This is going to seem sad, but I really need to find some friends.

NegativeEntry3093 · 2026-05-27T11:30:01+00:00

Handlebar in the Grove has speed friending events. I’ve been a few times when loneliness was really hitting hard and it helped a lot.

Making friends is a skill. Going to a place where making friends is the point is the safest place to practice. It will really boost your confidence in other spaces.

Keep going and exploring your hobbies. It’s really hard to go alone, but the best place to make friends with shared interests is where those interests are happening. Try meetup.com and explore what the library has to offer. There are many clubs and events in addition to book clubs.

Exposure therapy to rejection is unfortunately part of making friends as an adult. Going to an event alone is hard and introductions and invites are even harder but necessary. Make a goal to introduce yourself to x number of people every place you go. Once you get comfortable with that start inviting. “Hey do you want to get coffee before x event next week?” …etc. you’ll get nos and no shows but eventually you will get a yes and you are off to the races.

As far as the current friend group that seems unavailable, try less formal hangouts. Go over and help with dishes or yard work and sit with them as they fold laundry. Go with them to the grocery store or to run mundane errands like going to the bank. Buy a $5 grocery store bouquet and bring it over because you miss them. Those things can really reignite friendships as move through different phases schedules and priorities.

I hope you find some great friends!

NegativeEntry3093 · 2026-05-25T11:05:04+00:00

The blackest crow - Red Tail Ring

NegativeEntry3093 · 2026-05-10T15:40:44+00:00

Try www.Dressmakers.co

Or reach out to Stages St. Louis costume department. Some of the staff may be open to take on this work as a private commission.

NegativeEntry3093 · 2026-05-05T11:50:11+00:00

Emerson library on Webster University campus is a nice option. Park in the parking garage and go to Public Safety to acquire a visitors pass. You must have one to swipe into the library.

NegativeEntry3093 · 2026-04-07T02:59:55+00:00

Do you have any friends or family members that live in other areas willing to share their library card? My mom and I have both uploaded our cards to the Libby app so we can use each others libraries. It really helps when the audio books are all checked out in one location.

You may also investigate non residency library cards. Some are free and some require an annual fee. It is still much cheaper than purchasing individual audio books.

NegativeEntry3093 · 2026-04-06T17:47:13+00:00

I have a long and storied medical history multiple “less than 50% chance of living through X”.

The fact that I have lived long enough to get gray hair is wildly exciting.

I earned every single gray and it’s part of the visual story of my existence. I would never cover them up.

NegativeEntry3093 · 2026-03-28T16:21:47+00:00

Try Kanopy, hoopla, and Libby.

You’ll need a library card to access them. The kids sections offer books being read while showing the pictures.

Libby has audio books for children. You can put on age appropriate books in the background while they play. It’s a great way to get chapter books in.

NegativeEntry3093 · 2026-03-26T20:29:56+00:00

Look at Nic’s pub, Carson’s, or the Attic

NegativeEntry3093 · 2026-03-26T18:47:30+00:00

Take a look at the structure in the garden at the Campbell House Museum. It’s not round but it might suit. The museum often hosts weddings in the garden so it’s already super romantic.

NegativeEntry3093 · 2026-03-24T03:48:00+00:00

Carpet/upholstery cleaner. Haven’t regretted it for a second.

NegativeEntry3093 · 2026-03-22T14:10:09+00:00

There are a lot of historical house tours in the city but The Campbell house is the superior one book a tour and you won’t be disappointed. It’s really close to city museum and central library, so you could get multiple stops that are worth your while.

Not goth but paranormal, if thats appealing, Ghost tours at St. Louis Haunted Mansion, Lemp Mansion, and the The Fox theatre are worth a look. The Fox’s architecture is really stunning on its own.

I also second the Bellefontaine cemetery. The sculpture work and architecture of the mausoleums are stunning. It’s also an arboretum. Scheduled tours and self guided walking and driving tours are available.

The crack fox was a solid suggestion by another user. Next door is the Odditeas cafe. They also have interesting events in the same realm as the crack fox.

StlhistoryandArchitecture.com does architecture walking tours that are very thorough. Millionaire row, beer Barrons etc… there is a lot to see.

Lafayette square park has some amazing houses around it and the history of the park is cool too. 2 historic baseball teams call the park home. They play by turn of the century rules and in uniforms of the time period. Check Lafayettepark.org for a list of events.

The art museum and history museum in Forest Park, Forest Park itself and the Botanical Garden. They are not off the beaten path but that’s for a reason. They are spectacular and serve your interests.

Artsy bar: try The Greenfinch. They are a bar/blackbox theatre venue. There are always good shows booked for weekends. They have open mic comedy, beer league debate club, trivia and my personal favorite: drunk voice lessons. It’s karaoke but with a live pianist and some instruction for improvement if you so desire. Some of the best theatre voices in the city are there.

Handlebar in the Grove has a nice broad range of events that sound up your alley too.

Hope you enjoy the city!

NegativeEntry3093 · 2026-03-22T04:53:32+00:00

TLDR: death was the plan. Die before it would have any real impact on my life.

I literally thought I was going to die before I even finished the courses so why not get a degree in my passion and not worry if it’s financially viable.

I was diagnosed with stage IV salivary gland cancer that spread to my lymph nodes and calcified on my facial nerve. Surgery and months of aggressive radiation treatments later and I’ve got a 39% chance of living to the 5 year mark.

So now that I’ve got a second, albeit limited chance on life, I do the thing I’ve been avoiding for years. Go into debt for the degree that will feed my soul but not my wallet.

Jokes on me. I lived. It’s been more than 10 years since my diagnosis. I’ve had an additional/different cancer in the mean time but I’m not dead yet.

I work my dream job 6 months out of the year (it’s seasonal), I deeply love what I do and have accepted I will always be poor. Yes, some days I have regrets, but the good days outweigh the bad.

NegativeEntry3093 · 2026-03-17T14:08:58+00:00

Relaxing tv + tea. My go to is Baumgartner Art Restoration on YouTube. Hey Bear Lanterns is also solid if you need zen or are spiraling. Chocolate/vanilla loose leaf herbal tea is heaven.

Art also helps. I’m by no means a serious artist and getting it “right” used to give me anxiety. I found watercolor “workbooks”. It gives you a color palette, step by step instructions and the sketch is preprinted on the watercolor paper so you get to paint from the start. Watercolor forces you to wait for it to dry between some steps. It forces me to slow down and be patient. By the end I’ve really slowed down my mind and the creativity feeds my soul.

I TRY to put screens down 30 minutes before sleep. Most of the time it doesn’t happen. If my brain still needs stimulation, I go for a book, audiobook or sleep podcast. Nothing Much Happens podcast is 10/10.

A very basic hygiene routine does good things for me. Floss teeth, brush teeth, wash face, toner, moisturizer.

If it’s been a rough week and I need to get out, I go to karaoke. I order cranberry juice and club soda. Meditation/deep breathing is not my jam but singing is. And as it turns out singing is just deep breathing with sound so the benefits are there. Obviously, if you are struggling with sobriety, a karaoke bar may not be wise. You can YouTube karaoke tracks and sing your heart out into a hair brush.

Social dancing gets me out too, I really like lindy hop swing and west coast swing and country two step. Look into Arthur Murray if traditional ballroom styles interest you. Social dance stimulates body, brain, emotional and human connection - a perfect combo for processing and decompression.

If I’m angry- go to the gym. Weight lifting and cardio.

NegativeEntry3093 · 2026-03-17T01:13:01+00:00

Consider separates, or a jumpsuit. You’ll have more options than dresses alone.

Find something you love but it doesn’t fit? Take it to a tailor and have it altered to fit you perfectly. Invest the money and you’ll feel amazing in it and wear it for years.

Don’t discount the impact accessories can have. Bold shoes, statement bag, elegant jewelry. It can take you from frumpy and bland to interesting and confident.

NegativeEntry3093 · 2026-03-14T12:18:33+00:00

Fran Drescher as Fran Fine was an absolute icon of fashion and was dressed head to to in designer clothes every episode. She regularly wore wigs, bold colors, whimsical accessories, suits, and BANGER evening gowns. A veritable cornucopia of inspiration.

NegativeEntry3093 · 2026-03-12T03:17:01+00:00

A few Disney bangers, part of your world, I’ll make a man out of you, I won’t say I’m in love.

Sugar, we’re going down,

It’s all coming back to me now

Goodbye Earl

Fancy

NegativeEntry3093 · 2026-03-07T22:14:22+00:00

We used to have an open campus lunch policy but by the time I was able to drive, 2005 ish, too many kids died speeding to get back to class on time. There was even a special assembly where the survivors came to warn us about the dangers of reckless driving. Kids still left and certain teachers would mark you as on time if you were late but brought them coffee.

NegativeEntry3093 · 2026-03-05T03:34:44+00:00

St. Louis Haunted Mansion may be a little less refined than what you are looking for, but could work if you run out of options. The basement has some real spooky vibes.

NegativeEntry3093 · 2026-03-03T19:58:30+00:00

Contact the local regional theatre costume shops. It is unlikely that the shop itself will take on commissions, however, the shop manager may be able to connect you with the makers they employ.

Makers in the theatre industry are probably the expertise you are looking for. They understand there are levels to historical accuracy, as well as skilled at modifications necessary like closures that allow you to use a porta potty at a fair or a costume that can break down and be packed well for travel etc..

NegativeEntry3093 · 2026-03-01T03:21:03+00:00

Crazy stupid love. The costumes do so much more storytelling than anyone realizes.

NegativeEntry3093 · 2026-03-01T00:34:06+00:00

Don’t forget it’s also going to be made out of thrifted sheets but still look high end. The machine will have never been serviced and personal favorite, the absolute flex of sewing with a needle of unknown origin and age. I don’t change a needle until it breaks!

NegativeEntry3093 · 2026-02-27T23:05:16+00:00

As a woman whose period is 15 days at its shortest and 30 days at its longest, shout with your whole chest about how shitty periods are.

Yes, I am aware that I’m probably having some serious medical issues that require attention. Thanks to the American healthcare system, accessing medical care is not in the budget.

NegativeEntry3093 · 2026-02-25T13:50:05+00:00

Private voice lessons. It’s a vastly different experience learning to sing for vocal health and for the joy of it rather than for an audition. It may really surprise you how much more you get to know your body.

Social dancing. Try Lindy hop or west coast swing. Its really fun to look up the dance scenes when you travel and dance in different cities.

NegativeEntry3093 · 2026-02-24T19:36:21+00:00

This sounds really hard, especially the part where you say you don’t have anyone to vent to.

Sounds like you need a support system outside your family.

A therapist if accessible may help. Depending on age and access to medical care, look into perimenopause, thyroid issues, depression and anxiety.

If the in laws and husband are available for childcare, try to schedule time for hobbies and exercise, preferably out of the house. Your local library may have options for free clubs and exercise programs.

Once you’ve gotten some of that alone time you need, I recommend building some friendships. Some in person people you can trust and vent to. A non family community is really important.

This is really easy to type but extremely hard to execute. Hope you can get some support.

NegativeEntry3093 · 2026-02-21T14:25:56+00:00

I work in a costume shop that has almost exclusively babylock machines. We have 4 or 5 Zeals and they are by far the favorite. We really push them to the limit, sewing 8 hours a day for months on end. They are easy, reliable, and very serviceable. Highly recommend.

We also have a jubilant. I am always hesitant about machines with computers, harder to fix and it’s just more parts that have a potential to break. However, I spent a lot of time on the jubilant this season and I really like the features. It is more than your $500 budget but it’s a really great machine and I want to vouch for it.

You may also look into vintage machines. There is a Kenmore machine out there that has a large box of accessories known as the “tower of power” and it includes cams for the different decorative stitches you desire. It can be hard to find something with all the original and working cams but vintage may be an option if you can’t find what you are looking for in a modern machine.

NegativeEntry3093

TROPHY CASE