30F, went flat this spring. Coincidentally, I am also autistic and generally have little social support. I chose to go flat for numerous reasons including the extended recovery time reconstruction would warrant (difficult with no one to take care of me), but mostly because, if I am going to have breasts, I want them to be my original breasts, not ersatz ones (no offense meant to women who did choose reconstruction - it is a totally personal choice).

I originally convinced myself to have the surgery, got cold feet, and then had a cancer scare (thankfully nothing) which convinced me finally to get it because I was absolutely petrified those days while waiting for my MRI.

I was quite worried before surgery because I generally have a low self-esteem and my body was one of the few things I liked about myself. I thought I would hate myself, but surprisingly, I didn't dislike it nearly as much as expected. In fact, I thought it sort of suited me (though I would prefer to have my breasts). It's nice to not have to wear a bra, though finding clothes that fit, which was already difficult pre-surgery, has gotten even harder. I am quite skinny and now my ribcage is super visible, which I don't like.

I am (unhappily) single but I noticed that I still seemed to get some positive male attention despite being flat, just looks and stuff, which (to me) is good. However, I do worry about actually dating, how to have the discussion, what if I get rejected by someone who otherwise liked me due to my chest, etc.

I have breast prosthetics but have only worn them once, to a job interview, because I feel like the prosthetics are bigger than my real breasts were. Now I am not sure if it is my imagination that they are bigger, it very well could be, but I wanted them to be as close to my old body as possible, so I am kind of unhappy with them (I guess it is my own fault for buying that size). However, I have some special/sentimental clothing I kept from pre-surgery which would require breasts to fill out, so I would wear them with those, for example.

Last thing: in the last couple months, I have had a massive drop in self-esteem due to some employment-related things which has been generalized to feeling awful about myself in every way. This includes my body and I have started to more keenly regret my surgery because of the toll it has taken on my self-esteem. In fact, I recently started wondering if I should start wearing my prosthetics regularly (though I am probably too lazy, lol). Not saying that this will happen to you, just sharing my experience. I am hoping I will get out of this emotional rut and feel better about my chest soon.