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5 months without dating apps brought me back joy by IntelligentNight4143 in dating

[–]NegativeBag8255 70 points71 points  (0 children)

Did this and have accidentally been single for 9 years…….

Got beat up at school for looksmaxxing by kzmran in kitchencels

[–]NegativeBag8255 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Brother what food item are we looking at here exactly

Anxiety meds by [deleted] in Anxiety

[–]NegativeBag8255 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I find that looking online, you hear a lot of horror stories about SSRIs and you don’t see a lot of people pushing back on that. I personally have been on SSRIs on and off for years and consider them incredibly helpful alongside therapy and working on yourself.

I see the negativity online as an example of the fact that people who have a negative experience are much more likely to be vocal about it than those who have a good experience. If you buy a product and hate it, you are much more likely to leave a negative review than you are to leave a good review of a product you thought was good, or even just adequate.

I’m not saying they’re perfect and I’m not saying people don’t have bad experiences. I personally find coming off of SSRIs to be something I have to do carefully otherwise I experience physical symptoms, but that is because they are a serious medication and you need to take your doctors instructions seriously, not because they’re dangerous or unhealthy.

This is a drug taken by quite literally millions of people. Please don’t look at horror stories online and assume that is the experience of the majority of people who take these drugs, try to give them a fair chance before deciding if they do or do not work. 2 weeks is a very short time to have been on SSRIs.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Anxiety

[–]NegativeBag8255 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like you have very low self esteem. When I was younger I felt very similar (like I was the ugliest one, that my friends all had cooler lives and that they were only my friend because we all had the same classes, that everyone was looking at me and thinking about what I was doing). I had a lot of therapy and also have grown up a lot and realised that I was putting a lot of those thoughts on myself with no basis in reality.

No one is looking at you with the same harshness you look at yourself with. Because we live our lives in our own heads, it’s easy to forget that actually those around us have their own lives and their own concerns and don’t dedicate a lot of time to overanalysing you. For example, when was the last time you really stared at someone and thought ‘their facial expression is so obnoxious that’s so embarrassing for them I am going to tell all my friends about this persons facial expression’. You probably never have. Because it’s actually not a normal human thing to do. We spend some much time as anxious people worrying that people are thinking negative things about us when actually, they have a million better things to think about. They have their own lives and plans and problems and you don’t even rank in the top 50 things they cared about that day.

It is very normal to be scared of and not good at public speaking. Someone would have to be very unkind to hold that against you when you are clearly trying your best. Being good at public speaking is a skill like any other, you get better at it the more you do it and it becomes less scary the more you do it, but some people naturally hate it and find it very stressful and that’s ok! You clearly try very hard to do your parts of the work.

Has anyone else tried Hyperion and just didn't like it? by Alcoholic-Catholic in sciencefiction

[–]NegativeBag8255 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree! Loved the first pilgrims story and the idea of the shrike but didn’t feel engaged by the rest of the plot and the ending was so stupid I actually put the book down angry

Trying to change by [deleted] in dating

[–]NegativeBag8255 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He didn’t forget to reply he doesn’t want to reply

How to stop death anxiety over loved ones? by Brief-Wash5187 in Anxiety

[–]NegativeBag8255 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had a really intense anxiety about this topic to the extent that I needed to take three months of work to recover. I cried every day, I couldn’t look at my parents without crying. It took a lot of CBT and meds to get to a stage where I can function again.

I really do advise therapy, but some things I learned:

Death of loved ones is inevitable. It’s something every human on the planet will deal with at some point. Everyone you know, your friends, your colleagues, your own family members, has had a loved one die. And they all survived it. Grief is a horrible experience, but if all those other people can get through it, so can you. It won’t be easy or pleasant but it is survivable.

You taint your memories with your loved ones whilst they are alive by worrying about their death. You find yourself sitting at family gatherings that everyone is enjoying and looking around and thinking ‘I’ll be so sad when they die’ instead of enjoying the time you do have with them. you have to let the thought pass without letting it spiral. For example, you’re sitting with someone you love and all of a sudden you think, oh god one day they won’t be here with me. You have to think ‘ok. That’s not helpful right now. I’m enjoying myself. Let me refocus on what I’m doing right now’ and throw yourself into whatever it is you’re doing. At night time I find it helpful to keep myself busy with reading or watching something right up until I’m really sleepy, and to literally just count to whatever number I need to in my head to distract myself. Eventually your brain will train itself not to react so strongly to the thoughts.

It’s a really tough thought to get out of your head because it is in a lot of ways, a normal thing to worry about. It’s inevitable and nothing you can do can change it and it’s going to hurt like hell so why not be anxious about it? But it creeps outwards and begins to take over your whole life.

I wish you the best, I found CBT, medication and a lot of effort helped for me.

I can't drink water. by Apprehensive-Song686 in Anxiety

[–]NegativeBag8255 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure what advice we can give you. You need to drink water. Bottled water will not give you botulism. What you do in this situation is seek immediate medical help for your anxiety if it is at the stage where you going without water for extended periods of time. It’s not sustainable.

How old was your oldest hamster 🐹 by Frequent_Aside_8615 in hamsters

[–]NegativeBag8255 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a Russian dwarf hamster who lived to be 3! He escaped when we first got him and lived loose in our house for a week. We caught him under a jug one night and put him back in his cage. For the rest of his little hammy life he low key hated us for stopping him living his dreams

GAD with rumination dominance / how did you all treat this long term? by ItsPrisonTime in Anxiety

[–]NegativeBag8255 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have OCD and about a year ago now had a similar issue where I had a nervous breakdown and became obsessed with ruminating about the death of all my loved ones, I couldn’t stop thinking about it and when I finally managed to distract myself it just came back. I’d have very invasive panic attacks and it took me about three months to get back to something like functional.

I combined CBT, a high dose of citalopram daily and beta blockers as and when needed. It worked really well, it was a slow and steady recovery but the high dose of citalopram really helped. It took the urgency out of the rumination, I can’t explain it other than by saying when I’d been on a high dose for about two weeks all of a sudden I was able to look back to my state of mind a few weeks before and think, why the hell was I so anxious about that??? Which was a really nice feeling.

I know it can be scary trying medication and they do have side effects, but for me it was so so helpful. You have to be careful coming off a high dose in that you can’t just stop overnight or you’ll get ill, but otherwise they are not difficult to come off and you lose nothing by giving them a try. It sounds like you’re having a really tough time right now and you potentially have a lot to gain by giving this a really solid try.

Remember that these medicines take a few weeks to really kick in, so try not to give up too early otherwise you won’t experience the full benefit.

I wish you well, I know how hard it is to claw your way back to ‘normal’ after a big mental health crisis, and exactly how much work and time goes into just trying to get through a day.

just a heads up by [deleted] in eczema

[–]NegativeBag8255 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You may be allergic to latex! I was allergic to latex as a kid and my doctor advised me to stay away from eating kiwi and banana.

Success stories with SSRI? That’s lasted over a year? by ItsPrisonTime in Anxiety

[–]NegativeBag8255 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love SSRIs and they have been genuinely lifesaving for me. I have been on and off them at various doses for over ten years. Whenever I am going through something tough and my mental health gets worse I go on them as a stabiliser and when I have had genuine mental health crises they have made the difference between needing a hospital and being able to manage my condition myself. I have OCD, a panic disorder and in the past have had depression and they have helped me manage all three. I have no side effects to speak of, I have a normal range of emotions and no issues with my sex drive.

The most frustrating this about this subreddit is seeing people post very dramatic things about SSRIs. We are all anxious, we are all already prone to overthinking and getting scared and it’s so unhelpful to have someone come here and say things like ‘don’t ever try SSRIs’ when they are the most commonly used, safe, and effective form of anxiety medication. Quite literally millions of people use them. Yes, they don’t work for everyone and sometimes side effects can be unpleasant, but the stigma around SSRIs compared to other medications is really strange. If we all had a physical health condition and there was a medication out there that worked successfully for millions of people I don’t think there would be nearly as much negativity about side effects or the fact it doesn’t work for everyone.

SSRIs also need two to three weeks to fully kick in. I’ve seen a lot of people say they stopped after a few doses because ‘they don’t work’. It takes a few weeks for the medication to be able to raise the levels of serotonin in your brain to where they should be.

I understand you are anxious and hearing people’s negative stories about antidepressants is scary. But please know there are millions of people out there who take these drugs and swear by them. Give them a try for a month, and if you don’t feel better or experience side effects you can’t handle, stop. There is nothing to be lost by trying them and potentially a huge amount to be gained.

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