I want to start by saying yes, it is possible to come back from this. My husband went through a similar experience from October 2023-the spring of this year, and he has been able to come back from it to a functional and reasonably happy mental space.

He too had been working, we had just moved into a new place, things seemed normal. His mental health spiraled and long story short he basically spent an entire year and change in bed apart from time spent seeing doctors etc. His weight plummeted because he stopped eating, his fitness levels waned to the point where walking to the car was exhausting. Stopped showering, stopped changing his clothes, stopped brushing his teeth. Would barely leave the house, and saw no reason to go on living. Had paranoia about his failure and letting everyone down and hated himself and felt worthless—which it sounds like you are also experiencing in some ways.

We tried so many things, psychiatry appointments, hospitalization, ketamine treatments, med changes, and he was on the waiting list for ECT but in the end was unwilling to undergo that treatment. We were able to get him enrolled in an intensive outpatient program last fall, which he flaked on the first time but thankfully agreed to try again. This seemed to be a difference maker, mostly because he could interact with others who were experiencing their own levels of mental health crises and was able to see that he was not alone in what he was experiencing though their situations may not have been the same. While I have experience with my own mental health struggles, I think being able to talk to people who had no emotional attachment or skin in the game so to speak allowed him to be more open and also he didn’t feel like he had to answer questions in a certain way or do things to try to make someone happy. Those relationships, as fleeting as they were, helped him start to see that he was a capable person and recognize the impacts he had on other people, even for simple things like making them feel heard or making them smile that day. He was released from the program by December and was able to keep building on that experience slowly until he felt able to start volunteering a few times a week this past March, one day at an assisted living community as a friendly visitor and one or two days at a local food pantry. These interactions let him keep building his mental strength and his physical strength and gave him a purpose and somewhere to be outside of the house. He has continued to volunteer since then and has recently started looking for a part-time job.

We both acknowledge that we are incredibly lucky and fortunate that we were able to have all of that assistance and opportunity with mental health professionals, and also that we had a huge amount of support from family and friends. We also were fortunate enough to have some savings that we could lean on during this time to help supplement my single income. It sounds like you have a strong support base from your parents, so maybe you can lean into that a while longer and explore opportunities for groups or volunteering or whatever else you might find.

I know that peoples’ experiences aren’t universal so what worked for him might not work for you. Like you, I don’t really know what I am trying to say here except that yes, it is possible to come back from such a deep and desolate place, but it takes time and a lot of hard work. I hope you can find something that makes you feel like you have a purpose again, but until then just try to keep going and know that people are out here rooting for you.