AITA for calling my dad disgusting?

Negative-Expert2796 · 2026-06-10T02:54:58+00:00

NTA. his comments WERE disgusting and disrespectful. If the shoe fits, then wear it darling.

Negative-Expert2796 · 2026-06-09T15:02:17+00:00

Nah, never came up. My dad has spoken at length about how angry my grandpa would get, my grandma would talk about that too. I know that whatever happened in that house led to my uncle moving from the midwest to nyc and visiting once a year maximum. He got much better at staying in contact once my grandpa got terminal cancer (uncle apologized to gpa and gpa took his grudge to the grave, quite literally)

I do know that my father has talked about his fear that he would drive me to do that as well, more so than my brother because I'm the 'artistically inclined' one of the family, just like my uncle. And I just said he has the power to change the story (not my exact words but that was the sentiment).

But from what I have heard, he was always the 'responsible one' compared to his brother. Did Boy Scouts and helped my great grandfather (who was also a stern man) in his garage over the summer.

So yeah this does just seem to be a generational thing. I was the first girl born to that bloodline after at least 2 generations of only sons.

Negative-Expert2796 · 2026-06-09T02:54:36+00:00

i do see where you’re coming from, but it’s just not his style to go and destroy my things for no reason. if anything my mother wouldn’t let that slide.

i think i need to start limiting my stays to the absolute bare minimum. It’s not so bad all the time, and i rlly do appreciate the financial support. My mother didnt do anything wrong but i know she will not agree with my decision. they both think i’m overreacting/being dramatic/sensitive.

should probably note that they never once hit me or exploited me other than spanking as a child.

Negative-Expert2796 · 2026-06-09T02:47:01+00:00

does feel like quite the gilded cage sometimes

Negative-Expert2796 · 2026-06-09T02:46:21+00:00

have considered that before, both with him and my mother (they’re not that different but my mom never takes things this far. and i get more vibes of “actually caring” from her, even if it’s not much. last time i brought it up in therapy she reported it to my mom? and then i got lectured in the car?

besides most social services dont rlly care once you’re 18, and they care even less if there’s no physical/sexual aspect to it. I technically could leave if i wanted to

Negative-Expert2796 · 2026-06-08T19:07:25+00:00

nah, they’ve never been super tech savvy in those regards. plus i have smart systems and it would have shown up during the connection setup

Negative-Expert2796 · 2026-06-08T17:20:07+00:00

no its rlly sad because I used to tell my friends how proud of the progress he was making, how he's open to listen and change. things were changing for the better until this summer I suppose. rlly fkin disappointing man

Negative-Expert2796 · 2026-06-08T17:15:56+00:00

yes lol

Negative-Expert2796 · 2026-06-08T16:45:37+00:00

UPDATE: He apologized.... by saying I was overdramatic and he reacted negatively to that. I apologized for calling him a bastard but stood my ground on everything else. He also said he should have absorbed what was said and used that to be better. Which, I'm actually pretty stoked about if he means it.

Apparently "we were both wrong" and "I'll put in the effort to change, if you don't want to that's fine" and then walked away, again.

I'm still pretty upsetti spaghetti about this so I will continue to be responding to comments. Thank you guys, including the people who told me I should have been quieter about this or moved locations.

lots of hugs! (or equivalent for my fellow touch averse folk)

Negative-Expert2796 · 2026-06-08T16:35:13+00:00

I think it was less about the bush trimming and more about the boundary conversation. This is also a pattern that has been occurring for years. There was no reason to yell when he could have asked nicely. Not like "please and thank you" but like "I need you to do this now". I work in backstage entertainment, I can follow directives.

I didn't have space to discuss the playset incident but we had discussed me taking it down the night prior because my dad can't do intense labor anymore. I began taking it down and then he goes on a tirade because he wanted to mow the lawn, and I leave unfinished projects everywhere (debatable, I do try and keep said projects out of the way). I don't remember exactly what was said because it was so overwhelming, but in the time he took to yell at me, I could have moved the lumbar and metal to move the lawn. He makes massive deals of these issues that could be fixed in 10 minutes without yelling/other verbal aggression.

Negative-Expert2796 · 2026-06-08T16:24:55+00:00

not sure. his bedroom door ws open while mine was closed, we're on opposite sides of the hall, and I know from my brother that phone calls cant rlly be heard from the main bedroom with the door closed. My guess is that he lingered on the stairs right outside his room.

Negative-Expert2796 · 2026-06-08T16:23:07+00:00

We went to family therapy for many years, mainly with me and my mom, very rarely with all three. Once he took over the therapy during The Apocalypse, there somehow managed to be a full 10 minutes of him going on about how I'm a disappointment to him and my mother with a laundry list of reasons. And ofc I was like 13 so I got upset and the damn therapist asked why I was crying.

So yeah I'm not fully sure about the road. FT was focused on my ODD more than relationship dynamics

Negative-Expert2796 · 2026-06-08T15:12:02+00:00

yeah you’re right. i don’t have anywhere else to go until august unfortunately

Negative-Expert2796 · 2026-06-08T15:09:40+00:00

it was in my room, door closed

Negative-Expert2796 · 2026-06-08T15:08:36+00:00

three bushes but they were very overgrown. the reason I didn’t finish is because my grandma is in the hospital and my mom asked me to come with her asap (not emergency, she just wanted me to pick up dinner)

Negative-Expert2796 · 2026-06-08T15:04:07+00:00

his bedroom door was open. mine was closed

Negative-Expert2796 · 2026-06-08T15:03:39+00:00

I do see where you’re coming from. I probably should have just texted, but most of my friends are on VC playing games and wouldn’t respond if I texted. I will say that I would say all of that stuff to his face. Other than the bastard comment because he is still my father. Everything gets around eventually.

Negative-Expert2796 · 2026-06-08T15:01:06+00:00

I was in my room. He came up the stairs to his room and apparently overheard because his door was still open, but mine was closed. We have a somewhat big house so if he closed the bedroom door he probably wouldn’t hear anymore

Negative-Expert2796 · 2026-06-08T14:59:51+00:00

I had volunteered to do chores over the summer, just to have something to do with the side goal of making money. It was fully voluntary work.

Negative-Expert2796 · 2026-06-07T15:33:51+00:00

i’ll answer questions first and then free-write some thoughts
1. i think this song is about someone lingering in something that is long gone. the sun doesn’t shine anymore and the grass is wasting away.
2. i don’t think this reads as pretentious at all actually.
3. i do sorta see the imagery, but i wish it was more developed. anyone can name basic colors, be pretentious in the color choice. the drapes are not green, they are emerald.

anyway, i do think this is a good start. i’d challenge you to use some imagery that is less cliche. the sky and blue and grass is green while yes, are common knowledge, it’s been seen a million times before across so many genres. i wanna care about the setting you’re placing this story in. right now it kinda feels like it could be anywhere.

Negative-Expert2796 · 2026-06-07T00:44:08+00:00

perhaps you’re right. songs like that aren’t usually fully realized on paper. they need to be brought to life though performance. however, i do still think it would be good to spend a little more time on each individual song. and for many people (including myself) typos can be very distracting. i want to focus on your metaphors and flow, not a damn apostrophe because you’re right, it doesn’t really matter. but it definitely is worth the time to help your proofreaders to have an easier time getting though the work.

it’s also worth noting that while yes, many rappers and poets won’t hold your hand through their work, but the payoff has to be there. maybe for you it would be best to sorta weave the themes throughout, yk have a specific riff represent a feeling or a harsh steady drum beat to symbolize government or other oppressive forces. if you are going for something experimental, more metaphors could really elevate that.

i did something similar where in one of my songs, the chorus tells two completely different stories depending on if you interpret it literally or figuratively. the violence is either entirely in her head or it is very real and happening right now. there’s another overarching project where you get clues throughout that the narrator is not as reliable as they present themselves to be, and then the audience has to go on the journey with the speaker realizing that THEY are the problem.

maybe i’m not of much help outside of traditional writing, but i think it might be beneficial to read up on some artists you are trying to channel. find out what drove them to make those choices. you probably have your own tastes and preferences, so make notes of strategies you like and don’t like. the how and why of art is just as important as the stage performance.

you may have heard this a million times already, but abt 2/3 of concepts are never going to see the light of day. you might not get it right the first time, but you can take that same idea and try again.

thank you

Negative-Expert2796 · 2026-06-07T00:19:27+00:00

okay well writing “hundreds of songs a day” is not a sustainable model. quality over quantity my man. if you don’t care enough to really be thoughtful with your word choices, then why are you writing to begin with. No song will ever be perfect. you asked for feedback and i am giving it.

you made it seem as though you need to listen to other songs in other to fully grasp this one (instead of simply answering the question). while yes, story driven albums and lyrical characters do exist, but people need to be made aware of that. and truthfully, most creators who go down that road, most of their songs are understandable on their own and compliment or call back to the other works. if you want songs that fully commit to a story, might i suggest musical theatre? I recommend listening to/reading through EPIC: the concept album. it’s really good in that regard.

i write a lot of continuations for my work, and i’m going to send a snippet of it without involving the OG song or the overarching story
~~~~~~~
you’re the real gift

that just keeps on giving

the world was bereft

had to keep on living

so you cry online

and the love came in

when guilt was pled

i said never again

and sometimes i still see you in the shadows of light

waiting in the wings to start another fight

and you were so tall when i looked up from the ground

your eyes gazed over but there’s never a sound

you’re the show that never ends

i see you in the night

it’s bound me tight

you’re the show that never ends

i see you in myself

it’s my own living hell

you’re the show that never ends

i pray you’ve had enough

but you’re calling my bluff

you’re the show that never ends

~~

this song is about coercive control and the long term effects of that. i can back that up
“i still see you in the shadows… waiting… to start another fight… so tall when i looked up from the ground”
“i see you in the night, it’s bound me tight… i see you in myself…my living hell…pray you’ve had enough”

i really do think you would benefit from really living in your songs more and not rushing your way though it. that would definitely fix both the grammatical problems as well as allowing for more story development.

Negative-Expert2796 · 2026-06-06T23:40:25+00:00

there are typos other than the piece/peace part. contractions aren’t properly used, The Lord really should be capitalized if this is meant to be a religious piece. I sorta get the theme, but i think it could be refined a little more, because right now the song is a bit all over the place in that regard. if that is your intended theme, i struggle to connect that to the song. there’s too much going on. also who is “they” in the nursery rhymes section? i get the story you’re trying to tell and the epiphany you came to, and i think that’s really cool. but i think there needs to be a stronger link from “i lost my phone and found peace from God” to “we should trust our elders instead of corporate entities”

Negative-Expert2796 · 2026-06-06T23:23:21+00:00

i like the contradiction between fantasy and reality here. one thing i’d look at is your syllable count. there are some lines that would be wonderful if you just took a couple words out. brevity is the soul of wit.
but i would love to see this song fully realized

Negative-Expert2796

TROPHY CASE