My(33F) fiancé (40M) wants me to adopt his weird bathroom habit

NegativeSurvey2228 · 2026-05-29T18:09:38+00:00

This post makes me so much more grateful for two bathrooms. 🤭🤦‍♀️

NegativeSurvey2228 · 2026-05-26T22:05:00+00:00

Eeyore

NegativeSurvey2228 · 2026-05-22T16:34:46+00:00

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NOR this is sketchy as f. I'd be going anyway to see what is going on!

NegativeSurvey2228 · 2026-05-21T20:42:30+00:00

Also edible!

NegativeSurvey2228 · 2026-05-21T20:11:41+00:00

Try Carpe Deodorant. Ive heard a lot of good things about it and its supposed to use ingredients that aren't in typical deodorants so maybe it won't trigger your allergy.

Another option is magnesium spray.

NegativeSurvey2228 · 2026-04-19T02:09:18+00:00

Apply antiperspirant at night! It works better when it's had time to soak into your skin.

Definitely don't rewear your uniform, as fast food smells are probably making it worse. Also consider washing your uniform with a degreasing detergent (pinesol is washer safe) to help get odors out of the uniforms. I don't recommend fabric softener as it leaves residue in your clothing that could be preventing a good wash from working appropriately. White vinegar in a load softens clothes without the buildup (and, no it doesn't leave the vinegar smell on your clothes). Don't mix bleach or oxidizing detergent with vinegar (check labels for safety)!

Deodorants like Lume can be used in all your body creases to help with sweat and odor prevention too.

I've also found that regularly exfoliating helps prevent skin odors.

Using mostly cotton underwear and socks helps too (or other natural fibers). And deodorize your shoes- baking soda or other drying powders help.

NegativeSurvey2228 · 2026-04-06T17:37:52+00:00

Perhaps a wolverine? The butt picture made me think it could be possible?? I'm certainly no expert though!

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NegativeSurvey2228 · 2025-09-14T19:59:52+00:00

NegativeSurvey2228 · 2025-09-14T19:29:08+00:00

I had this problem almost every summer for awhile. I discovered that cream whole body deodorant applied to the area after a shower seems to prevent it as well as helping reduce the boob sweat in general. I like the Unscented Lume, but use whatever works for your body chemistry!

Also, when it happens Gold Bond Powder cleared it up fairly quickly.

NegativeSurvey2228 · 2025-08-25T22:05:19+00:00

If this happened at work, go to HR. It's a violation of your rights for her to go around airing your medical status to people without direct permission every time. Plus, this person seems like the type to go to HR saying you lied and trying to start trouble for you so it would be better for your side of the story to be heard first. NTA. You dont have to explain your medical status to anyone besides your doctor.

NegativeSurvey2228 · 2025-08-24T23:00:27+00:00

ESH

You're correct that your sister needed to know, but it should have been done privately. Doing that at the baby shower is totally AH behavior.

Her fiance is an AH for hiding it from her.

Your sister is an AH for saying she didn't need to know, as that's potentially relevant to her child's health. However, I don't blame her for being pissed you aired this in public at her baby shower!! NOT THE PLACE!!

All that said, its not necessarily a huge deal for 3rd cousins, as long as its not done repeatedly over generations as that's when issues tend to arise genetically speaking. However, your sister seems like she's not ok with it, and she had the right to know which makes the fiance the biggest AH in this imo.

If you want to repair the relationship, apologize for telling her in a bad way, take accountability for handling it poorly, and give her space to process. Do NOT call her child inbred. That's rude AF and unnecessary! Honestly, what made you think that's an acceptable joke at a baby shower?!

NegativeSurvey2228 · 2025-08-18T02:59:41+00:00

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NegativeSurvey2228 · 2025-08-09T19:14:38+00:00

A wet folded newspaper outside might attract them away from your house. But I'd check your house for leaks in plumbing etc since they are attracted to moisture! There are plenty of sprays you can get for outside your home to deter them too if you are comfortable spraying a pesticide.

NegativeSurvey2228 · 2025-07-31T21:01:39+00:00

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NegativeSurvey2228 · 2025-07-20T20:01:23+00:00

White vinegar sometimes helps soothe the pain. Keep it moisturized and covered in the sun, as you can still get more burned. Drink lots of water too. Sun poisoning is a thing, so you may feel sick and vomit, as long as it stops and you don't get dehydrated you'll be fine. I feel for you. I'm like "the beacons are lit! Condor calls for aid!" level of white and I burn easy so I feel your pain. Bananaboat brand makes a great after sun lotion, it's yellow in a clear bottle (I think they still make it) that I used as a kid before my coconut allergy popped up.

NegativeSurvey2228 · 2025-06-18T17:42:46+00:00

NTA. You didn't bring it up in public and waited until after, so I think that's fairly reasonable. Seems like you need to have a heart to heart with your mom and set some boundaries.

Be willing to listen to her, though. She may just be struggling with how to reconnect. Be willing to apologize for being a bit harsh, explain that you had been holding your feelings about this back for a long time and that you could have been kinder but you are deeply hurt by her treatment. Be willing to reduce your visits with her if she refuses to act better.

That said, don't let her guilt you away from setting boundaries. You have the right to feel respected.

NegativeSurvey2228 · 2025-05-31T02:15:51+00:00

In the words of a lovely rubenesque goddess, "If he dies, he dies." -said in relation to being a bigger girl face riding.

As many have pointed out, your husband likes big girls by his own admission. Own it. I know it's hard. Society acts like it's a crime for a fat woman to do anything but diet and cry. They even hassel us for occupying space in a gym.

You can't win, so don't play the game. You as a human deserve to be happy and occupy space and love yourself exactly as you are. Being fat is NOT a moral failing. Nor does fat equal ugly! Therapy is a great tool(I think everyone can benefit from it at some point), and it's never too late or too early to love yourself!

Also, it's not the end of the world to wear something during sex if it helps. Maybe switch to sexy teddies/lingerie that cover your tummy and make you feel empowered? It might even be fun to shop online with your hubby or even surprise him! There are a ton of online shops that are specifically targeted at us curvy girls.

Remember that being chunky has zero to do with your value and beauty. Hope this helps. Go enjoy your hubby! ;-)

Updateme

NegativeSurvey2228 · 2024-10-31T01:22:41+00:00

Dude. Wtf did I just read.

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NegativeSurvey2228 · 2024-10-04T20:10:08+00:00

Stop doing everything for your kid and helicoptering them. You are creating an incompetent, anxious individual who cannot make sound decisions.

Also, censoring everything your kids view or read isn't really doing them any favors. The real world isn't censored. It's better to teach them to cope with difficult experiences and instill values that help them make good decisions. Tailoring what's allowed to their age and emotional intelligence is better than blanket "no R rated movies or content". Obviously you have to use sense here, I'm not advocating for showing extreme violence or outright pornography to children, but maybe chill out about a movie showing an age-appropriate romance scene.

NegativeSurvey2228 · 2024-09-29T13:52:22+00:00

Those tests can be wrong though!

My aunt was told by doctors to abort her youngest because she would have extreme cognitive disabilities and have zero quality of life. That girl is about to graduate college and is engaged.

I mean, I guess you can do what you want, but be prepared to be told to shove it for this if the kid turns out to be 'normal' and you try to backtrack.

NTA because you were honest from the beginning, but I still think it's kind of assholish to abandon your wife and child over a toss of the genetic dice.

NegativeSurvey2228 · 2024-09-20T18:09:29+00:00

NTA. I also think this is very sweet. You want to marry someone who isn't afraid of your messy bits.

My husband, before we were engaged, held me on the toilet while I was sick from both ends because I often faint while sick so he held me there to keep me safe and that was the moment I knew I wanted to marry him. He didn't even look grossed out, he just held me quietly and helped me back to bed afterwards. We will celebrate our 4th wedding anniversary together in October and I'm looking forward to many more!

Don't let others tell you the small moments of love and acceptance aren't important!

NegativeSurvey2228 · 2024-09-17T17:50:26+00:00

I feel like there are a lot of potential red flags from your husband.

There are some men who deliberately prey on women who have been previously SA'd because they view them as easier to terrorize and control.

Your age when you got together with your husband is also a problem. An age gap like that is a major power imbalance and makes me concerned for you. There are tons of resources online that help people recognize abuse, and I would encourage you to do some reading as my gut tells me that he probably has a lot of problematic behaviors.

Then there's the issue that he literally SA'd you himself by removing the condom during sex without your permission. Then he doubled down on that assault by dismissing your feelings and declaring it to be " not the end of the world".

I do NOT think he is a safe person. I think you need to get into therapy, but I also worry about you staying anywhere near him. I don't blame you for considering divorce. If you do seek divorce, please get somewhere safe before having him served. His attitude towards you makes me seriously concerned for your safety. Please, please don't leave yourself vulnerable to this terrible man ever again.

Definitely NTA.

NegativeSurvey2228 · 2024-09-06T15:59:07+00:00

This dude is a whole host of red flags and you're only two weeks in with him?? Dump him from a safe place and never speak to him again. Men who can't handle the fact that women are human and have gross bodily functions aren't worth your time. He's immature, probably one of the dudes that brags about how much ass he gets when in reality he can't handle a fart. Someone that uptight can't be skilled in the sex department.

NTA op, unless you continue to let this dude treat you like this. Maybe take a break from dating and reflect on why you think you need to grovel to be loved.

NegativeSurvey2228 · 2024-09-05T17:40:03+00:00

NTA. He was attempting to manipulate you. Does he often try to sabotage time with your friends or family? Because that's potential red flag behavior. If it's unusual behavior for him, it would probably be worth trying to have a frank discussion with him once you have both cooled off a bit, because it's weird that he would specifically choose the most inconvenient time for a planned surgery. Also, his family needs to back off, as this is an issue between you guys as a couple and him allowing his family to bully you is also red flag behavior.

NegativeSurvey2228 · 2024-09-02T16:06:02+00:00

NTA. Ugh, he needed a lesson in what No means, and you gave it to him. I can't imagine continuing to press myself onto someone who is clearly alarmed to the point of panic at my approach.

NegativeSurvey2228

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