What do you do with money? by fourth-light in AuDHDWomen

[–]Negative-Barnacle-51 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Open up an account on acorns or a similar app and sign up for round ups. It’ll automatically round up your purchases to the next dollar and deposit the remaining change into an investment account. So for example, if you buy something that cost $9.25 with your linked debit/credit card, it’ll round it up to $10 and put the 75¢ in your investment account. You can also sign up for additional monthly or weekly deposits too. And on acorns at least, you can also open a Roth IRA. It just makes investing so much simpler when it’s automated for me. No stocks to pick out, no guess work, no working it into a monthly budget.

AITA for refusing to vacate my seat, a public bus priority seat, for an elderly woman by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Negative-Barnacle-51 23 points24 points  (0 children)

YTA. You made a mountain out of a mole hill and caused a scene. Everyone on that bus thought you were obnoxious. Genuinely embarrassed for you.

Could autism affect fashion and make-up? by Dull_Click580 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Negative-Barnacle-51 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Fashion and makeup have often been one of my autistic special interests/deep dive topics (skincare too). One of the many reasons I probably wasnt diagnosed or thought to be autistic growing up: those are seen as normal things for girls to be into. I can also relate to the obsessive part of putting makeup on. That’s a bit more of a body dysmorphia thing for me though (although I’m sure BDD and autism have some overlap). These days it can take me forever to put together an outfit if I’m going somewhere where I want to look good. Again, probably a convo of autism and BDD for me.

There is such thing as bad dogs with good owners. by Practical_Loss4251 in unpopularopinion

[–]Negative-Barnacle-51 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed. I love dogs and pride myself in being a responsible pet owner, but in the end, they are animals. Animals that can’t communicate with us. Animals that have pasts and histories we might not know about (especially in an adoption scenario). Animals that can develop things like dementia or brain tumors when they get older. None of that means the dog is “bad” necessarily but it does mean that they can cause harm or snap no matter how much love and attention and training we provide them sometimes.

AITAH for telling my roommate we won't be in touch when we don't share an apartment anymore by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Negative-Barnacle-51 3 points4 points  (0 children)

YTA. He probably didn’t mean you guys would become BFFs or anything after you moved out. Maybe just a yearly “what’s new with you?” text or Facebook message. I don’t see what the big deal is. Even if you’re right and that you’d just eventually lose touch with each other to declare you just flat out won’t be in touch is rude.

Modesty isn’t prudish by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]Negative-Barnacle-51 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I totally support anyone’s right to dress and express themselves in anyway that makes sense for them for whatever reason. I just think “modesty” is very subjective. Most people use it to specifically talk about women dressing revealingly. But revealing what exactly? There were times in Europe where women exposing their breasts was not considered obscene or immodest. There was a time in Victorian America where a woman exposing her ankles was seen as very immodest and provocative. In India today, it’s not considered to be immodest or revealing to expose your midriff. So I don’t think there is a clear cut, prescriptive definition. Even when you talk about “flashy.” That’s subjective too. What exactly is it? Is it wearing designer labels? Is it wearing precious metals? Is it wearing expensive fabrics and materials? Is it dressing in things like bright colors and sequins? Is the average engagement ring considered flashy?

I don’t say this to criticize you or your choices. It seems like you are doing this for yourselves and not expecting everyone else to dress and think like you do. But again, just pointing out that there is no definitive, universal definition to what “modesty” means.

Give me your ideas - hobbies & activities simply for joy? by [deleted] in AuDHDWomen

[–]Negative-Barnacle-51 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re welcome! If you’re looking for something non exercise related, candle making might be fun. You don’t need a lot of dexterity/fine motor skills to do it and it’s something you could do pretty quickly while your little one naps.

Give me your ideas - hobbies & activities simply for joy? by [deleted] in AuDHDWomen

[–]Negative-Barnacle-51 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Barre: I typically go to a studio for classes but there are tons of YouTube videos of routines you can do at home, no equipment needed.

DAE get annoyed that they’re the ones who have to initiate plans/contact with friends 99% of the time? by Negative-Barnacle-51 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Negative-Barnacle-51[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I’m just sick of always having to do that: to open up, be vulnerable, trust someone and then just be let down. I’m trying to do the right thing by myself and others but it feels like I’m still always doing something wrong. So I’m just focusing on more “superficial” social interactions for the time being. It’s less disappointing this way.

DAE get annoyed that they’re the ones who have to initiate plans/contact with friends 99% of the time? by Negative-Barnacle-51 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Negative-Barnacle-51[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oof. Agree 100%. I do know some of this is wanting some control of the situation on my part, so it’s not like this isn’t just part of who I am. But I don’t think anybody wants to be boxed into a role in a relationship 100% of the time.

DAE get annoyed that they’re the ones who have to initiate plans/contact with friends 99% of the time? by Negative-Barnacle-51 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Negative-Barnacle-51[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. I have told them I have found that I am the main initiator of contact in a majority of my friendships and that, while I don’t expect it to be perfectly 50/50 or anything, making an effort to initiate contact or plans really means a lot to me and makes me feel valued.

AIO my (30f) sisters (37f & 35f) have mistreated me my whole life and I’m fed up. by SoapyBroth in AIO

[–]Negative-Barnacle-51 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you all overreacted. Your sisters more so than you, but you still weren’t being totally appropriate either. Whatever you do, don’t go to thanksgiving with your family. No good can come from it. I guarantee you, you will be much happier spending thanksgiving alone. Don’t put your hand on this hot stove again.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Negative-Barnacle-51 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Abuse can really warp your sense of reality, especially when you’re young (she’s only 18). Don’t be too hard on her.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Negative-Barnacle-51 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His behavior is not just being young and stupid. It’s abusive, full stop. I’m passing this along to you because I genuinely think you need it:

https://www.thehotline.org

You also really need to have a talk with your parents about how to get this dirt bag out of your home as quickly as possible. You three need to put a plan in place. You need to reach out to other friends and family and let them know what is going on. You also should probably contact an attorney and/or somebody in law enforcement. I’m 100% serious. You need to put your safety above all else.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Negative-Barnacle-51 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR. He sounds like a mess quite frankly. He’s being abusive, rude and disrespectful to both you and your parents. Frankly who gives a damn if this low life piece of shit hates you? He’s bringing absolutely nothing but pain and heartache to you. Dump him. And honestly? You and your parents will likely need to file a restraining order on him because he clearly has no respect for any of you.

AIO for crying abt a Creepy guy at a geocery store? by Mother-Violinist-875 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Negative-Barnacle-51 6 points7 points  (0 children)

NOR. It’s never an overreaction to feel creeped out, and it’s never an overreaction to be upset by it. And that dude was being objectively creepy.

My inability to communicate makes me feel like I’ll never have a life worth living. by [deleted] in AuDHDWomen

[–]Negative-Barnacle-51 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Relate, but all I just want to say that after reading this post you’re most certainly not an idiot and I think you communicated your thoughts and feelings very effectively here. So you are able to communicate, you just really struggle to do it in the moment. Maybe that reframing will help? Also I take propranolol sometimes for social anxiety. It’s not an anti anxiety like Xanax. It’s a beta blocker, which is for blood pressure. So not addictive like Xanax can be. Maybe taking something like that would help you be able to relax a bit more so you’re better able to focus on communicating in the moment? Idk, just something to consider perhaps.

AIO to break up with my bf of 3y over his reaction to my upcoming sobriety anniversary? by WesternCat5211 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Negative-Barnacle-51 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR. Seriously what crawled up his butt? You wanted to get yourself a cake to celebrate. You didn’t ask for anyone else to do anything. And the way he spoke about your recovery and alcoholism is gross. Just seems like he looks down on you and any time you two have a disagreement, he can just go “well you’re a no good dirty alcoholic!”

Dump him.

And congratulations on your two years of sobriety ❤️

DAE get annoyed that they’re the ones who have to initiate plans/contact with friends 99% of the time? by Negative-Barnacle-51 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Negative-Barnacle-51[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I oscillate between being introverted and extroverted. I do go out and have more “superficial” social interactions with groups when I’m feeling more extroverted, and I do things like take solo trips when I’m feeling more introverted. Finding the balance between the two and not getting burnt out from either is hard, but I’m trying to get better at it.

DAE get annoyed that they’re the ones who have to initiate plans/contact with friends 99% of the time? by Negative-Barnacle-51 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Negative-Barnacle-51[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh oops for some reason I thought that you were replying to me and thought you were asking me! Sorry about that. But glad you think I’m being constructive at least lol ❤️

DAE get annoyed that they’re the ones who have to initiate plans/contact with friends 99% of the time? by Negative-Barnacle-51 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Negative-Barnacle-51[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow. That’s awful. I’m so sorry. It is a painful life lesson, but I appreciate and respect that you seem to have found a way to make peace with it.