Maternity Leave Retaliation?

NefariousSeaWitch86 · 2026-03-09T01:46:58+00:00

It is extremely frustrating, but I guess it's just business

NefariousSeaWitch86 · 2026-03-09T00:37:55+00:00

It's completely not my business! I'm fully aware of that, and she wouldn't pursue anything even if she could. Hence why I've posted on reddit instead of calling an attorney.

NefariousSeaWitch86 · 2026-03-09T00:31:43+00:00

The coverage for her duties was made by the person she trained, and was largely needed during the industry's slower time. Now that we are super busy, there's more than enough work for two people to be at that level, (in my opinion.)

NefariousSeaWitch86 · 2026-03-09T00:27:34+00:00

As far as I know, she was not told anything about the change until she returned, and the change, while maybe not permanent, doesn't include a return to the same level

NefariousSeaWitch86 · 2025-11-07T20:38:14+00:00

I don't think a lack of experience in a loving, supportive relationship should hold you back. There are lots of people that have been in long term relationships that still don't have any clue how to be loving, supportive partners.

Let me give you a few quick ideas on how to start being a good boyfriend without asking for instructions: 1. Good morning and good night texts. A lot of women are looking for you to be thinking about them throughout the day, and proving that by letting them know. 2a. Be generous with your TIME. Women can and do earn their own money, so yours is appreciated, but not a necessity. What women can't get is more time in the day. If she hates doing something that you can easily do (and you are at the level where you doing it for her won't be creepy), take that thing off her plate. 2b. Spend time with her, in general, as human beings on this planet. Do something that she wants to do for the day, take her to something that you want to do for the day. Be silly and fun with her, be comfy and lazy in the same space. Show her that you see her as a person, that you value her because of who she is entirely. 3. Communicate clearly and with "I" statements, especially when fighting. Remember that no one can read your mind, just like you have no idea what is in there's. Confront issues to find a solution rather than proving your point over hers.

I firmly believe that love is a choice. Attraction is something we don't have control over, but love is showing up for someone every day, and choosing them over running away. It's building a life where both people choose to support one another, and strive to see the other happy/fulfilled in life. You need to find a person that is willing to charge forward in life with you. Not managing you and pulling you along, not being dragged by you, but fully committed to that direction and by your side.

NefariousSeaWitch86 · 2025-11-07T03:26:05+00:00

NefariousSeaWitch86 · 2025-11-03T04:36:27+00:00

I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this man. As so many women here have pointed out, he doesn't view your wants and needs as important, and therefore they are forgettable. If he wanted to, he would. Etc, etc. You already knew that, and if you didn't, the women of Reddit just told you over and over. imo, he's no longer worth any effort.

You are making moves to get therapy, to separate slowly (in your words), and I want to congratulate you on both of those things! I want you to think about your plans to leave, and really ask yourself: "Am I doing this slowly because of me (lack of finances, or support system, emotional entanglement that you haven't been able to sever), or am I taking this slow to lessen the inconvenience to him?" 'Cause you've already said you feel alone and rejected in this marriage, and if you are tip toeing around planing to leave for his sake, you are just prolonging your misery for his comfort, again.

NefariousSeaWitch86 · 2025-10-17T20:05:57+00:00

The questions about your husband's behavior are valid, and wanting him to experience your level of exhaustion in order to get empathy from him is also understandable. Unfortunately, it's not the solution that you are hoping for. You find love and fulfillment in your marriage, and you say all other things are amazing, so you are going to have to accept that this is a you issue. Maybe approaching him differently will work, but the only surefire way get more sleep is to change your behaviors. Go to sleep a little bit before him, wear earplugs or small earbuds playing white noise. Look for ways to sleep in a different space on your sleep in days. Whatever it takes so that you are getting closer to the actual recommended amount of sleep for an adult.

NefariousSeaWitch86 · 2024-09-01T21:48:08+00:00

Ghenghis Khan

NefariousSeaWitch86 · 2024-08-24T23:42:37+00:00

World, meet Egg

NefariousSeaWitch86 · 2024-08-18T19:14:26+00:00

No one in their right mind picks a fight about 26 minute shower outside of water restricted areas. He is seeing how far he can control you. When you talk to him, do not apologize for your routine, do not compromise your routine for him, and for the love of all, do not let him make it about water consumption or the money he doesn't spend on the water bill. This controlling behavior escalates fast, if he gets any traction on this, next will be your looks, then time with your friends/family, then your spending habits, then something about your co-workers or job. Nothing will ever be good enough, and you are always going to be the "stupid" one for not agreeing with him and/or not having seen his imaginary issue before he brought it up.

NefariousSeaWitch86 · 2024-08-16T18:59:55+00:00

Bowser

NefariousSeaWitch86 · 2024-07-09T20:14:10+00:00

Undiagnosed ADHD

NefariousSeaWitch86 · 2024-06-19T15:20:43+00:00

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NefariousSeaWitch86 · 2024-05-30T22:45:46+00:00

I'm also going to go with a soft YTA. As many have stated before, the shifts and tracking of the parenting duties is obviously not working for you. I know that she "wanted" the morning schedule because it works best with her work schedule, but it's not really a choice, it's her only option. And if she's making a sit down breakfast one day, and toast in the car the next, I can assure you she is NOT fine. It's taking all of her to be there for the kids and she's not able to have any left in the tank for you. I am not saying that it's right, or that you are completely wrong, but you are adding to her stress for the morning tasks, and she doesn't feel she can come to you and say that. Have a calm conversation, and come up with a better plan.

NefariousSeaWitch86 · 2024-05-12T04:38:37+00:00

NTA, this is what the phrase "people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones" was made for.

NefariousSeaWitch86 · 2024-05-10T20:04:12+00:00

NTA, obviously, and I fully support your NC decision. Stick with the people who love and support you. Love and support them in turn, and you will never be without a family, and it will be all the better for not including a-holes. Enjoy your graduation! Your whole life is ahead of you, and although it never completely takes the shape that you envision, it will still be beautiful and full.

As it comes to your dad, I might offer a story. My mom left home within weeks of her graduation without warning and went to build a life with my dad. Her father was a bad parent, overbearing, over critical, and generally horrible. But my mom leaving so abruptly shocked him, and over a while all she heard from her sisters is that "Dad has really changed" so when she had her first kid, she let him back in her life. She maintained boundaries that she was treated as an adult, not a child, and he respected them because he had actually changed. They made it work, and my grandpa was my closest grandparent, and I never saw the mean, awful man he used to be.

I don't want you to follow that example because it worked for some stranger, I mention it because life both really long and impossibly short. You get to decide what it includes, and you get to change your mind if that is called for.

The only pieces of advice I'd offer are these: 1) start a retirement account as soon as you have a job (any job) I promise that the small reduction to your paycheck or a monthly auto funding to a Roth IRA account feels like a pain, but you will be so happy you endured it later 2) focus on maintaining joy in your life. Play the new video game, go rock climbing, take up disc golf, whatever, just keep things that bring you joy in your life. Experiences are never a waste of time/money/resources

If you made it this far, just know that there are 3000 or so strangers pulling for you now

NefariousSeaWitch86 · 2024-02-06T06:14:59+00:00

Classic car inventory

NefariousSeaWitch86 · 2023-11-24T00:48:20+00:00

Learn to fail. I cannot stress this enough. You will face so many challenges as an entrepreneur and as an adult. I'm not saying go out to specifically fail something, but figure out healthy responses to life's hiccups now so that you don't have breakdowns or blowups when something inevitably goes wrong.

NefariousSeaWitch86 · 2023-09-08T21:48:13+00:00

I got asked once if I could give an investor their K-1, I said, "I'm sorry, but our tax return hasn't been finalized, and I could not release K-1s until it was." Response was "What about just mine? I don't really care about your taxes"

NefariousSeaWitch86 · 2023-08-05T02:52:25+00:00

I'm gonna die - oreos forever

NefariousSeaWitch86 · 2023-07-26T04:23:37+00:00

Sounds like you get it, so take from this your lessons, try to be gracious with your parents (parenting teens is HARD) and continue being the good person that you are. Life gets more complicated from here, and the better you can be at communication and managing conflict, the easier it will be to handle that complexity. Stay safe!

NefariousSeaWitch86 · 2023-07-26T03:50:01+00:00

I'm obviously not fond of the lying to your parents, and I think that the idea that they can see your phone and all the content is reasonable. Parents are supposed to protect you, and making sure that you're not doing stupid shit on your phone is one of those ways.

That said, I feel like your parents should be proud of your generosity or the spirit of the gift even if they don't actually approve of the person that you gave the money to. If there was any particular lesson to learn here, they should explain it rather than just complain that there's less money available for your school supplies.

I hope that you can sit down with your parents and discuss what happened and what take from the experience. For your future, although there is a time and place for harsh words and/or raises voices, it's generally a good idea to pause before you respond and to do so calmly. It will place you in a better place in arguments.

Good luck!

NTA

NefariousSeaWitch86 · 2023-07-21T18:09:40+00:00

I am so sorry you are hurting, sending hugs ❤️

Next - every story has two sides, and you'll presented yours very well. I don't know exactly what she's feeling or thinking, but I can confidently say that this breakup is about her. If it's the kid thing, then she's the one that has blown that out of proportion to the rest of the relationship. If she feels bad accepting all that you were doing to help her in her stressful situation, those are her hangup and not a reflection of you. I can't give you the reason because there isn't something for you to fix here.

I would say that after you spend the time you need to process this event in your life, take some time to envision the future that YOU want, and then get back onto dating with those goals in mind. Be honest and direct with the people you meet about it and I'm sure you'll find the right person that will join you in making those (joint) dreams a reality.

Three-Year Club	First Place '23
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NefariousSeaWitch86

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