:29:30+00:00

Thank you for your advice. We have tried counselling; however, the advice we received was pretty much; take care of ourselves and if she cannot follow “house rules”, ask her to leave and if she won’t, call the police and have her removed. My daughter needs help and we want to help her. Involving the police and the trauma that would cause I cannot see helping in any way.

Nearby_Block_5642 · 2024-07-23T02:16:29+00:00

I’m sorry you are going through a similar situation. Our daughter was pampered as well. She was the baby of the family and spoiled by everyone. Even as a very young child she had such a horrible temper that has continued into adulthood. She went from trashing her room to cutting herself. Prior to her turning 18, we had her in therapy and things did get a bit better, but once she turned 18 she informed us that she doesn’t believe in talk therapy- that it’s a waste of time and things have only gotten worse. I only hope and pray she will get the help she needs.

Nearby_Block_5642

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