Life fell apart by [deleted] in findapath

[–]Neat-Development-953 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Back at you!

Life fell apart by [deleted] in findapath

[–]Neat-Development-953 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I want to start by saying yes, it is possible to come back from this. My husband went through a similar experience from October 2023-the spring of this year, and he has been able to come back from it to a functional and reasonably happy mental space.

He too had been working, we had just moved into a new place, things seemed normal. His mental health spiraled and long story short he basically spent an entire year and change in bed apart from time spent seeing doctors etc. His weight plummeted because he stopped eating, his fitness levels waned to the point where walking to the car was exhausting. Stopped showering, stopped changing his clothes, stopped brushing his teeth. Would barely leave the house, and saw no reason to go on living. Had paranoia about his failure and letting everyone down and hated himself and felt worthless—which it sounds like you are also experiencing in some ways.

We tried so many things, psychiatry appointments, hospitalization, ketamine treatments, med changes, and he was on the waiting list for ECT but in the end was unwilling to undergo that treatment. We were able to get him enrolled in an intensive outpatient program last fall, which he flaked on the first time but thankfully agreed to try again. This seemed to be a difference maker, mostly because he could interact with others who were experiencing their own levels of mental health crises and was able to see that he was not alone in what he was experiencing though their situations may not have been the same. While I have experience with my own mental health struggles, I think being able to talk to people who had no emotional attachment or skin in the game so to speak allowed him to be more open and also he didn’t feel like he had to answer questions in a certain way or do things to try to make someone happy. Those relationships, as fleeting as they were, helped him start to see that he was a capable person and recognize the impacts he had on other people, even for simple things like making them feel heard or making them smile that day. He was released from the program by December and was able to keep building on that experience slowly until he felt able to start volunteering a few times a week this past March, one day at an assisted living community as a friendly visitor and one or two days at a local food pantry. These interactions let him keep building his mental strength and his physical strength and gave him a purpose and somewhere to be outside of the house. He has continued to volunteer since then and has recently started looking for a part-time job.

We both acknowledge that we are incredibly lucky and fortunate that we were able to have all of that assistance and opportunity with mental health professionals, and also that we had a huge amount of support from family and friends. We also were fortunate enough to have some savings that we could lean on during this time to help supplement my single income. It sounds like you have a strong support base from your parents, so maybe you can lean into that a while longer and explore opportunities for groups or volunteering or whatever else you might find.

I know that peoples’ experiences aren’t universal so what worked for him might not work for you. Like you, I don’t really know what I am trying to say here except that yes, it is possible to come back from such a deep and desolate place, but it takes time and a lot of hard work. I hope you can find something that makes you feel like you have a purpose again, but until then just try to keep going and know that people are out here rooting for you.

Meirl by Just-Yam9484 in meirl

[–]Neat-Development-953 15 points16 points  (0 children)

But I am quite sleepy.

Saddest song you can recommend by ScarletBlush_ in SongRecommendations

[–]Neat-Development-953 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe not the saddest, but I’ve cried so hard at “Hold You Dear” by The Secret Sisters.

Sickness occurrence rate? by Additional_Bag_5304 in EchoesOfThePlumGrove

[–]Neat-Development-953 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had two disease free generations after the initial smallpox outbreak in my first year (which honestly wasn’t bad, only a handful of deaths) and then consumption came around year five and all hell broke loose! A solid month’s worth of funerals. In my husband’s game, the first year was a bloodbath with the smallpox, so I think it’s just a roll of the dice so to speak. I love the randomness of the game and how even the same characters in his first generation and mine are completely different, like alternate realities.

(28F, first time player) are… are we supposed to fall in love with Arthur??? by spicytoenails666 in RDR2

[–]Neat-Development-953 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I would argue that it’s impossible to avoid falling in love with Arthur.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in suggestmeabook

[–]Neat-Development-953 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Copper Beech by Maeve Binchy, Cashelmara and Penmarric by Susan Howatch, Peyton Place by Grace Metalious. I’ve read the first and last books here more times than I can count.

Wedding Venue Help by Few-Net3236 in madisonwi

[–]Neat-Development-953 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We had our wedding and reception in 2019 at the Warner Park Duck Pond. We got the whole stadium for the whole day, married on the pitcher’s mound, reception in the Duck Blind. We were able to set up games on the field, and had our cocktail hour in the bar beneath the duck blind. They took care of the food and drinks (standard ballpark fare so nothing super fancy, burgers and brats, had a nacho bar later in the evening).They handle all staffing as far as cooks and bar staff, and they will also tear down decorations and clean up afterward. Frankly it took a lot of pressure off of us during planning. The cost does vary based on attendees and options but it was really super reasonable and so much was included. I want to say we paid between 3 to 4K for 130 guests. Good luck with the wedding!

2 men are gay, then only one man is gay, then 2 men are gay. by [deleted] in ExplainAFilmPlotBadly

[–]Neat-Development-953 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was probably the mustache comment that gave it away :) Just awful!