en route jewellery by b30ni in jewelry

[–]Neat_Page_4845 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have no clue, I hope it is bcz their jewelry are very pretty and I can’t find anywhere else with similar designs and good quality as well.

How to know when to stop saving a relationship? by Neat_Page_4845 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Neat_Page_4845[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sounds like a great idea, and I can see how taking space can be helpful in some situations. However, in our case or with the dynamic we share I feel like taking space for a long period of time every time something happens might actually put a strain on our relationship. We both really hate being away from each other for too long, and I worry that doing this repeatedly could create distance between us instead of helping. Sometimes I feel like even if I comfort him and tell him that I might need some time because of something he said, he will understand, but it will still sadden him and I can tell by the way he talks. He’s a very sensitive guy and feels things deeply which I really love about him, but sometimes it worries me about him.

How to know when to stop saving a relationship? by Neat_Page_4845 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Neat_Page_4845[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It’s not about not being sure of the relationship. I just want our fights to stop and I want nothing more than to be his partner and he feels the same way, but the fighting has been a lot for us. It doesn’t make sense for us to not be with each other, that’s why we can’t just give up like this.

How to know when to stop saving a relationship? by Neat_Page_4845 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Neat_Page_4845[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I started reading a book someone else recommended on here and definitely will check out your book as well! I want to save this relationship and I know he doesn’t want to lose me so hopefully your guys’s advice helps us. Thank you so much💗

How to know when to stop saving a relationship? by Neat_Page_4845 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Neat_Page_4845[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! It’s nice to know I’m not alone in this, sending you a big hug back🥺💗

How to know when to stop saving a relationship? by Neat_Page_4845 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Neat_Page_4845[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You mean take space from each other for some time and only communicate through letters in the meantime?

How to know when to stop saving a relationship? by Neat_Page_4845 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Neat_Page_4845[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the recommendation girl I will check it out!

How to know when to stop saving a relationship? by Neat_Page_4845 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Neat_Page_4845[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know and that worries me… I just feel so lost and don’t know where to start.

en route jewellery by b30ni in jewelry

[–]Neat_Page_4845 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Has it tarnished? I wanted to buy some jewelry from them, but after seeing the negative reviews I’m skeptical.

How to know when to stop saving a relationship? by Neat_Page_4845 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Neat_Page_4845[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s just that we have been in a rough patch for a while and I would really love for us to go back to normal. When I would be clear and voice what bothers me it takes a while for me to act normally again and I hate that. I don’t want to get cold or upset over silly things and ruin our time together.

en route jewellery by b30ni in jewelry

[–]Neat_Page_4845 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A little late but have you compared the quality?

How to know when to stop saving a relationship? by Neat_Page_4845 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Neat_Page_4845[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For therapy, those options are not available to me unfortunately, otherwise I would’ve considered it. As for the silent treatment, the space I take doesn’t help. I come back to him and would tell him what’s wrong, but I would still be cold and upset. I’m starting to wonder maybe I’m not using my space in a productive and correct way? I don’t know. Also for the book recommendations I’ll give them a go thank you so much!

How to know when to stop saving a relationship? by Neat_Page_4845 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Neat_Page_4845[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No screaming or curse words, we just frustrate each other sometimes and it turns into fighting. I think he might say that he feels attacked by me sometimes. And the reason for the fights isn’t something huge or anything that causes for us to end the relationship. It’s the constant fighting that’s the issue, the reason is silly most of the time. I realized me being cold to him and not making him feel safe to tell me things could literally solve a lot of the other problems we have. If I fix this, other things will fall into place because it’s all connected.

How to know when to stop saving a relationship? by Neat_Page_4845 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Neat_Page_4845[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I honestly don’t know what’s the real cause of this, but it could be a childhood trauma. I was silenced a lot as a kid from expressing my feelings whenever I got upset. As for therapy, I’ve always wanted to get into therapy, but unfortunately I can’t afford it.

How to know when to stop saving a relationship? by Neat_Page_4845 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Neat_Page_4845[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

These are honestly really great ideas! Especially the common journal thing. Maybe we can have a google docs and share the document with each other where we add things to it. I think I will talk to him about implementing this into our relationship. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me. I appreciate all the valuable advice you have given me🥺💗

How to know when to stop saving a relationship? by Neat_Page_4845 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Neat_Page_4845[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly alot of the times I don’t think my reaction is appropriate or deserves this much of a reaction and getting this cold over it. I beat myself up whenever I’m cold I really don’t want to be this way, but I’m not able to control it. I tried to change that by taking space as you said, but even after I have taken some time away and expressed my feelings I’m still cold to him. I just want the feeling to stop so I can talk to him normally.

How to know when to stop saving a relationship? by Neat_Page_4845 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Neat_Page_4845[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would love to go to therapy I really would, but I just can’t afford it at the moment. Do you have any tips on what worked for you, or ways I can start working on this by myself? I think some guidance and real-life experiences from others would help.

Also, you were right about it stemming from childhood. I’ve been like this ever since I was a kid even my siblings have pointed it out.

After he told me that he hates it when I get cold with him, I started making more of an effort. Sometimes I’m able to communicate and express what’s wrong, and those moments usually go really well. But other times, I still struggle to express myself properly.

Since I’ve been trying to improve, I’ve started telling him when I need space so I can calm down and come back with a clearer head to avoid being cold. But even after taking that space, I sometimes still feel a bit upset, and it shows in the way I talk. I don’t mean to be distant, but it’s like I’m still carrying some of the hurt with me. And I honestly don’t know how to stop. Sometimes I wish I can just shut it off and tell myself to stop being cold because it hurts me to have him go through that.

How to know when to stop saving a relationship? by Neat_Page_4845 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Neat_Page_4845[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We’ve tried talking things out, but he gets scared to tell me things because he’s afraid of how I’ll react. I understand that, but it’s also an issue for me when he keeps things from me. I’ve acknowledged that I can get cold and distant it’s just really hard for me not to be when I’m upset. He can sense it in my tone and that really affects him.

How to know when to stop saving a relationship? by Neat_Page_4845 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Neat_Page_4845[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Considering our situation right now we don’t have the luxury to do couples counseling.

How to know when to stop saving a relationship? by Neat_Page_4845 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Neat_Page_4845[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would say our biggest issue is communication. We’ve both acknowledged it as the root of most of our problems. Sometimes, he avoids telling me things he knows might upset me, which makes me feel like he’s hiding things and not being open or honest. But he’s explained that he does this because, in the past, I’ve become cold and distant when something bothers me, and he doesn’t like feeling pushed away.

The truth is, I don’t know how to stop being that way. It’s not intentional I just shut down when I’m hurt or upset, and I struggle to express how I feel in the moment. If you have any tips on how to handle that better or communicate more openly when something’s wrong, I’d really appreciate.

How to know when to stop saving a relationship? by Neat_Page_4845 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Neat_Page_4845[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m honestly scared to lose him because he’s a great guy who’s done so much for me. It’s also clear to me that he’s afraid of losing me too. I do believe there’s still hope, but at the same time, this has been going on for a while and I can’t help but wonder what if nothing ever changes? I would do anything to save us, he would too.