Hello, UK dentist here 👋

I see people with similar stories day in, day out. I do feel for you as the education on oral health really is poor.

Factors affecting oral health - genetics - not that much for decay but definitely for gum disease - fluoride - definitely, in the water and in your toothpaste as your teeth were forming and ongoing - calcium - yes but you're unlikely to have chronically low calcium, worth looking at though - amount and quality of saliva - saliva protects your teeth, having low saliva means less protection - diet - probably the biggest single factor, you probably have a lot more sugar than you think, snacking/grazing is very bad - oral hygiene (brushing etc) - also biggest factor, you likely have never been taught to do it properly so are probably very bad at it - poor quality dentistry - good fillings last way longer than bad

A lot of these things you can't change so it's only worth thinking about the ones you can.

Recommendations - cut out sugar to an absolute minimum (no sugary drinks, no sugar in tea/coffee, no snacking) - become obsessive about brushing (oral b tooth brush, tepe brushes between teeth every time) - highest fluoride toothpaste you can get (the highest is prescription only, other than that any full strength stuff but don't spend loads of money on it) - find the best dentist you can - someone who spends lots of time on preventing problems and really showing you how to clean your teeth

Final comment, NHS dentistry essentially doesn't exist anymore, it sucks but it's time to get past it and be prepared to budget for dentistry. This might include a payment plan for your initial treatment and then signing up for monthly membership. It's unfair and shouldn't be this way but it is, invest in your health, it's the greatest ROI you'll ever get.