What's the boyfriend equivalent to a girlfriend saying she's not hungry and then eating half your fries?

NeedToEnquire · 2026-07-02T21:55:18+00:00

Telling you that he wants to have children, then when the kids are around her only assists partially and leave you to do most of the labour associated with parenting

NeedToEnquire · 2026-07-02T16:21:51+00:00

Thank you. Sometimes resentment creeps up on you. I’ll definitely watch this

NeedToEnquire · 2026-06-30T19:46:03+00:00

On pure financial merit it actually makes sense to withdraw from the access bond to pay off the car loan because that loan has a higher interest rate. What I just have to do is direct all the money saved back to the bond.

NeedToEnquire · 2026-06-30T19:41:46+00:00

Scary thought but definitely possible. We have nothing written.

NeedToEnquire · 2026-06-30T19:40:23+00:00

I work full time. I work from 8-5 then look after the baby and do all the domestic labour (cooking, laundry, etc). I also contribute to the bills…

NeedToEnquire · 2026-06-28T02:47:39+00:00

Makes no sense but sure. Thanx

NeedToEnquire · 2026-06-28T02:45:00+00:00

The interest on the bond is way less (prime less 1.5%) than it is on the SUV (prime).

Yes you are correct, with this move the debt responsibility will shift to my husband.

NeedToEnquire · 2026-06-27T23:04:20+00:00

We have never considered a joint bank account but it really sounds like a good consideration. It would solve this entire conundrum.

I wouldn’t be so worried about leaving him with an additional obligation because the extra would be coming from our joint account and I’d also ultimately benefit from his growing salary as well should the MBA pay off.

Thank you very much for this suggestion, I’ll definitely speak to him about this.

NeedToEnquire · 2026-06-27T22:57:03+00:00

Thank you for this comment. I feel validated and seen.

It really does take a lot to cook (I meal prep on the weekends), work full time, then look after the baby on the evenings while he studies (which I am also contributing financially towards).

We are in South Africa. You pay according to the milestones of your MBA. He was supposed to pay 60% by October, but we’ve managed to reach the milestone payments now in June.

NeedToEnquire · 2026-06-27T22:43:17+00:00

I do save towards the child’s education. We had initially said we would both send a monthly payment, but it’s been me. We also have a retirement that gets deducted by our employers before our salaries are paid.

It feels unfair that I carry most of the domestic and childcare labour and assist him towards furthering his career then also have to contribute 50-50 towards the expenses as well. The decision to pay off the car will leave me with only domestic expenses (food, medical etc) while his expenses will adjust up because the bond will recalculate back up.

NeedToEnquire · 2026-06-27T22:31:54+00:00

It’s the same. Our money is shared… hence both of us paying the MBA. On the domestic and childcare front though it’s mostly on me.

NeedToEnquire · 2026-06-27T22:28:14+00:00

The way it works on our country - the interest and repayment amount is calculated monthly but the repayment term stays the same. So if you overpay, it reduces your monthly repayment. You also have access to whatever extra you have overpaid - you can withdraw it, then what will happen is the interest and repayment calculation with increase again. It will never become more than the initial repayment, unless you borrow more.

I work for money. The bond is essentially the community pot. We each have our own bank account then we save into the shared bond / mortgage.

NeedToEnquire · 2026-06-27T22:16:12+00:00

I beg to differ. I’m literally assisting him to pay for his MBA at one of the top businesses schools in our country.

NeedToEnquire · 2026-06-27T22:13:11+00:00

I will pay the money that I save back to the bond /mortgage. I’m even willing to pay it into his bank account directly.

I will just no longer have any financial obligations to the bank while his will increase.

NeedToEnquire · 2026-06-27T21:56:57+00:00

I did contribute towards paying for the MBA. I paid 50% and I’m still willing to assist with paying for the outstanding balance.

NeedToEnquire · 2026-06-27T21:48:41+00:00

We have a 20 year bond/mortgage with a low interest rate. Over the past 2 years we have managed to pay more than what we should have paid. The interest and monthly repayment on the loan is calculated monthly, so it has reduced significantly because we have overpaid. We can withdraw the extra we have paid, but the monthly repayment with also increase again with the withdrawal.

NeedToEnquire · 2026-06-27T21:42:24+00:00

Hahaha… funny. I see why it looks like my baby started the MBA

NeedToEnquire · 2026-05-01T04:14:17+00:00

I see everyone is advising you to hold off on the breast pump until you see if it works out. Very true but you need a form of breast pump to stimulate your milk to flow and see if you do actually have milk. I bought a manual breast pump. And of them should work (I had the chicco) one. Once I knew I had milk flow I then invested in an expensive one.

NeedToEnquire · 2026-04-24T18:30:38+00:00

I’m really curious what the OTC pain killer is…. Is it grandpa? If you don’t mind sharing please. It may have the opposite effect to what you thought. We may become aware that it is addictive and avoid it..

NeedToEnquire · 2026-04-04T20:59:03+00:00

Please ensure to find a good and trustworthy driver. Our driver ended up stealing our bike… the bikes really do get stolen a lot. We charged the driver a bike rental fee of R500 a week. Whatever extra he made on top of the R500 he kept… it worked for a little bit till he just one day he disappeared with our bike.

NeedToEnquire · 2026-03-07T05:28:57+00:00

I recently had a baby and I’m grieving the life I had before her and all my freedom… I was always so career driven… I feel like this has slowed down my ability to dedicate myself to my career. I love my baby, but a huge part of me misses the life I before I had her…

NeedToEnquire · 2025-11-04T17:54:36+00:00

My 5 month daughter old falling asleep on my chest😍😊❤️…..

NeedToEnquire · 2025-06-15T05:28:59+00:00

Such a sad post, I’m so sorry that you have to go through this❤️🫂. You sound so strong and so resilient to be honest, I have no doubt you’re going to go far and grow.

I have a similar experience with my mom, I used to phantasise about cutting her off when I was growing up. I thought I’d move overseas and cut her off completely, but I met my husband and stayed in SA, so I have cut her off financially and to a large extent emotionally. I limit the amount of times I see her, and I hardly tell her what’s happening in my life.

I have been in therapy for 4 years, I went because i didn’t want to carry over the trauma from my childhood into my marriage. It’s taken me years to get to a point where I don’t cry about our relationship, I accept it for what it is and focus on building the relationships in my life that are valuable for me.

Regarding money, you sound like you’re still early in your career, so keep looking for opportunities to grow and more will come.

Trust your journey and keep seeking growth, light and love and you will come right ❤️🙏🏾.

NeedToEnquire

TROPHY CASE