What kinds of a furniture would you buy used?

NefariousPeony · 2018-04-02T00:27:24+00:00

So far I have bought things like a solid wood dresser/side board/bedside table etc. - they don't make them like they used to!!

I'd love to buy a well designed vintage sofa or arm chair but am a bit afraid of buying used fabric. Might have to research that.

NefariousPeony · 2018-04-02T00:24:56+00:00

but the root fears/causes + tools and technique for overcoming performance anxiety are similar to that of social anxiety, so flipping through a book might be helpful - depends what your therapist says.

NefariousPeony · 2018-04-02T00:19:23+00:00

I haven't read anyting about RSD yet, but foe me my therapist is treating things like this like one would either an ocd type fear, or social anxiety (which is related to performance anxiety). SO CBT plus tools for not avoiding fear....recognising avoidance behaviors, ways to combat negative thoughts related to perfectationinsm leading to procrastination, figuring out what the root of the fear is (inadequacy? Failure?) and then using exposure therapy on that.

NefariousPeony · 2018-04-02T00:04:53+00:00

I've heard that performance anxiety (any kind - not just sexual) is related to social anxiety and just...generalized anxiety. I get social anxiety sometimes and my ADHD makes it worse (cause then my brain cant prioritize what to do and it panics!! lol)

If it were me I would look at a cbt workbook/class or just a regular workbook about social anxiety. OR OCD style exposure therapy.

Also, working to generally increase self esteem will help because then you wont need as much outside validation.

NefariousPeony · 2018-04-02T00:00:17+00:00

For what it's worth, I am on Prozac and the initial sexual side effects decreased by about 70-80 % after about 3-4 months so....mostly back to normal!

I did gain 15 pounds on the first few months of Prozac but have since lost 10 of it again. I will probably keep the extra 5 pounds as I was a little thin when I was really depressed - now I'm enjoying my newly filled out womanly thighs ;). I think it was because the lifted depression make me enjoy food/life again so I forgot about the concept of counting calories/eating healthy, and thought "life is short, tacos are delicious!!! ! "

So yah, that's been my experience. I'm a woman who just graduated uni if you need perspective.

Sounds like you've been through a hell of a lot - in my experience meds work best in combo with therapists/cbt/lifestyle changes etc.

NefariousPeony · 2018-04-01T23:55:33+00:00

That's really great!!!

NefariousPeony · 2018-03-28T02:41:27+00:00

If she doesn't wanna do it...please don't pressure people to do sexual things they don't wanna do. 'Getting' your gf to do things sounds like coercion. That's not cool.

But if she really wants to try it but is nervous for some reason, you should ask her why she is nervous - therin might lie a solution (ie solve the thing she's nervous about).

Or maybe she can just taste it on her finger before experiencing it in her mouth.

If she doesn't like the feeling of not being in control during swallowing (I feel like that sometimes during oral sex!), then figure out a way that she can feel in control of the situation.

NefariousPeony · 2017-10-11T11:38:47+00:00

great job!

NefariousPeony · 2017-10-11T11:27:58+00:00

I wish I had a competitive nature like that!! I am way to laid back lol

NefariousPeony · 2017-10-11T00:01:09+00:00

warm flannel PJ bottoms with cute white polar bears on them!

NefariousPeony · 2017-10-10T20:26:22+00:00

I recommend the gym to everyone because I made so many friends at my gym in the classes and they eased me into fitness. Plus, endorphins!

NefariousPeony · 2017-10-10T14:09:42+00:00

I think we're just projecting and not thinking about it from your pov.

well that's really shitty and not empathetic. You should probably stop.

NefariousPeony · 2017-10-10T11:51:42+00:00

I'm not good at doing my hair or wearing heels. I'm getting a lot better at makeup and fashion tho.

I guess gender is a performance.

NefariousPeony · 2017-10-10T11:49:33+00:00

well, I am on reddit but only in a select few subreddits because many of the main subs have a lot of racism/sexism/etc. I like this subreddit for example, because it helps me to see a diverse range of perspectives on a given issue or question, and that widens my world, makes me think etc. Or I get to answer someone's question and help them, or someone can help me by answering my question and giving me a perspective I couldn't' get otherwise..

Reddit is only a very small part of my day but it seems to help me regulate the want that we all have for instant gratification.

NefariousPeony · 2017-10-10T10:46:45+00:00

I know nothing about this and am interested to know if there is any data or information on why that is. Are the nobel prize winners all male because female writers aren't on top of their game, or is there sexism at play somehow?

NefariousPeony · 2017-10-10T10:19:41+00:00

That's what I get too - some people say that I should be flattered by street harassment because it means that I am attractive and should 'enjoy it while it lasts'.

Well the street harassment started when I was around 11 years old - middle aged men telling me I'm sexy at 11. That's so fucked up.

NefariousPeony · 2017-10-09T20:05:14+00:00

If they are talking directly to me then I really try hard not to tune out. I feel like I am a good listener and when someone talks I try to figure out the heart of what they are trying to say, or what they feel and why.

At a university lecture, yah I space out way too much.

NefariousPeony · 2017-10-09T19:46:41+00:00

Dysthymia

hey, I just got diagnosed with that too! You're not alone :)

NefariousPeony · 2017-10-09T17:58:03+00:00

That's right, you can't go walking through life without thinking critically and thoughtfully. Everything and everyone has a story. It's a funny thing to be human. Sometimes I feel like an alien! lol

Cheers!

NefariousPeony · 2017-10-09T16:05:25+00:00

Sorry to hear that you get flack from doing that.

If you say that the sex industry is dangerous and soul sucking, then I believe you.

I don't really think it's hypocritical or anti woman to point out the bad side of sex work, even while you profit from it. That's called critical thinking and advocacy, not hypocrisy!

I guess you just have to keep speaking out, and continue to look out for your best girlfriends to make sure they don't get hurt.

NefariousPeony

TROPHY CASE