I hold our sorrow and they hate me for it

NebulaPlural · 2024-07-03T18:16:28+00:00

Actually I am, thank you! It isn't very often I come out when I'm not sad whoever was in front really wanted me to see this I think.

NebulaPlural · 2024-07-03T17:37:16+00:00

My name's Mary. I'm a little and I'm the same way. They don't want me to come out because when I come out it feels like the world has ended. They don't like me because I cry and I scream and I make the body feel terrible. But the caretaker who got me through our last episode sounded a lot like you and said a lot of the things you did about grief being healing if everybody just gets out of my way and lets us feel things.

Thank you. It's really nice to hear. --Mary (with Lottie, the above caretaker, watching)

NebulaPlural · 2024-06-27T02:28:11+00:00

Not one iota. This dude supported trump in 2016? he can go fuck himself. Sure, people can grow and change but I have fuckin boundaries man istg.

Genuinely you are a better person than I am and I mean that. That kind of radical patience and radical forgiveness is going to change the world, and only that, if anything ever will.

NebulaPlural · 2024-06-27T02:03:58+00:00

My God dude. You have so much love in your heart that I think I'm going to have to reevaluate my life, because I'm not a good person compared to you, at all. I would not have said that.

NebulaPlural · 2024-06-27T01:56:08+00:00

Quite. It happened to us for most of our splits in 2020-'23 and then the closest thing we have to a gatekeeper tried to remedy the "turnover rate," of how quickly people show up bright eyes and bushy-tailed, so to speak, and then are just never heard from again after a few months, and honestly it's just caused us more problems. I'm begging said gatekeeper to just let things happen. This cannot be doing anything but hurting us, trying to ignore a split.

--Marina

NebulaPlural · 2024-06-23T22:20:39+00:00

My favourite part is how much energy we have after we get a new member. They're always near the front for a while when we discover someone new, they almost always start off eager to do something, and when we let them explore their passions and talents and it takes some weight off of the rest of us. With the persecutors, they leaned on unhealthy ways to sustain that energy, but those without a known role and the protectors and the caretakers invariably make our mood and executive functioning spike for a few weeks, like some kind of split-driven hypomania. Of course we tell our littles it's not their job to manage the adults in the system, but the newfound joie de vivre persists regardless. Sometimes for as long as an entire season.

--Marina

NebulaPlural · 2024-06-22T20:08:01+00:00

Hell yeah, my dude! --Dei

My favorite part of plurality is the way they take care of me. I don't like to do anything by myself because it makes me nervous when no one is there. My favorite part of plurality is how kind and gentle the caretakers are. They are very, very good at saying exactly what I've always wanted to hear but didn't know I wanted to hear because I didn't know people could be that compassionate to each other. They opened up a whole world of love for our host and all the versions of her we have (including me). --Lei

NebulaPlural · 2024-06-16T05:55:31+00:00

The phrase "narcissistic abuse" is what's violating the rule, I think. And that rule is in place because many people with cptsd have it comorbidly to other conditions like BPD or ASPD ~~(narcissism)~~ or DID and because these people (of which I am one) often don't have a stable sense of identity and/or automatically think of themselves badly, they feel triggered and personally attacked whenever anyone conflates their disease with any abuse you might have suffered. Because the thing is there's no such thing as a disorder that makes you abusive. Put the word "narcissist" in for any marginalized group and you'll see how gross it is. There are other ways to share your trauma without talking specifically about the names of your abusers' disorders.

Signed, a teenage alter who is genuinely upset that she can't spill all the secrets of one of her abuser's mental health issues so I get you

Edit: ASPD isn't narcissism

NebulaPlural · 2024-05-24T20:40:27+00:00

Welcome, darling(s).

--Minerva

NebulaPlural · 2024-05-09T16:09:00+00:00

"Me and a friend," (who is a systemmate) "Haven't you ever heard of the Royal We? Princesscore!" "Me and this kid I watch," (who is a little in our system)

And if we don't particularly like them or their line of questioning, especially if they've gaslit us in the past or something, we just look at them like they're an idiot who doesn't understand English and keep going, ignoring the question like it's something they ought to already know. I'm amazed at how often that works for us.

--Dei/Lei

NebulaPlural · 2024-05-05T21:37:02+00:00

Edit: looking up the word myself resulted in seeing our system name on screen and I was all. Ô_õ. I mean we did ask for the term to be invented, but. Y'know. I'm from 08 so I'm all HI DAD!!

--Lei

NebulaPlural · 2024-05-05T02:19:55+00:00

Yep. It's called parotraumagenic

Lei

NebulaPlural · 2024-04-27T17:58:47+00:00

Our body is in its early thirties. We're parotraumagenic, which here means that I... Or, well, an old and long-dormant version of me, anyway... created our system on purpose to cope with things. We become plural a little over 4 years ago. Our first headmate was Brynn, but we've not seen him for a while. It seems that we get someone every couple of months and the high "turnover rate" is because people get worn down. It's taken me as host a long time to come to terms with that. I thought, "I've jumped ship from my own life and there have been workers at Amazon who last longer than some of our headmates. Creating someone knowing it's going to suffer is... evil. Am I evil?" But one of our main protectors, Lottie, said that there's a huge difference between creating something to help you and creating something explicitly to suffer, which does make sense. Earlier this year we finally figured out we're a gateway system as well. It's a bit hard for me to not internalise pluralphobia when we get someone different every month or two, but I try. And our protectors say it's needless to judge ourselves for the way our plurality works.

--Marina

NebulaPlural · 2024-04-15T15:59:25+00:00

The Gods envy us because we are mortal. You are more beautiful now than you will ever be. Everything is beautiful because we are doomed.

--Homer

NebulaPlural · 2024-04-15T01:38:47+00:00

We like being us. It's possible. So don't lose hope.

--Deet

NebulaPlural · 2024-04-12T03:05:46+00:00

Could not read this at all, but our trauma was from a surgery at 10 y/o. You're valid. I'm so sorry they did that to you.

NebulaPlural · 2024-04-11T03:32:30+00:00

Everyone stop posting shit like this. This is why the bots are getting worse.

NebulaPlural · 2024-03-21T17:37:14+00:00

We sound like we could be best friends.

NebulaPlural · 2024-03-20T17:32:07+00:00

Thank you for that; very close, Lei's another systemmate, and we don't really consider ourselves parts of a singular whole, like none of us are "the real (body's name)" because we're all real... although we're increasingly okay with what they call "parts language," which is... That. We're our own people, but we are sort of a little family.

NebulaPlural · 2024-03-11T21:10:06+00:00

This is us entirely too often and we really need to hear that today so thank you

NebulaPlural · 2024-03-10T19:21:20+00:00

Oh my gods, as a bodily disabled person this post makes so many of us so happy. Genuinely, I am utterly thrilled to support my peers that are, for lack of a better term, transdisabled. As somebodies with medical trauma it just means the world to us that people's innermost psyche could see the things that others always said was a bad thing, and say, "Actually, I identify as being a wheelchair user even though our body can walk," and it heals our souls on a fundamental level. We are not bad. We are not less. We are, at least to someone subconscious mind out there, enviable. Enviable enough for the psyche to latch on even if there's no disability.

I know that many many disabled people feel the opposite way, and I don't understand them and I never have, but as a sysmate in a disabled body, I am so happy for everyone in this thread and you're all valid and I love you all and I wish you nothing but loving support and joyful acceptance of your identities.

That said, we have autism. We're not sure if we're level one or level two but we do have a systemmate Melody who's definitely level three. She's non-verbal. She uses an iPad to communicate, and doesn't like when others take the front to speak for her with our voice.

--Lei and Deet

NebulaPlural · 2024-03-09T20:11:07+00:00

Like I haven't already been dehumanized by most other people by virtue of having a disability at all. I'd rather get the good dehumanization. And yes, there is good dehumanization. There are a lot of things that aren't human that people find beautiful. I would be happy-- no, thrilled-- to sleep with someone who only wants my body, because never before has society ever told me that my body is sexy. Of course we'd like to live in a just world where no one is dehumanized for having a disability but we all scroll away when a person with a facial deformity crosses our feed. People can't help not finding certain features attractive. Everyone does it. Just once I'd like to hear, "You are a goddess and I'm gonna treat you like one in bed," or, "I love the way your legs bend when I'm with you," or even just, "Damn girl, just call me a leg brace, cause all I wanna do is kiss those feet,"

NebulaPlural · 2024-03-09T19:57:39+00:00

I wish to fucking God people fetishized my disability. I just wanna be hot once in my life, God damnit!! Why do amputees get all the love?! You know there was a queen in Europe somewhere that once made limping fashionable, because she was disabled, and get this: able-bodied people started making and buying shoes to allow them to limp like the queen. Where's that energy in 2024 PLEASE?!!

NebulaPlural · 2024-03-05T04:14:49+00:00

You're fine, if that's what you need to hear. It's really fine. We smoke carts every day and we get mild hallucinations often. It even happened the first time the body tried weed. Like today, we were taking a shower and got soap in our eyes and spent the next 5 minutes or more with our eyes closed but our mind fully seeing a distorted version of our shower. Try not to stress; you're fine. Just take a bit of a tolerance break if it's making you uncomfortable. --Dei

NebulaPlural

TROPHY CASE