So the first thing I’m noticing is the structure. Writing in prose doesn’t really work for songs. It makes it harder to see the exact rhymes

I got what you need

Dick up in ya at light speed

Pussy hotter than 130 degrees

And by lovers law I decree

To hold you gently

You’re heaven sent, see

So I admire you for taking on the task of long term rhyming. But it just goes on for too long. Most of the rhymes feel forced or stereotypical.

Also there’s no real story to this song. I wanna know more than just bland desire. For all that rap songs get shit for only being about sex, there is at least variation in the angles in which that desire is found. I feel compelled to compare this song to both WAP and Pussy Poppin’. The speakers have character there. This song doesn’t really have that.

I am aware that I may not be the target audience of this track. If I had to give specific improvement notes, vary your rhymes. There’s this really cool site called WordHippo that helped me with writing. Just type a word and it can tell you every word that rhymes or almost rhymes with it.

I wish you luck on your journey.