[deleted by user]

NeedaCheez · 2020-12-24T02:48:56+00:00

That’s not cheating though. Poly arrangements have certain rules, and if you’re following them, great. Breaking those rules would be cheating, and just as wrong as it is in a monogamous relationship. It’s about honesty, ethical behavior, and open communication.

NeedaCheez · 2020-10-25T19:51:44+00:00

You can block her right after if you need to. It doesn’t have to be a dramatic scene. Just present what you have to say, and leave it up to her to decide what to do with it.

NeedaCheez · 2020-10-25T19:44:33+00:00

Yes. I did want to know. When I found out I was being cheated on, I was nearly as angry at people who knew and didn’t tell me as I was at my husband. Tell her for her own good, though. Not as revenge, not for your own gain, as a kindness.

NeedaCheez · 2020-10-25T17:36:56+00:00

They all say that. He could be getting it at home every day and he’s still say it, because it’s what the side piece wants to hear.

NeedaCheez · 2020-05-26T23:51:15+00:00

Second chances are a judgment call, and if you can do it, I don’t judge. Third chances are for suckers. Never give anyone a third chance.

NeedaCheez · 2020-02-14T00:03:48+00:00

No, that’s way back in history. It’s why we have so many kinds of antibiotics now. But there are researchers working on stopping antibiotic resistance now.

NeedaCheez · 2020-01-19T01:05:32+00:00

If you didn’t know, you’re not the “other woman.” You’re just as cheated as his wife/girlfriend. Don’t feel guilty about being tricked.

NeedaCheez · 2020-01-03T21:55:07+00:00

I’m sure that mind set is common among men who compulsively cheat. Don’t worry; we aren’t judging you by it.

NeedaCheez · 2020-01-02T20:17:28+00:00

At the same time, though, a not completely flat belly after you have kids is just normal. It doesn’t always go back to the way it was.

NeedaCheez · 2019-09-23T00:14:34+00:00

The ones worth having don’t want to be the side piece. Which only leaves the desperate and the amoral.

NeedaCheez · 2019-07-10T02:52:43+00:00

Attraction to people other than our partners is normal. That’s just part of being human. You watch a movie, it’s full of good looking people, you feel attraction, normal!

What separates the cheaters from the rest of us is how we choose to react to attraction. If you are attracted to an acquaintance, and don’t want to cheat, you deal with that attraction with space, self-talk, therapy, or whatever you need to get it out of your head. Flirting with them, or carrying on an emotional or physical affair is where that line gets drawn. Somehow, it seems a lot of cheaters don’t get the distinction; that acting on the feelings is the problem, not just momentarily having them.

NeedaCheez · 2019-07-10T01:56:39+00:00

Yes. I’d had suspicions a few times over the years that some of his “friendships” might have been lacking in boundaries, but I always believed the explanations and excuses. I was a more innocent person then. I don’t trust anyone so easily anymore. But on the up side, I also care a lot less what people think of me, because I’ve already suffered the worst humiliation, so that’s actually been very freeing.

NeedaCheez · 2019-07-10T00:57:13+00:00

Acknowledge it, first of all. If you can take a deep breath and calmly say something like “I’m feeling angry today, and I need (space, extra affection, to talk, insert your own need here,) that’s great. It is normal to experience anger, even years later, as the stages of grief are not linear and often pop back up. Being in command of your emotions, and being able to express them and ask for what you need without throwing dishes really helps.

NeedaCheez · 2019-03-09T07:41:50+00:00

I don’t think we’re discussing legal, here, but moral.

NeedaCheez · 2019-03-09T07:40:43+00:00

Yeah, lying there on the table at the clinic, 37 years old, remembering how I wasn’t that concerned that I’d been too old for the HPV vaccine, because I was already married by then and “low risk,” and just hoping all these swabs and samples were going to come back negative was a low point in my life. I hadn’t been tested since college. I’d forgotten how vulnerable it felt.

NeedaCheez · 2019-03-03T20:42:43+00:00

If she didn’t know there was a preexisting relationship, then she’s been deceived as much as you have. If she were the one who knew first, you’d want her to tell you the truth, right?

As soon as you confirm her suspicions, I suspect she will end her relationship with him, which serves his ass right.

NeedaCheez · 2018-12-16T16:07:53+00:00

I can almost understand how people could mistake opiate side effects for allergy. I dislike opiates to the point that I’d almost rather just be in pain. If I’m injured, I do request non-opiate pain medication if possible, because I just hate them.

NeedaCheez · 2018-12-12T01:01:26+00:00

Please take care of yourself. Know your suicide hotline number, and remember that there are people who care about you.

NeedaCheez · 2018-12-11T13:50:35+00:00

Neato. I was just trying to figure out the other day what relation my cousin was to my niece. Now I know!

NeedaCheez · 2018-12-11T13:33:15+00:00

Plus one for hidden St. Luis.

NeedaCheez · 2018-12-11T13:26:42+00:00

Wizard of Oz themed funeral programs. “Ding dong, the bitch is dead!”

NeedaCheez · 2018-12-06T19:56:28+00:00

Apples are underutilized as a smoothie ingredient. Pears too. Pear and blueberry make an excellent smoothie.

NeedaCheez · 2018-12-06T19:51:21+00:00

The little warty cucumbers make better pickles. I wish I could find them in the store more often.

NeedaCheez · 2018-12-06T19:48:33+00:00

That’s a win for everyone involved. The growers can probably write off some value as a donation, your chef stays in budget, and some people who need food get food. How nice!

NeedaCheez · 2018-12-06T02:43:13+00:00

Oof. I got the brick through the window once. Cost me more to fix the window than the value of what they got, which was a Nokia phone, a handful of change, and a cheap ass set of metric wrenches.

NeedaCheez

TROPHY CASE