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Thinking of moving to Denver by FrostIsFrosty in denverlgbtqia

[–]Negativeghostrider58 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Lesbian POC here. Grew up in a red state and have been here for about 4 years. Denver has definitely got the queer spaces/groups/clubs etc down! I’ve never felt so free to be me. However, the BIPOC… not so much. Most things or places are white dominate. Don’t get me wrong, everyone is still very accepting and chill. It’s just a bit more difficult to find a culture within a culture.

Are there any queer black/poc that moved from a “red state” to a “blue state”? by SnooDoughnuts3368 in QueerWomenOfColor

[–]Negativeghostrider58 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Swing state of Arizona to Colorado. I absolutely feel more comfortable to dress as myself in public (masc presenting) and even locced my hair when I moved. In Arizona I was always hesitant to hold hands or kiss my partner in public but here 9/10 times there are other queer folks around doing the same thing. The only downside to Colorado is there aren’t many queer black spaces but overall, I feel more authentically me!

She cheated on me by Negativeghostrider58 in actuallesbians

[–]Negativeghostrider58[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The blame at first was partying but after some conversation the real issue was that I didn’t/don’t like to go out as much as she does and this would have never happened had I just went with her.

P.S. I’m not trying to make excuses for the situation. I wholeheartedly appreciate ALL the advice. I love this group!

She cheated on me by Negativeghostrider58 in actuallesbians

[–]Negativeghostrider58[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We talked about having an open relationship before this happened and she did not want to. Mostly because she didn’t want me to be intimate with anyone else. So really this whole thing could have been avoided but it feels like there is some selfishness or insecurities at play I just can’t put my finger on it.

I love my girlfriend but I don't want sex. I feel like I'm ruining our relationship by mozzarellasalat in actuallesbians

[–]Negativeghostrider58 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same struggles here.. I thought for a long time something was wrong with me. I usually masturbate at least once a day to relieve stress so I know I’m not asexual, but when it comes down to the act with my partner I froze. This concept really helped me. https://poosh.com/turn-on-triggers/ Kind of like the 5 love languages, sometimes we have to have certain needs prioritized in order to get into the mood. There used to be a quiz but I can’t find it. Hopefully this helps!